


Breaking him down

by IvvyMoon (blue_jack)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Bottom!Naruto, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, I don't know, M/M, Naruto leaves Konoha, Sasuke is abusive to start out, Self-Harm, Switching, Top!Naruto, bottom!Sasuke, but abuse is abuse, he tries to make up for it later, if I need more tags let me know, it's been like 5 years since I thought about this fic, narusasunaru, top!Sasuke, when he gets his head out of his ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-09 14:41:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 87,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3253523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_jack/pseuds/IvvyMoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasuke had never forgiven him for killing Itachi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was the second story I ever started. The difference in style from chapter 1 to the last chapter still amazes me. Not that I've read this again or anything in years, but I remember feeling that way. >_> It took me a year to finish maybe? I don't know. Man, where has the time gone?
> 
> FYI, there are some cutesy parts in here as a nod to the manga that make me embarrassed to recall, but I was younger back then, what can I say?
> 
> \-----
> 
> This first chapter has some SasuSaku, but it’s just to carry the story along. Main pairing is initially SasuNaru and eventually goes to NaruSasuNaru. Story beta’d by Wolfgirl37 (she's so awesome!).

Sasuke had never forgiven him for killing Itachi.

Naruto sighed, trudging home after a long meeting with the Hokage. He had just gotten back from a weeklong mission, and now that he had reported in, he just wanted to go home and sleep. 

But Sasuke was probably home, and he didn’t really want to see him yet. He wanted a break from the tension between the two of them. Even now, three years later, Sasuke still resented him for being the one to deal the killing blow, for being strong enough to defeat Itachi. 

Thinking back, Naruto remembered the infamous day Sasuke became the last Uchiha. Sasuke had fought Itachi until the two of them were almost completely out of chakra. The area where they had been fighting was completely demolished, proof of their Herculean battle. But Itachi had enough chakra reserved for one last jutsu, and Sasuke had been unable to avoid it. He was knocked unconscious. It had been pure luck that Naruto had managed to arrive in time to keep Itachi from stealing Sasuke’s eyes, to keep Sasuke alive. 

When Sasuke had come to, he had been so quiet at first, just staring at Itachi’s dead body in silence. Suddenly, he grabbed a kunai and started hacking at Itachi, plunging the kunai into his body again and again, screaming. Finally he had turned red Sharingan eyes to Naruto. He had been enraged, and in a blur of speed had come at Naruto, yelling at him for daring to kill Itachi. He hadn’t known what to do and could only stare at Sasuke in shock.

Kakashi and the rest of the team arrived then, and they managed to subdue Sasuke and take him and Itachi’s body to Konoha. He had been treated for his wounds, isolated from the rest of Team 7. It would be months before any of them would see him. 

Tsunade and the Council had allowed Sasuke to stay in Konoha. The Elders did not want to lose the Sharingan. He was under watch by Anbu and wasn’t allowed to use chakra for two full years before finally they reinstated him as a shinobi. Even then, he was only allowed D missions. Now, three years later, they were finally going to lift this final ban and let him take his place in the ranks of Genin. Naruto snorted. Sasuke as a Genin was ridiculous, but he would be sure to jump up to Jounin quickly. He was a genius after all. 

His amusement faded away quickly. While Sasuke’s professional life was finally getting better, their personal life had come to a standstill long ago.

The first time Naruto had seen Sasuke after he got out of the hospital, Sasuke had barely acknowledged him, walking past him with one cold glance. Naruto had hoped Sasuke had gotten over his anger that he had killed Itachi, but it was obviously not the case. Still, he was grateful Sasuke had at least not tried to kill him. He absently rubbed his chest. Even with taijutsu alone, Sasuke was a formidable opponent, and Naruto didn’t want to hurt him, especially since showing off his strength would only make things worse between the two of them.

It was a year before Sasuke would talk to him. Naruto had been his persistent self, and finally, finally Sasuke had begun to open up to him again. It was another year before they began dating. 

Naruto felt tears begin to well up in his eyes, and he hurriedly wiped them away. He was just blocks from the Uchiha compound, and he refused to cry in front of Sasuke.

Sasuke would blow hot and cold with Naruto in that first year. One minute they would be insulting each other like they used to, and then the next minute, Sasuke would freeze up, walking away without a word. Eventually this began to happen less and less frequently, and by the time Naruto had confessed his more than friendly feelings, those instances had disappeared almost altogether. 

Still, there would be times when Naruto would look at Sasuke, and he would be watching him, eyes calculating.

The night he had told Sasuke how he felt, Sasuke had once again gotten up and left without a word. But not before Naruto had seen a look of triumph on his face.

At the time, Naruto had thought he had imagined that look, had naively attributed that look to triumph that Naruto had revealed his feelings first. After all, Sasuke had responded the next day, had agreed to start dating him. But now, looking back, Naruto knew that look had been because Sasuke planned to use those feelings against him.

The first few months of their relationship had been great. Not perfect by any means, but they had fun together, laughed together (or chuckled darkly in Sasuke’s case), and he’d been so happy. After three months, Sasuke had told he might as well move in with him.

Everything changed after that. In the past six months, Sasuke had been slowly chipping away at Naruto, breaking him piece by piece. He criticized Naruto’s appearance, his eating habits, his weight, his training regime, his cleanliness, everything about him. They had started as offhand remarks, something to be ignored really, but when Sasuke had continued to make more and more comments, he had started doubting himself. It wasn’t in the teasing way they used to insult each other, out of rivalry and friendship. These comments were cutting, indicating how lowly Naruto was in comparison to him. 

The only thing he hadn’t insulted was his lovemaking abilities, but even there, he wasn’t happy. Sasuke wouldn’t let Naruto top. The rare times they would have sex, Naruto would practically have to beg to get Sasuke in bed, and they were always fast, hard sessions that left Naruto unsatisfied (emotionally anyway) and craving more. And through it all, Naruto hadn’t fought back, because he loved Sasuke, and he felt guilty.

Naruto sighed again. Guilty for killing Itachi. 

It was like Naruto was a stranger watching himself. On the one hand, he knew he shouldn’t take the abuse, wasn’t affected by the abuse. He watched, detached, as Sasuke’s comments made the other Naruto nervous, made him eat less, made him stop wearing orange and start wearing the clothes Sasuke bought for him instead. The other Naruto trained less, was starting to get pale and hardly seemed to talk or laugh at all. Who was that Naruto?

His friends had noticed the change in him. They didn’t know what to do. Sasuke never treated him unkindly in public, so they didn’t understand the sudden change in him. They worried he was getting sick. He had begun avoiding them, eager to escape the questions.

Sakura was the only one who seemed to suspect Sasuke. She told Naruto he should leave him. Ever since moving in with Sasuke, Naruto had been acting differently, and she said he deserved better. He couldn’t explain to her that he deserved everything Sasuke did to him. He had stolen Sasuke’s dream after all.

Guilt was a funny thing. If anyone else had said anything like the things Sasuke said to him, he would’ve laughed it off, maybe hit him. But whatever Sasuke said, he took to heart.

The watcher Naruto though didn’t care what Sasuke said, had stopped caring a long time ago. That Naruto just watched the first Naruto deteriorate and whispered, “He isn’t done yet.”

Naruto finally arrived at the Uchiha complex. 

As he reached for the door knob to their house, he began to hear noises inside. Sasuke had company? Sasuke was an anti-social bastard – he hated company.

But the sounds he could hear weren’t conversation. In fact, they sounded like –

_“Oh, oh, Sasuke!”_

Naruto opened the door. 

Movement and skin. That was the first thing that registered in his mind at the sight before him. His heart was beating so fast that it felt like it would explode in his chest. His eyes burned, and he wanted to throw up. Idly, he realized he was crushing the doorknob in his hand. He must have made some noise because they suddenly both looked at him. A startled noise of dismay sounded through the room, partially submerged beneath a flurry of white sheets and pink hair as the act of infidelity was hastily and clumsily hidden by the third party. 

He distantly heard, “It isn’t what you think!” but in such a situation, how could it really be anything else? All he knew was that he was solely focused on the person his mind was convicting.

Sasuke didn’t say anything, just watched him with those cold assessing eyes, not even bothering to cover the proof of their activities. And Naruto knew, knew finally that Sasuke hated him. He didn’t care that Naruto had walked in on them. It’s not like they were trying to hide from him after all. How could he have missed them? They were sitting in the damn living room, right in front of the door. He had heard them from outside the fucking door! 

He locked his knees in order to keep from falling. Sasuke had wanted him to see, had done this on purpose to hurt him. How many times had Sasuke cheated on him? Had Sasuke planned on Naruto walking in on him eventually? No wonder he never wanted to have sex, he thought wildly. Why would he when he was getting sex from other people? 

Inside he screamed, overcome with the pain of knowing that his two most precious people had betrayed him. _Why, why, WHY?_

He loved them. They were everything to him, his family, the reason he tried so hard to become stronger, two of the first people to ever acknowledge him. He couldn’t…they were…why Sasuke…don’t do this…please love me…I’m sorry I killed him…please love me…

With a small shiver, barely noticeable, he broke. The bonds he had treasured for so long, the bonds he had done everything to protect, snapped apart. And then there was nothing. Only the faint echoes of the screams in his head.


	2. Chapter 2

When Naruto became aware of his surroundings, he realized he was running through the forest outside Konoha at a breakneck speed. _If only I could run away from the memory of them together just as easily._

Fuck, he didn’t want this. He didn’t notice the tears flying from his face as he jumped from tree to tree. He had never wanted any of this. He had just wanted Sasuke to come home, for the four of them to be a team again. But now…it would never be the same again. His footsteps stuttering for a second, he realized it hadn’t been the same even after Sasuke had come back.

He had to get out of there. He needed time to think, and he didn’t want anyone following him. _Not that anyone would_ , he thought bitterly. After all, the only two people who knew he was running, the two people he had loved the most, were the two people he was running from.

His hands a blur, he made the signs for a teleportation jutsu. This could end up really badly, but he didn’t want to be tracked. For a teleportation jutsu to be safe, you had to know where you were going to land, be able to picture it in your mind down to the most miniscule detail. He didn’t care where he was going, but he did need to make sure he didn’t teleport into a tree or something. That would be bad.

 _What the hell_ , he thought. _Kyuubi can heal almost anything._ With a _poof_ , he disappeared.

Only to reappear miles away, high above the treetops.

 _Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!_ As he fell through the air, he poured chakra into his hands and feet, getting ready to (hopefully) grab and cling to a tree. _Why don’t I think before I do stupid shit like this!_

His hands scrambled for purchase, but he was too far away to grab anything. _I don’t wanna die, I don’t wanna die_ , he repeated desperately. 

_I don’t wanna- Shit!_ He finally managed to grab a branch and screamed as his shoulder dislocated. If he hadn’t moved the chakra into his hands, he would have fallen again, but he was able to use his other arm to hold the branch and pull himself up. Whimpering slightly, he inched his way to the trunk of the tree and propped himself up. Taking a few deep breaths, he wrenched his shoulder back into place. Hissing between his teeth, he waited until Kyuubi’s chakra began to heal him. After a while, the pain receded completely.

For a few minutes, he relaxed against the tree, looking out over the rest of the forest, quiet and at peace. The adrenaline high from nearly dying gave him a false sense of euphoria. But then he remembered why he had felt the need to do something so stupid in the first place. He closed his eyes.

“Sasuke…”

Almost, almost he could forgive Sakura. He knew she loved Sasuke. He had always known. And if you thought about it fairly, you could almost say he had been the one to steal Sasuke away from her. After all, he had promised her to bring Sasuke back. If their situations were reversed, if Sasuke had chosen her instead, would he have done the same thing?

His eyes popped open, blazing red, and he stood up. His fists clenched, sharp claws cutting his palms.

No! No, he wouldn’t have hurt her, he wouldn’t have done that to her! Because her happiness meant more to him than almost anything else. 

Red chakra began to billow around him. 

And Sasuke! How could he do this to him? He knew, had always known what Sasuke was doing over the past several months. 

A ghostly tail appeared behind him, and he started to hunch over.

He allowed Sasuke to change him, to hurt him. He had hoped that eventually Sasuke would forgive him and things could return to normal. He had walked on eggshells for six months thinking Sasuke would finally let it go. Why wasn’t it enough? When would it ever be enough?

Another tail joined the first. He didn’t notice the low growls coming from his mouth.

He had just wanted to save Sasuke. He didn’t want Sasuke to die! He was his most precious person. He couldn’t let him die! 

A third tail appeared.

Why would he fuck Sakura and not him? Why would he take away another of his precious people? Why would they do this to him? _Why didn’t they love him as much as he loved them?_

With an almost audible pop, the tails disappeared. His back slowly straightened, his claws became hands and his eyes turned brilliant blue. He fell back, sitting on the branch, arms wrapped around his knees and head down.

Why couldn’t anyone love him?

………………………………..

It was completely dark before he stirred again. 

Naruto wasn’t a genius when it came to a lot of things. He could barely do genjutsu, he had horrible chakra control, he had taken three tries to pass the academy exams…but he did know people. And just like Sasuke had thrown himself into killing Itachi, Sasuke would continue to hurt him until he got his revenge on Naruto. 

He couldn’t do this anymore. He felt so empty. If he listened hard enough, he imagined he could still hear his screams from when he saw Sasuke and Sakura together. 

“So what, bastard? A dream for a dream?” he whispered hoarsely. If he gave up his dream to become Hokage, would Sasuke finally be satisfied? Would anything satisfy him? Sasuke obviously wanted something. He wasn’t quite sure why Sasuke hadn’t just killed him. They lived together after all – he had had plenty of opportunities. Did it even matter anymore?

No, he sighed. It really didn’t. Because after seeing the two of them together, he didn’t think he could go back. It was all just too much. And missing nin could not become Hokage. If he followed through with his decision, he would never become Hokage. He laughed wryly. Hell, if they somehow managed to drag him back to Konoha, he would most likely be killed anyway, so why worry? The Council would love any excuse to kill the demon carrier. 

He looked in the vague direction where he thought Konoha was. It was too far away to see though, even if he was looking over the treetops. Could he really do it, become a missing nin? There were still other people who cared for him. Iruka, Kakashi, Tsunade, Neji, Kiba, Shikamaru, Chouji, Hinata, Ino, Lee, Sai… Did he really want to leave his friends?

“Sasuke…Sakura…” Why did he still care for them? What they had done was unforgivable. He shouldn’t…he couldn’t still love them! Could he?

 _I don’t know_ , he thought. He was too numb. He knew he was angry, he knew part of him wanted to hurt them, but most of him just wanted to run away.

But love? He didn’t know. When he tried to examine his feelings for them, there was just…nothing…

 _Sigh._ At least he had never come out and told Sasuke he loved him. At least he could pretend he had a shred of pride left. 

On the bright side, he had Gama-chan with him (he always took it on missions), so he wasn’t completely penniless. He didn’t know where he would go or what he would do, but at least it would be far away from Sasuke. 

He snorted. Even now, his life seemed to revolve around that bastard. But it was time to change that. 

He reached behind his head and untied his head protector. He looked at the leaf symbol in his hand for a long time, all the past years running through his mind. “I’m sorry, Jiraiya,” he whispered. “I wish I could’ve been more worthy like your last student.”

He gently laid the head protector on the branch, right where it met with the trunk of the tree. He didn’t want it to be damaged.

He looked once more toward Konoha. 

“Good-bye,” he whispered. Then resolutely, he began to move away. He never looked back again.


	3. Chapter 3

_Almost 5 years later_

 

Sasuke knocked on the door to Tsunade’s office. He knew better than to walk in suddenly. She became very upset if someone barged into her office unexpectedly, especially during the past five years.

“You summoned me, Hokage-sama?”

He looked at the Hokage, noticing her bloodshot eyes. Tsunade rarely left her office anymore. She could frequently be found at all hours of the day in her office, staring at the faces of previous Hokages. She still drank too much sake and gambled recklessly, but her actions seemed automatic now and lacked her previous enjoyment.

Tsunade seemed full of energy today, however, pacing in front of her desk. She started toying with the necklace at her throat absentmindedly, the necklace she had given…him. It had arrived in Konoha a few months after that fateful day. A note accompanied it, but it only said one word - “Good-bye.” 

The farmer who delivered it had been detained and questioned, but it was soon obvious he didn’t have the answers they were searching for. Apparently, a blond ninja had saved his life during an attempted robbery. In payment, all his rescuer had asked of him was that he deliver a package to the Hokage the next time he was in Konoha to sell his goods.

At that point, Tsunade could no longer deny the urgings of the Council, and she had declared Naruto a missing-nin. He was to be apprehended and returned to Konoha. Extreme force was authorized if he resisted.

“Ah, Sasuke, I have a reconnaissance mission for you.”

He arched an eyebrow at her. It had to be quite a dangerous situation to require a ninja of his skill.

“We’ve been getting disturbing reports about a village neighboring the Land of Rain.” 

Ahh. Pein’s death years ago had caused high levels of unrest in the area. Situated between three of the great countries, the Land of Rain often served as a battleground for the other countries’ wars. Without Pein to enforce a relative peace, the area had fallen to its previous war-ravaged condition. 

“There are rumors that a high-level ninja is using the village as a staging ground to build an army. I want you to investigate. Do _not_ kill him.” Sasuke was surprised by the sudden tension in her voice. “He has not made any aggressive moves, and he seems to be bringing a small level of stability with him, but we do not want a repeat of Pein. Full details are in the scroll.”

He caught the scroll she threw at him adeptly, shrugging off her odd behavior. Bowing, he left the room to gather his gear.

\-----------------------

Sasuke walked into his bedroom, ignoring the way his footsteps seemed to echo in the room. He gathered his weapons, methodically checking every item. He didn’t even blink when he heard the lazy “Yo!” from his old teacher.

“Hn,” he replied. He had never been a big talker, but for the past five years, he had seemed to withdraw into himself even more.

Kakashi seemed unconcerned by his cold greeting and settled on the windowsill, pulling out his ever-present novel and getting comfortable.

Sasuke didn’t even twitch an eye. He was used to Kakashi by now, and if the scarecrow had something to say to him, he would. If not…well it’s not like he cared in the first place.

Kakashi hadn’t removed his eyes from the page he was reading, but as Sasuke started to walk out the door with his things, he said, “I’ve heard rumors that the ninja you are looking for has bright blond hair and blue eyes.”

Satisfied when Sasuke stumbled almost imperceptibly, he disappeared with a poof. 

\---------------

Damn, Kakashi! Sasuke snarled, moving through the trees at a breakneck speed. He knew the only thing that could get a reaction out of him nowadays was mention of…Naruto…

He had read the mission scroll. None of their spies had actually seen the leader up close, but by various reports, when he had first started becoming active in the area, people had commented on his rare blond hair and blue eyes. That had been two years ago. There weren’t any recent descriptions of his appearance. Spies from various countries had tried to infiltrate the area, but many of them were killed. The Land of Rain was notorious for being made up of mostly war refugees and missing-nins after all. Spies, if discovered, were taken care of swiftly and mercilessly. Those that had managed to survive had never been able to determine the leader’s identity.

Could it really be him? Sasuke was actually slightly impressed by the daring of the move if it really were Naruto. But if Tsunade suspected the ninja to be Naruto, why hadn’t she sent out a team to bring him back to Konoha before this? Why wait until he had established a power base? And why send Sasuke? Naruto…hated him. Sasuke ignored the pang in his heart at that thought, but couldn’t stop the sudden rush of memories.

\-----------------  
“N-Naruto! It’s not - it’s not what you think!” Sakura exclaimed, picking up a throw blanket and hastily trying to cover her nakedness.

Naruto had just stood there at the door, unspeaking. But the look of horror and betrayal on his face was evident to both of them. 

Sasuke had remained sitting on the couch, watching the outcome of his careful machinations. Ever since he had come to and realized Itachi was dead, he had been in a constant state of rage. How dare he? How dare Naruto take away his revenge? It was all he had lived for since he was a child. He had sacrificed years of his life, become a missing-nin, given himself over to Orochimaru, left behind everything and everyone he had ever cared for…and all for nothing. 

It didn’t matter that Itachi would have killed him. It didn’t matter that Sasuke had already weakened Itachi. That Naruto could get past Hebi and reach them, that he would be the one to deal the killing blow - it made a mockery of his life. And suddenly, he had nothing…he was nothing. Even his revenge had been stolen from him.

Naruto, Naruto, Naruto…Naruto, who had risen above his demon status in the village. Naruto, who had gone from dead last to become an amazingly powerful ninja. Naruto, who had vowed to become Hokage. Naruto, who had never given up on him. It was always Naruto.

He didn’t even remember attacking Naruto with the kunai he had used to desecrate Itachi’s body. Tsunade had told him later. He did remember, however, the rage, the hate that had transferred from Itachi to Naruto. Naruto, who was his best friend.

He didn’t see anyone other than members of the medical staff, Anbu and Tsunade for months. During that time, he had tried to come to terms with his life. It had helped that Naruto wasn’t allowed near him. Tsunade had told him the terms of his reinstatement as a ninja. He had accepted. What else was there to do now? Even though Itachi was gone, he still had to revive his clan. It was one goal Naruto couldn’t take from him. Or so he thought.

After he had been released, he had refused to see the members of Team 7, had ignored Naruto the best he could. But Naruto refused to give up on him. And what the persistent, hyperactive, annoying ninja wanted, he almost invariably got. Naruto was one of the few people who made any effort to see him, talk to him. Even Kakashi and Sakura knew to give him space. 

And sometimes, he would find himself falling into old habits. Arguing with Naruto over some stupid thing, almost laughing at something he said or did…and then he would have to walk away, because he couldn’t bear to let his anger go. 

He toyed with the idea of killing Naruto, but he couldn’t do it. Not out of any sentiment on his part, he tried to convince himself, but because he wore chakra inhibitors and was watched by Anbu all the time. He couldn’t kill him, but he would exact his revenge. The question was how? It didn’t matter how much he ignored Naruto, how many times he yelled at him. Naruto never gave up.

But then Naruto confessed his feelings for him, and he had felt a flare of excitement. Finally, something he could take advantage of. He wouldn’t kill Naruto, but he would break him.

So, they started dating. He needed to insure he bound Naruto even closer to him. The first few months, Sasuke acted like the perfect boyfriend. He didn’t insult Naruto (too much anyway), he went out of his way to spend time with him (except when he was too annoying and needed a break), he even cooked for him (because if he saw Naruto swallow one more bowl of ramen, he was going to be sick). It was surprisingly…fun…and comfortable… He almost started doubting himself.

But then, they started having sex. He wasn't a virgin. Life in the world of shinobi was too harsh and transient – sex was a great stress reliever and made a person feel alive. Male or female, it didn’t matter. Civilians may have cared about that sort of distinction, but ninjas took advantage of who they could while they were on missions. 

Sex with Naruto was more than he bargained for. It was rough, sometimes resembling a battle more than anything else, and mind blowing and filled with more passion than he had ever experienced before. 

It made him even angrier. 

All he had left of his original goals was to revive the Uchiha clan. And being with Naruto was spoiling him for even that. Irrationally he thought, _Naruto has taken everything away from me._ He began to refuse to have sex unless Naruto begged him. It made him feel powerful, even when he felt at his weakest for wanting Naruto.

After they moved in together, he began to chip away at Naruto’s self confidence, belittling everything about him. He acted cold one minute, almost kind the next. There was never a pattern to his behavior, so Naruto could never relax or anticipate his actions. He wanted Naruto to feel anxious and uncertain, to doubt himself. He needed Naruto to feel as empty as he did, as alone and worthless. 

Initially, it all seemed to go according to plan. Naruto was obviously affected by his criticisms. He got rid of the orange clothes, ate less, stopped going out with his friends. He started to act anxiously all the time, being stiff even when Sasuke was gentle. And if Sasuke started to miss his loud, obnoxious friend, he hid it even from himself.

But then Sasuke began to suspect Naruto wasn’t quite as troubled as he seemed. Once or twice he would catch an almost peaceful, resigned expression on Naruto’s face, and it further enraged him. It drove him to higher extremes because that was not according to the plan!

And so, he went to Sakura. He lied to her, told her he loved Naruto, but that he was unhappy. Naruto could not have his children. His goal to revive his clan wouldn’t happen. He spent weeks talking to her, playing on her love for him and friendship with Naruto, spinning a tale where he would be forced to leave Naruto. She thought that was the reason Naruto had been so sad recently. In the end, she was the one to offer to act as surrogate mother for the two of them. 

He waited until a day when he knew Naruto was coming back on a mission. He summoned a lesser snake and left it by the gates, instructing it to inform him when Naruto returned. He told Sakura he wanted to take her up on her kind offer to help the two of them.

He felt slightly guilty using her this way, but he rationalized it. She had always loved him. Maybe after all this was over, he would actually choose her to be the mother of his sons. 

When the time came, he made sure Sakura enjoyed it. She was confused at first by his response but eventually was swept away with passion. 

When Naruto barged through the door and saw them, he had expected to feel triumph, satisfaction at the very least. And there was some of that, true. But the longer Naruto stared at him, his emotions playing across his open face, the more uncomfortable he became. He hadn’t expected to feel this hollowness…or the regret...and he didn’t like it. So he lashed out.

“Hn, dobe, if you’re just going to stare, I’ve got better things to do.” _Like Sakura._

Naruto didn’t respond, and for a second, Sasuke wondered if he had even heard him. But even as he waited, he realized Naruto was in shock, and he watched in morbid fascination as those eyes dulled, the ever present sparkly finally dimming. And for one second, dead, blue eyes looked at him in full comprehension of everything he had done. Then Naruto was gone.

\-----------------  
Sakura hadn’t understood at first why he hadn’t run after Naruto. She was an intelligent woman, however. When she fully realized how he had manipulated them both, she had pulled back her fist and let fly.

He hadn’t bothered to dodge the blow. He knew he deserved it. Even in her anger, she took him to the hospital, although she refused to heal him herself. It took him days to recover fully. 

When he had gotten out, he had returned to his house and was surprised to realize Naruto had never returned. All his possessions were still there. At first, he had been pleased, believing Naruto had gone to stay with someone else, too broken to come back for his things. He had taken all of Naruto’s things and thrown them outside in a pile. He didn’t need to keep the pretense up of a relationship anymore.

Days passed, and still Naruto didn’t come back. Sasuke was trying to decide if he wanted to use a fire jutsu to burn Naruto’s things when a messenger bird came from Tsunade. Naruto was needed for a mission and couldn’t be found. Did Sasuke know where he was?

And so the search began. Naruto had been missing for almost 10 days. No one in the village had seen him. After he had run out, Sakura had been too embarrassed to look for him, Sasuke hadn’t cared and no one else had even suspected he was missing. By the time Tsunade had noticed he was gone, any possible leads had disappeared.

And for the first time in a long time, Sasuke started to worry. Where was the dobe? What the hell was he thinking going off without telling anyone? What if the Akatsuki captured him?

Sasuke told Tsunade he and Naruto had fought and broken up, although he didn’t go into details. After another week had passed, she forced more information from him. Afterwards, he didn’t let her strike him as he had Sakura. In the state she was in, she would have killed him. He avoided her for a long time after that.

No one suspected Naruto of actually deserting the village. Everyone assumed he had run away for a while in reaction to Sasuke’s betrayal after it became public knowledge (Sasuke and Sakura became pariahs among the other ninjas for quite some time). But everyone knew he would never leave Konoha – his bonds to the village were too strong. But as more time passed and no word was heard from him, people began to wonder. Messages went out to Gaara and his other known friends outside the village, but no one had seen him.

Then the necklace arrived. And there was no longer any doubt.

\------------------  
Naruto had been gone for five years, and everything was different now. No one spoke of him anymore, or if they did, it wasn’t in front of Tsunade, Iruka or any of the old members of Team 7. Sasuke had proven himself over the past five years, he was a Captain of the Anbu now, and while he would not call any other ninja a close friend, they had come to accept him again. Even Sakura and Tsunade had forgiven him. It had taken a long time, true, but it had happened. Unfortunately, the only person’s forgiveness he actually wanted had disappeared long ago.

It had been five years since Naruto left him. Five years alone. He had tried to date again, to find someone to restart his clan, but he found he compared everyone to Naruto, and no one could measure up to the dobe. One more goal Naruto had taken from him, but it didn’t matter anymore. He had given up all his anger long ago. 

Even after everyone realized Naruto was truly gone, he had clung to remnants of his hurt and animosity. He was shocked just like everyone else that Naruto had become a missing-nin. If by some miracle a missing-nin rejoined the village, he could never be Hokage, no matter how powerful he became. Naruto had willingly abandoned his dream, and it had confused Sasuke to no end. 

Nothing and no one had ever made him hesitate in pursuit of his dream to kill Itachi. Circumstances had stolen that dream from him, but he would never have willingly given it up. But Naruto had walked away from his dream to become Hokage, and why? Because of Sasuke? Because Sasuke had broken his heart? Had Naruto been in love with him? 

Tendrils of guilt which had been worming their way through his conscience for the past several months flared to life. 

He hadn’t begun all this with an end goal in mind, just the need for revenge. It was unlike him to think past the moment, but he never had a future in mind when he would think, “That’s enough.” He had been hurting, and he wanted Naruto to hurt as much, if not more, than he did. Events just kept falling into place that let him escalate that pain. And when it seemed that Naruto wasn’t affected as much as Sasuke thought he should be, he had to take it that one step further. 

It made him wonder. If Naruto had come back that day, would he have been satisfied? Would the humiliation and pain from his affair have been enough? Or would he have continued to hurt Naruto, seeking more ways to break him down? He still didn’t know the answer to that.

But now the situation was out of his control. Naruto was gone, and there was nothing more he could do. He had wanted to break Naruto, and it seemed like he accomplished that. 

He didn’t know why, but almost a year after Naruto left, a year of false leads and fading hope, it finally hit him that Naruto was never coming back. He wouldn’t be there to pester Sasuke to talk or smile. He wouldn’t be there to challenge Sasuke to a spar, forcing him to get stronger. He wouldn’t be there to liven up Sasuke’s too silent house. And for the first time he stopped to wonder, who was really broken?

So now, five years later, all he wanted was to find his dobe and bring him back. He wanted another chance to see where their relationship could have gone if he hadn’t messed it up. And he wanted Naruto to look at him with his clear blue eyes full of laughter and life and tell him he loved him.


	4. Chapter 4

Sasuke performed an elaborate henge before arriving at the village of Imba. There were several layers involved in order to avoid detection. 

The first was an illusion that masked his chakra level, making them appear about half of what he really possessed. He was going in as a missing-nin (the Land of Rain was filled with them after all) but a ninja at his power level would attract immediate attention. Although the raven would be masking his chakra the whole time, if he were attacked or something were to happen that would make him lose control, the illusion would hide how much chakra he had available. 

The second layer of the henge changed in his appearance. Gone were his black hair and eyes. In their place were long, shaggy dark brown hair and flinty hazel eyes. His face and body structure changed as well, becoming thicker and less elegant, although still lean and hard. A long scar ran down the right side of his face from temple to chin. His curse seal disappeared and various tattoos marked his neck and arms. Several earrings lined his left ear. His sleeveless shirt and long pants were plain cotton. He had already disposed of the mission scroll, so the only things in his pack were a change of clothes, food, a survival kit, various jutsu scrolls and more weapons.

The last layer involved another physical genjutsu. His hair was black again, and his eyes were a dark brown. His features broadened, becoming plainer. His clothes were simple, dusty but clean, and frayed with age. He looked like a nondescript commoner, one more refugee lost in the crowd. While a simple “Kai” would get rid of this layer of illusion, something more involved would be required to reveal anything further. This disguise, however, was meant to be noticed. He needed to know who the leader of the army was after all, and what better way to find out than to be recruited? His heart beat faster at the thought. Would he finally be able to see Naruto after all this time?

The only problem with his disguise was the Sharingan. If he activated it, it would show through both layers of genjutsu obscuring his features. Too many ninja knew about the Uchiha’s bloodline limit, and it would be a dead giveaway if he used it. If Naruto weren’t actually here, the situation would be extremely dangerous as he infiltrated the enemy’s ranks. 

He chuckled mirthlessly. Truthfully, it could be more dangerous if Naruto _were_ here. What would Naruto do when he saw the raven? Hit him? Yell at him? _Hold him?_ he thought wistfully. _Tch_ , he sneered inwardly. _Stop worrying about things you can’t control. You are here to complete a mission. Get on with it._ But he could not keep himself from hoping the dobe really was here.

\---------------

As Sasuke walked by the entrance to the village in the early hours of the morning, he noticed two guards attempting to blend in with the locals. Although they wore plain clothes and had no visible weapons, they could not hide the alertness in their gazes or stances from a ninja of his caliber. The village of Imba was large but poor, however someone was obviously expending resources to protect it. 

The guards didn’t challenge the raven, barely seemed to notice him, but he would bet money they could describe him from memory now. Although he had noticed them, he doubted many others would. _Interesting._

He looked around as he walked down the main lane. So close to the Land of Rain, the village of Imba suffered the great country’s fate of serving as a battleground for warring factions. He could see signs of damage on the buildings and the countryside, scorch marks and faint remnants of dyed-in blood. Surprisingly though, he could also see signs of repair and growth. The village was in better condition than he had expected. 

The villagers were happier than he would have thought as well. There were definitely a few missing-nin roaming around, and while the locals avoided the obvious ninja for the most part, they didn’t show any outright fear at their presence. And although there were only a small number of markets open, with limited inventory, things looked cared for. The people seemed more carefree than they should be considering. Tsunade’s sources were right. Someone was watching over this village, providing ninja for protection and money for rebuilding.

The first order of business was finding lodging. He located a decent-looking inn across the street from a market. Sasuke secured a room on the top floor of the three-story building and noticed his room looked directly into a room across the way, both of them lacking curtains. He mentally shrugged. While the lack of privacy was annoying, the room was clean and would suit his purposes for now. The inn was one of the taller buildings in the town, and it would allow him to watch the main intersection and the neighboring structures.

He didn’t know how long the reconnaissance would take, so the next order of business was finding a job. A war refugee would need money, and it would give him the opportunity to ask questions. He decided to get some food and then look around.

The Uchiha’s first stop was the kitchen on the first floor of the inn where he was able to get a few onigiri to munch on as he walked. As he stepped outside, he decided to visit the grocery across the way. He had been living on dried provisions for the most part during the long trip here, and he wanted to buy a few pieces of fresh fruit. 

As he dipped his head to enter the market, he almost tripped over a boy, no older than five, laughing and running around from his mother. The harried woman murmured a quick apology to him as she chased after her son, and he barely held back his scowl at the disturbance. 

“Hey, don’t be so rude, mister! You’ll scare away the rest of our customers.”

Sasuke turned and glared at the obnoxious attendant standing next to the eggplants. A tall teenaged boy with spiky black hair and light brown eyes was glaring right back at him. The boy was wearing a long apron over his clothes and was in the middle of restocking the produce. Surprisingly, the boy didn’t seem cowed by his expression, but maybe it was the henge ruining his trademark glare, the raven thought with annoyance.

“Parents should keep their children in line,” he said. At five, he wouldn’t have dreamed of making a disturbance in public and embarrassing his mother.

“Che, kids should be able to run around and have fun! Stop being such a teme,” the boy retorted sharply.

Sasuke ignored him and walked towards the fruit, but couldn’t stop the pang in his heart from his words. They made him think of Naruto. Irritated by the reminder of things he didn’t have, he plucked a grape and flicked it at the teenager’s head with deadly accuracy, now turned away from him. 

The attendant chose that exact moment to bend over the pick up more eggplants from a box on the ground, and the grape sailed past his head, just barely missing his ear. The raven blinked at the luck and plucked another piece of ammunition. 

This time the teenager turned to yell at a person in the back for more cabbages, and the grape aimed for his back splattered against an eggplant in the display instead. 

Sasuke’s eye twitched. He grabbed two grapes this time and shot them both, one after the other. He nearly growled as one flew past the teenager’s chest and the other past his back as the boy turned sideways in order to address a customer who had come up to ask a question.

The once-proud Uchiha was reaching for another grape when the five year old came running back through the store, once again being trailed by his mother. Sasuke straightened up and decided to forego the fruit after all. Apparently thoughts of Naruto were making him crazy, so much so that he was lowering himself to the dobe’s level. 

He left the store to start his job search, not noticing a pair of brown eyes watching him go.

\----------------------

Two days later, Sasuke was still unemployed. While the villagers were kind enough, they were very close-mouthed, and time after time, he was told there were no positions available. He had even asked at the market where he had met the annoying teenager (who was luckily absent at the time), but the woman there had said they didn’t need any extra help. It was to be expected after all; they had good reason to be suspicious of new people. It was getting frustrating, however. He didn’t spend much per day, but it would be noticeable if he had a never-ending supply of money. He needed a cover to be able to stay in town.

While he hadn’t found out any new information, he had noticed during his survey that there was one building that was very suspicious. Guards stood just inside the doorway, barely visible to the passersby, and he never saw anyone, not even locals, go inside. It looked like he would have to wait until nightfall to scout it out.

\----------------------------

Later that night, Sasuke sat atop a roof a block down from the mystery building. He had been watching the other structure for two hours now, but there was no sign of life inside. He could, however, see the silhouettes of two shinobi on the roof. The raven knew he could dispose of them easily, but he didn’t want to kill them and bring down the wrath of the army on his head. He would have to get in unseen. Harder to do, but still not difficult.

During his surveillance earlier, he hadn’t seen any guards patrolling the outside of the structure. Silently he sidled up to the wall and, pushing chakra into his hands and feet, climbed up the back of the building. Casting a genjutsu on the two ninja on the roof so they wouldn’t see him, the Uchiha crawled into a room he knew was empty. 

Twenty minutes later, he had explored nearly the whole building and hadn’t found anything. What were they guarding here? Other than the two guards on the roof and the two guards near the front door, no one else was in the building. Something wasn’t right. 

He slipped back out the way he had come in. The two guards were still walking around the roof, but the genjutsu was holding. He would come back another night. Maybe there would be more happening then.

Suddenly, a loud whistle broke the night silence, and he could hear shouts of “Intruder!” _Shit._ Somehow he had been spotted. Sasuke abandoned stealth for speed, jumping from rooftop to rooftop, several shinobi following in pursuit. 

He couldn’t take them back to the inn, obviously, so he ran for the fields surrounding the village. Three additional ninja popped up in front of him just as he left the outskirts of the town. They all wore the baggy, long sleeved shirt, pants and scarf of Rain ninja. He performed a shadow clone jutsu and, with his two clones, used taijutsu to fell his opponents. He was careful to not hurt anyone too seriously. Unfortunately, that gave his pursuers enough time to catch up. 

He looked around quickly. Seven against one. Not terrible odds, but it was a fine line between using enough skill to impress them and hopefully get taken to the leader, and using too much and being found out for a spy. He didn’t want to perform any of his signature moves, but luckily, the Sharingan had let him copy several of the jutsu he had encountered over his lifetime. 

He jumped out of the way as a flurry of shuriken and kunai flew at him from all sides. One clone was hit, too close to one of the attackers to get out of the way in time. The raven performed the hand signs for a poison gas jutsu midair and blew out a fast stream of gas at three of the ninja to his right. The gas wouldn’t kill anyone, but it would make them very, very sick. Two of the ninja were hit, but one was able to get out of the way in time. Five left.

Two of his assailants were busy attacking his shadow clone. He was dimly conscious of rapid hand and foot strikes being dodged before two of the remaining ninja came at him on either side. He cursed as he noticed the last ninja heading back to the village, but he wasn’t able to stop him. 

A rapid series of attacks came at him, but he easily avoided them. He tilted his head to the side to avoid an elbow coming toward his face, grabbed the offending arm and rolled, throwing the ninja behind him. The Uchiha was back on his feet in a second, narrowly dodging a heel kick to where his head used to be. He jumped over a leg sweep, aiming a kick at the other’s chest. It didn’t connect but the ninja was off balance long enough for his fingers to strike the other’s throat. He pulled the hit so it didn’t break his windpipe, but it did leave the man rolling on the ground, clutching his neck.

He felt his shadow clone disappear, having taken care of one shinobi, and now his two remaining attackers both focused on him. One ninja performed a quick jutsu as Sasuke ran towards them, and he felt a flare of chakra right before a heavy fog started rolling in rapidly. It tingled against his skin for a second, but the feeling quickly disappeared. The fog cover was too late to hide the two men, however, and the raven whipped out his katana. 

The fight was taking too much time, and the ninja who had run back to get reinforcements would be back soon. He didn’t trust that in the heat of battle, especially after seeing all their fallen comrades, the Rain ninja would stop themselves from using deadly force. One quick slash with the dull side of the blade, and both men were down.

Just as Sasuke turned to leave, he staggered, nearly falling to the ground. _What the hell_ , he thought, looking around sharply. It was only by force of will that he didn’t activate the Sharingan. The fog was slowly dissipating now that the jutsu wielder had fallen, and he could barely make out three figures surrounding him, several yards away. Each one had his hands clasped together, and the raven realized they were performing some kind of jutsu. He hadn’t felt any chakra surges, and he dimly wondered if the fog was responsible for hiding them. He tried to raise his sword arm and was distantly surprised to note he had somehow dropped his katana. 

He felt his first henge dissolve, and he cursed mentally as he realized the enemy jutsu was absorbing his chakra. No wonder he felt so weak all of the sudden. He convulsed as he felt the second layer of the henge broke apart. As the Uchiha was blacking out, he saw a figure walking towards him. The last thing he heard was his name.

_“Sasuke?”_


	5. Chapter 5

When Sasuke came to, he was lying on a hard bed in a dark, unfamiliar room. His mind was slightly foggy, and he couldn’t remember exactly how he had gotten in this position. He vaguely recalled fighting the Rain ninja, but then things became blurry.

Not wanting to broadcast his change in consciousness in case someone else was in the room, he kept his breathing unvaried and lay still. The Uchiha couldn’t detect a chakra signature or hear anyone else breathing, but that didn’t mean someone wasn’t there. He performed a quick check, and realized his hands were bound together, most likely with chakra suppressing chains. He had a dull headache, and his body was sore, but those were probably aftereffects of the chakra drain. Other than that, he didn’t notice any extra bruises or additional restraints. It looked like the Rain ninja had captured him, and judging by his physical condition, they weren’t planning on killing him…yet. 

The raven cautiously tried to access his chakra but wasn’t surprised when it was out of reach. Okay, he was enough of a taijutsu master to escape without chakra as long as he could get his bearings and formulate a plan. It was always best to be prepared in case things went wrong.

He controlled a twitch when a loud snort resonated through the room.

“Stop pretending to be unconscious, teme. It’s sooooo boring watching you sleep, and I swear your snoring has gotten louder.”

Sasuke’s head snapped to the side, the previous day’s events rushing back to him, hearing his name just as he was blacking out, and his eyes grew wide at the sight of the person sitting in the chair before him, arms resting on his thighs. Naruto…Naruto…Naruto… The Uchiha’s heart was pounding so fast his chest hurt, beating to the sound of the other man’s name.

The blond had changed. Gone was the short, slightly awkward, gently rounded boy who had chased after the raven for years. Illuminated by a single candle was a tall, poised, lean man who radiated confidence. 

Naruto had been a late bloomer, and five years ago before he had left, he had still been shorter than his peers. Now, Sasuke estimated, although shorter than his own 6’1”, Naruto was probably a good 5’11” maybe 6’. His hair was still the same bright yellow, but it was streaked with auburn highlights and lay long against his neck, brushing his shoulders. He had finally lost the baby fat, and the hard angles of his face showed off his strong jaw line. His body rippled with muscle as he shifted in the chair, allowing the silent perusal. Although he wore the typical baggy pants of the Rain ninja, instead of the loose shirt, flak jacket and long scarf, he wore a tight, sleeveless, v-neck top that hugged his strong chest and lean stomach and a long belt that wrapped around his waist and then looped down along both hips. And his eyes, those brilliant blue eyes that had always ensnared Sasuke, were, if possible, an even deeper blue than before. The only problem was that in contrast to Naruto’s light tone, they were emotionless and closed off, so unlike the way the dobe used to be.

Sasuke sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and resting his bound arms on his legs. He responded automatically, “I don’t snore, dobe. If I recall correctly, you were the one whose neighbors threatened to kick out if you kept them awake one more night.”

Naruto’s shoulders relaxed, and a small smile played over his lips as they fell back into the playful insult-filled banter they had shared 11 years ago. He leaned back, and let his body slump down in the chair, arms waving to emphasize his indignation.

“That wasn’t my fault! Those walls were paper thin! I could even hear the old geezer taking a piss three times a night. It was hell on my beauty rest.” He batted his eyelashes playfully.

The Uchiha scoffed. “Che, like more sleep would have improved _your_ looks.” 

“Teme!”

“Dobe.”

“Duck-butt head!”

“Usuratonkachi.”

It was all so familiar, and Sasuke let himself enjoy the flow of insults for as long as it would last.

Eventually, however, an uncomfortable silence ensued, and although the raven didn’t let it show outwardly, he felt nervous. He didn’t know what to say. Naruto had always carried the conversation, and the Uchiha had only gotten more reserved over the past five years. He wanted to talk to the blond, apologize, say something, but he didn’t know how to initiate the conversation. And Naruto had changed so much physically. What else was different about him? 

“Why are you here, Sasuke?” Naruto looked away from the raven. Apparently, he wasn’t the only nervous one there.

“Why are _you_ here, Naruto?” he asked back, curious how the blond had made his way to Imba, so close to Pein’s former headquarters. 

“Oi, don’t avoid the question!” Goofy Naruto was back, using silliness to hide his anxiety. He straightened and pointed at the Uchiha’s manacled hands, saying, “This is a serious interrogation. You’re my prisoner, so start acting like it!”

And Sasuke couldn't control the tiny smirk that graced his features. This at least hadn't changed. Naruto was the only person who could affect him this strongly and get him to smile, forcing him to hope that maybe things could go back to the way they once were. 

"What does that mean, dobe? I should start attacking you and trying to escape? Or refuse to talk to you at all, even under pain of torture? Or perhaps I should-"

The blond stuck out his tongue at the Uchiha, huffed and folded his arms. He sulked in his chair, and Sasuke felt a pang in his heart so fierce, he wanted to clutch his chest. Everything was so familiar. Naruto was acting as if no time had gone by, as if all the painful years and betrayals were a dream and not the harsh reality that threatened to intrude at any second. As if he could still love Sasuke, as if the raven were still worthy of love. And although the Uchiha had faced so many horrors in his life that his nights were often filled with nightmares, nothing seemed more frightening to him at the moment than the thought of finding out just how Naruto felt about him. Because he had lived with the hope of finding the blond for years now, finding him...finding forgiveness...finding love. They were all one and the same in his mind. And if Naruto rejected him, he didn't know what he would do.

So he answered Naruto's question in order to push that moment of truth away just a little longer, to let himself pretend for a few minutes more.

"Tsunade sent me. I think she knew you were here.” And he would have a lot to say to her about not warning him when he got back. “She wanted me to investigate news of an army amassing in the area. Any social and political stability that Pein imposed completely vanished after his death, and some of the neighboring great countries want to keep it that way. They didn't like having to negotiate with Pein to conduct their wars, and they don't want someone else taking his place."

Naruto gave a short bark of laughter. "Of course not. Why bother talking to the people who actually live in the area where you're fighting? It's not like they would care or anything." The shorter man rubbed his face and sighed. "Do you know how many times last year this village was attacked? Six times. Six! Because an army needed food or "entertainment," or some hidden village was looking for a missing-nin, or we were just in the way!" His voice lowered. "No one cares about this place."

Sasuke knew Naruto was thinking of his own past when the villagers had ignored him, hated him for being the carrier of the demon fox. Part of him wanted to get up and comfort the blond, but the rest wanted to hear his story more.

Naruto lowered his head, his bangs hiding his eyes, and looked at the ground thoughtfully. Still in that same quiet voice, he said, "After I left Konoha, I wandered around for a few years doing odd jobs, occasionally meeting up with other missing-nin and trading jutsu..." He snorted. "Unless we were trying to kill each other, of course. I met a few people who were nice enough to help out a random stranger, but mostly, people kept to themselves. I never stayed in one place longer than a few months, and if I ever saw a Leaf or Sand hitai-ate, I hightailed it out of there right away. Blond hair, blue eyes and whisker marks are kinda obvious, so I used a henge all the time. It was...a very lonely time." 

Sasuke's eyes narrowed at the remembered pain in his voice. 

"It's not like I had any family to turn to, and I couldn't go to any of my old friends - they were all Konoha allies. And I wasn't willing to steal and kill like other missing-nin. So...times were tough. Once or twice I had a near brush with an Akatsuki member." 

The raven looked at him sharply. 

"I almost didn't make it that last time. I had run out of money a while back, and I was living off of what I could catch and sleeping in the woods. I was hungry and so damn tired. Luckily, there was only one of 'em – that Venus flytrap guy. I don't know where his partner was, but if there had been two of them... Afterwards, I crawled away and barely made it to the road. I must’ve laid there for hours. I kept blacking out, and Kyuubi wasn't healing me." 

The Uchiha’s heart pounded. He knew that meant Naruto had been at death's door if even the demon fox's chakra had been depleted. 

"And finally, an old man came." Sasuke could hear the affection in his voice. 

"He took me to his daughter's house and nursed me back to health. No one's ever done something like that for me before." He waved his arm. "Sure, sure Sakura and baa-chan healed me, but this guy didn't even know me. I was covered in blood. He told me later my eyes were still red, and I had claws instead of hands, but he didn't care. After I got better, I told them about Kyuubi, and they still didn't care." His voice took on a tone of wonderment. "He asked me later if I wanted to come with him back to his village, back to Imba. I've been here ever since." 

Naruto's voice turned hard. "Right after I got here, Akatsuki was wiped out. I didn’t have to worry about hiding from them anymore, and there was no reason Konoha ninja would come to the area. I could finally relax. I didn’t know Pein was keeping it safe here. I helped out by working in the old man’s grocery store and trained in my spare time. A year after I got here, he asked me to deliver some food to a nearby town that was hit pretty hard by some missing-nin. When I got back, Takao-san was dead. Those same ninja had decided to have some more fun and came here, scaring all the villagers. They were going to kidnap a young girl. He stood up to them. I got back in time to see them putting his body up on a fence as a sign to others." Red eyes turned to Sasuke. "It took them a long time to die."

The blond stood up, power radiating from him. He walked over to the raven and unlocked his manacles. "No one else cared about this village or this area. No one cared about the people and the lives they were destroying. Imba is right in no-man’s land. It’s not really a part of Rain Country, but none of the other countries claim it either. Unless the daimyo of Rain Country tries to help out. Then there’s a huge fuss. They don’t want it, but they don’t want him to have it either.” 

Sasuke shook off the manacles and felt his chakra channels gradually reopen. He held out the chains to Naruto who took them.

“The daimyo tries to be a good man. Turns out he was some sort of cousin to Takao-san, like 20 times removed, but they liked each other. He came here once and tried to get him to go back with him, but the old man was a stubborn son-of-a-bitch. Said he was born here and planned to die here.” 

Naruto’s grin faltered. “The daimyo was pissed off when Takao-san died, but there wasn’t anything he could do. He’s the daimyo of a small, poor country and spends most of his time trying to keep everyone else out. He can’t do much, but that works out to my advantage. He always looks the other way when the other countries are demanding my head.”

The blond dropped the manacles on the table next to where he had been sitting and turned to go. “No one cared about us before. But I am here now, and I will protect them, even at the cost of my own life. Go back and report to Tsunade, Sasuke. There’s nothing else for you to find out.”

Just then there was a knock at the door, breaking through the raven’s daze at hearing the events of the past five years of Naruto’s life. The younger man opened the door, and a tall brunette walked in. He wore the typical Rain ninja garb, but he was far from ordinary. Objectively, Sasuke had to admit he was probably one of the most beautiful men he had ever seen. He was almost feminine in his beauty like Haku had been, with delicate features and long black hair flowing down his back, but his piercing grey eyes and thin, stern lips kept him from crossing that line.

The Uchiha couldn’t hear what the man was murmuring to Naruto, but his hands clenched in rage at the way he leaned in so close to the blond, one hand behind the shorter man’s neck and his lips whispering intimately into the dobe’s ear. 

By the time the brunette had finally pulled away from Naruto, Sasuke was seeing red. It didn’t help when the other man looked at him and smirked, gently pressing a kiss to the blond’s temple before turning and leaving. The raven noticed Naruto didn’t shy away from the obvious show of affection.

“Please tell-“ 

“Who the fuck was that?” Sasuke couldn’t help but snarl. He stood up, hands fisted by his sides.

Naruto looked at him, surprised by the angry tone. “Shin? He’s a friend of mine, an awesome genjutsu master from-“

“And how many _friends_ do you have, Usurantonkachi?” The blond didn’t explode at the implied insult like he would have done five years ago. He looked levelly at Sasuke and closed the door before shrugging. 

“I have lots of friends, Sasuke. Some of them are friendlier than others. What do you care?”

“Are you sleeping with him?” The raven stalked across the room until he was just a few feet away from the blond, staring into cerulean eyes. He had never been this angry before. In all the years that the younger man had been gone, the raven had never thought Naruto would be with someone else. Hadn’t the blond told him he would never let him go? That he wouldn’t give up on Sasuke, no matter what? 

Even after Naruto had abandoned Konoha, the Uchiha had just assumed he would be celibate. After all, unlike most ninja, Naruto had only slept with one partner, Sasuke. He had been too uncertain and conscious of the bijuu locked inside him to open himself up to anyone else. But it looked like Naruto had gotten over that problem, and it broke something in Sasuke to know the dobe was sleeping with that Shin character. Was he in love with Shin? The Uchiha tried and failed to ignore the pain and jealousy from that thought.

“That’s none of your business, Sasuke. You gave up your right to know that information a long time ago.” Naruto was looking at him, unconcerned with the raven’s rising temper. He was so abnormally calm! It was as if none of this mattered to him, as if Sasuke didn’t matter! 

The Uchiha didn’t know what to do. Their positions were horribly reversed, with Naruto calm and collected and Sasuke upset and on edge. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to be! Where was his Naruto, his wonderfully hyperactive, loud, open dobe? This…stranger…confused him. 

“So what, this is revenge then for fucking Sakura?” Internally, Sasuke was horrified. He knew he needed to stop. He hadn’t meant to bring up Sakura and the affair that had finally pushed Naruto to leave, but he couldn’t help lashing out.

But the blond just shook his head. “Revenge? Why would I want revenge? That was five years ago, Sasuke. We got together, it didn’t work, we broke up. Sure, I wish things could’ve ended better, but…” He shrugged again. “It’s almost like Neji used to say - it just wasn’t meant to be. I got over it a long time ago and moved on.”

He looked at the raven curiously. “Does it still bother you? Feel guilty or something?” Naruto smirked. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t. I hope you and Sakura are happ-“

Sasuke wanted to smash his face in for that smirk. How dare Naruto take his feelings lightly? “There’s nothing going on between Sakura and me,” he hissed. 

Naruto scratched the back of his head. “Well, I’m sorry you two didn’t work out then – “

Sasuke exploded. Why the _hell_ was the dobe so fucking _calm_ about everything! “It was never about Sakura! It was always about you, Naruto, you and me!” He grabbed the blond’s shirt and pulled him close, their faces inches away, one of Naruto’s hands clutching his wrist. He was enraged by the lack of emotion in the shorter man’s eyes. 

His voice was low, but the passion in them surprised the both of them. “Stop acting like you don’t care, like you’ve forgotten me! I know all about your masks, dobe. Underneath all your smiles and stupid jokes, you’ve always hidden your real feelings. You may have changed the mask you wear, but you’re still the same inside. You would never stop caring for your friends and that means you never stopped wanting me.” Sasuke kept the uncertainty out of his voice. 

“I don’t care if you’re the fucking leader of some rag-tag bunch of ninja. You’re a shinobi of the Hidden Village of the Leaf, and you’re coming back to Konoha with me, just like you dragged me back. I’ve finally found you, and you’re not getting away again!”

“You’re wrong, Sasuke.” The raven hated the blank eyes staring at him. “There are no more masks. Of course I haven’t forgotten Konoha or all the people there, but that’s my past now. You’re my past now, and I don’t want you anymore.”

Sasuke almost stumbled back at the younger man’s words. No…no… Naruto couldn’t really mean what he said. He had to be lying…he had to be. 

“I am not going to let you brush me off, dobe,” Sasuke tightened his grip on Naruto’s shirt, faces close together. “I fucked up. I admit it. But you’re wrong if you think I’m just going to let you walk away from me again. You’re mine. You’ve always been mine, and if I have to kick your ass a hundred times to make you understand that fact, I will.” He pulled Naruto closer, lips moving harshly over his, tongue probing.

Naruto allowed it for one second, not returning the kiss but standing quiescent in his arms, before pushing him back. His eyes were aloof, although there was a hint of sadness in them. Sasuke reached for him again, so intent on making the blond respond to his touch that he was caught by surprise when Naruto grabbed his arms and spun him, neatly trapping the Uchiha against his chest with his arms firmly in the dobe’s grasp.

Naruto said calmly against the raven’s neck, “I shouldn’t have let you do that.” 

Sasuke stilled the shiver the quiet words evoked. He felt the blond’s lips curl into a small smile and the deep chuckle against his back. “You’re still the sexiest guy I’ve ever seen.” Naruto’s smile slowly disappeared. “But I don’t feel that way for you anymore, Sasuke. And it’s not worth starting all our fucked up shit again. You were my most precious person, and I will always cherish that. But I have other precious people now that mean more to me than the past, and I will protect them. Go back to Konoha. Tell baa-chan whatever you want – I don’t care. But the next time a Konoha ninja comes here, I will take it as a sign of war. And I won’t hesitate to kill him – whoever he is.”

Naruto released him and walked out the door, closing it softly behind him. Sasuke stood in the room alone, hands clenched and head down. He stood there for a very long time.


	6. Chapter 6

Naruto sat on his bed, his head cradled in his arms. His meeting with Sasuke had taken a lot out of him. Acting indifferent towards the bastard had been much harder than he'd anticipated. Even after all this time, seeing the raven still made his heart pound. And when the older man had kissed him…it had taken all of his self-control to keep from kissing him back. But he had been telling the truth to Sasuke. He didn’t want to fall back into that destructive relationship again. Sure the Uchiha seemed to want him now, but how long would that last? They were like the sun and the moon, always chasing each other but never meant to be together. 

He had other people he cared for now. He had put his painful past behind him and found acceptance in the village of Imba. Sasuke was a remnant of that past, and once he left, Naruto would be able to forget about it once again.

The blond fell back and lay fully on the bed. He chuckled darkly, remembering seeing Sasuke fall to the ground after battling the Rain ninja. Pseudo-Rain ninja anyway. With all the missing-nin in the area, those he had gathered together had agreed to all wear the same uniform in order to keep confusion down, but many of them still wore their own villages’ slashed hitai-ate. 

Many of the real Rain ninja had been killed along with Pein, and now there wasn’t a strong leader to take his place. The hidden village was lead by its Council of Elders right now, and his relationship with them was a very odd one. They worked with him, but he had refused to move into the village itself, keeping his base of operations out of Imba. They knew about the bijuu inside of him, and they still wanted him to become the Hidden Rain’s new leader. Talk about screwed up. 

Technically, they hadn’t asked, and so technically, he hadn’t refused yet, but Naruto was no longer the clueless and oblivious blond he had been before. He had already started apprenticing under Tsunade before leaving Konoha, and his experiences in the past five years had only made him grow and mature faster. He knew how to play the political games now, and while he had kept the Council at bay for a while, they would want a real answer from him eventually. 

He didn’t know why he wasn’t jumping at the chance, but something in him didn’t want to take this final step from the Leaf Village. 

He knew part of the reason Hidden Rain wanted him was because of the number of supporters he was accumulating. Even though many of them were missing-nin, the sudden addition of so many shinobi would strengthen Rain. While it wasn’t normal to accept missing-nin into a village, it did happen occasionally. However, the Council’s indecision about adding so many foreign ninja might well be the reason they hadn’t outright asked him to take Pein’s place. The question of loyalty was a big one, and what was to stop the missing-nin from deserting another village? 

But they were actually very loyal to Naruto for whatever reason. He was friends with most of them, and they all seemed a little relieved to be able to call someplace home, tired of the constant running. And Rain was so weak now. The influx of ninja and range of jutsu would be incredible for the hidden village.

Naruto snickered. Some of those new ninja had been able to bring the Uchiha down flat on his ass. Served the fucker right. The three ninja were actually siblings, two men and one woman. Somehow, they were able to combine their chakra and create a type of void, sucking in their opponent’s chakra. 

Unfortunately, it was a limited jutsu. They had to stay very close to each other with their opponent in the center of them, so it could only be used on one or two people at a time. It also took a long time for them to synch up and start the draining process, thus the mist to hide them from Sasuke. And if the person were able to escape before the jutsu took effect, then it was pointless. But once the jutsu was under way, almost no one could break out. Naruto had put himself to the test, and he had managed to get away, but that was in large part to the huge amount of chakra he held. And even he had been exhausted afterwards. 

Seeing the raven after all this time had been a shock, but Naruto couldn’t deny the surge of satisfaction he felt at remembering Sasuke lying on the ground. It would have been sweeter to be the one to kick his ass, but the blond had arrived too late. Part of him still wanted to take the Uchiha outside and beat the living shit out of him. Maybe it was petty of him, but it’s not like the Uchiha was much better.

Naruto laughed outright, remembering Sasuke flicking grapes at him at the grocery store. The blond had been disguised as Takao-san’s grandson, no one paid attention to kids after all, and he hadn’t recognized the burly man who entered the store that day. He had felt the killer intent, however, and he had avoided the grapes as nonchalantly as possible, afraid to give himself away. Naruto had guessed the other guy was a missing-nin, but he would never have suspected the real person beneath the henge.

The Jinchuuriki sobered as his thoughts once again came full circle. Sasuke had acted so differently from the man he had left five years ago. That man had been full of bitterness and anger, but this one...this one had seemed full of passion and sincerity. 

_“I know all about your masks, dobe. Underneath all your smiles and stupid jokes, you’ve always hidden your real feelings. You may have changed the mask you wear, but you’re still the same inside. You would never stop caring for your friends and that means you never stopped wanting me… I’ve finally found you, and you’re not getting away again… You’re mine. You’ve always been mine…”_

He shivered. Sasuke had never spoken to him like that before. And he and Sakura weren't together? That had been a surprise.

The raven had asked him if this was about revenge. His lips twisted. Maybe the other man did know him enough to recognize a mask, but he obviously still didn’t understand Naruto. The blond didn’t hold grudges like that against people who had hurt him. He would kill someone who hurt one of his precious people, but if someone hurt _him_ , he forgave them quickly. Well, maybe not in this instance, but he didn’t hate the raven. Granted, given the opportunity, he would pound that smirking face into the ground, but cold, calculating revenge? That was one of the biggest differences between the two of them.

 _It doesn’t matter_ , he told himself. Sasuke would be gone tomorrow, and he could put the anger and hurt behind him once again. That's all he felt for the raven now. Okay, maybe a tiny, tiny bit of lust, too, but nothing else. He hadn’t been lying when he said Sasuke was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. But he had stopped loving the other man a long time ago.

\-------------------

He had been a fool, Sasuke decided as he calmly got ready for the day after a sleepless night. 

He had walked back to the inn yesterday in a painful daze. The raven had repacked his single bag and then sat on the bed, staring off into space. He didn’t know how long he had sat in the dark before he had burst out of the room, taking his katana and heading back to the field where he had fought earlier.

He was conscious of eyes watching him, but deciding they weren’t a threat, ignored them. The Konoha ninja didn’t need to hide anymore after all. 

For hours the Uchiha performed kata, whirling from one form to the next, going faster and faster with almost inhuman speed. His mind kept replaying over and over his confrontation with Naruto. Even without the Sharingan, he could recall ever facial expression, every gesture, every word in excruciating detail. 

Exhaustion finally setting in, his movements became less coordinated, jerky and rushed. The raven let out a harsh cry as he stumbled, falling to kneel on the cold, wet ground, chest heaving as he sucked in breath after breath. His mind seemed unnaturally focused, the physical workout having succeeded in calming his mental and emotional confusion. 

Sasuke realized he had been taken by surprise and had let the situation spiral out of his control. He had said things he shouldn’t have, done things he shouldn’t have, and that was why yesterday had ended so badly. 

He didn’t believe that Naruto didn’t care about him anymore. He refused to believe it.

The blond had had the upper hand from the very beginning. He had been able to mentally prepare himself while the raven was unconscious and put on a mask to hide behind. After five years of absence, Sasuke could be excused for being caught off guard when they suddenly met again.

But he had a plan today. The Uchiha smirked evilly. He would get his Naruto back, and no one, not the blond’s current lover - whom he would make sure was out of the picture very, very soon - not even the dobe himself, would stop him.

\----------------

Sasuke sauntered into the grocery store and, ignoring the occasional dreamy sigh he received from shopping women, waited for the explosion. Sure enough, the tall teenager he had encountered before did a double take when he entered before coming over and scowling at him. The Uchiha had put one and one together after talking to the blond, and he knew the boy who had skillfully dodged his fruit attacks had to be none other than his own dobe.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” the teenager hissed, pointing a finger at the raven’s chest. “I told you to go back to Konoha!”

“Oh, I’m going back, dobe, don’t worry - just as soon as you agree to come with me.” Sasuke smirked at the outraged expression on the younger man’s face.

 _“What!”_ he screeched and then blushed as every head in the store turned to look at the two of them. He turned beet red and scratched the back of his head. “Gomen, gomen…”

The brunet grabbed Sasuke’s arm and dragged him into the back room. He kept his voice low, whispering furiously, “I’m not going back, teme! I told you already that I have responsibilities here and people I care for, and if you think-.”

“Shouldn’t you let go of my arm now?” Sasuke interrupted. “Shin might get the wrong idea.” He pointedly lifted his arm which Naruto had forgotten to drop when they entered the room and was now gripping tightly in his frustration. 

The other man squeaked and dropped his arm like it was burning hot.

“And can you drop the henge?” the raven asked. “You look ridiculous, and it’s already hard enough taking you seriously.”

Naruto’s mouth opened and closed a few times before he made an odd growling noise through gritted teeth. With a _poof_ , he dispelled the henge, and blazing blue eyes glared up at the taller man. 

Much better. Ah, things were back to the way they should be; Naruto was off-balance and Sasuke was in control. 

“Why are you still here?” Each word was clipped, bitten off almost painfully. The raven wanted to smile in delight, but one: he didn’t do that, and two: Naruto probably would attack him. The blond was furious, and Sasuke loved to see the fire burning in those eyes, especially after their blankness from the day before.

“I’m taking a vacation,” Sasuke stated blandly, perfectly straight-faced.

“A _vacation_?” The raven barely kept from wincing. The younger man could shatter glass when his voice got that high. _“Here?”_

“Hn.”

Arms waved furiously in the air. “That’s the biggest pile of shit I’ve ever heard!”

“Usuratonkachi, you don’t hear piles of shit.”

Naruto jabbed a finger at his face viciously. _“You know what I mean!”_

“What?” the Uchiha asked innocently, shrugging. “I have a lot of time saved up.” That was actually a lie. He had used every free day he had over the past years looking for the blond.

“And you want to spend it in _Imba_?”

“The village is really quite lovely this time of year.” Sasuke couldn’t help the slight wince he made when he met Naruto’s incredulous gaze. Okay, maybe that last statement had been a bit over the top. 

“What about your mission?” the other man asked triumphantly.

“What about it? Tsunade-sama was worried about an army amassing in the area. It’s just you.” Sasuke waved a hand in the air negligently. “No reason to be concerned.” Besides, he had sent her an encrypted message that morning explaining the situation. She would understand.

He heard a low growl. “Teme, I’m gonna kick your ass!” Blue eyes glared at him from an inch away.

He smirked. “Che, dobe, as if you could. Besides, Na-ru-to,” he said, drawing out the syllables of the younger man’s name, “You said the _next_ time a Konoha ninja came through here, it would be war. I’m sure Tsunade-sama will appreciate how I am sacrificing my vacation time to insure the peace.” 

Naruto looked at him in horror as the blond began to understand the implications of his own words. 

Sasuke used the moment of shock to lean in even closer, until his lips were almost brushing the shorter man’s ear. “It doesn’t bother you that I’m staying, does it, Naruto?” Again, the raven lingered over the blond’s name, his voice low and husky. He felt a thrill of victory as the other man shivered. “After all, I’m just a part of the past. You don’t have any…feelings…for me anymore, right?”

“Fuck no!” Naruto pushed the taller man back, cheeks red. He avoided looking at the raven as he stormed out of the room, his hands making the signs to reactivate the henge. “Just stay out of my way!”

Sasuke watched him leave, satisfied with the day’s events. The other man had been too flustered to push the issue of his “vacation” anymore. He had time now, and he would use it to his advantage. 

He remembered the line of heat along his body as he leaned in close to the blond. The dobe could deny it all he wanted, but he had felt the blond sway almost imperceptibly towards him just before pushing him back. Naruto wasn’t as indifferent as he wanted to appear.


	7. Chapter 7

"Fuckity fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fucker!" Naruto pounded a training dummy, trying to get his conversation from that morning with Sasuke out of his head. What the hell was the Teme doing? The Uchiha didn't take "vacations." Why was he staying in Imba? Just to keep an eye on the situation here? Maybe he shouldn't have threatened to kill the next Konoha ninja who came to the village, but he was a missing-nin for fuck's sake! The last thing he wanted was a team of Anbu out for his head. And he wanted to make his point loud and clear to the other man that he didn't care about the Uchiha anymore. 

An extra hard punch, and the dummy's head went sailing, hitting the wall across the room with a loud "thud." Fat lot of good his threat had done him. He glared at the decapitated dummy in front of him, literally trembling with agitation. Training was not helping him calm down.

Shit, was he going to have to kill Sasuke?

Strong, pale arms wrapped around him, heedless of his sweat-soaked clothes. He tensed, his mind still focused on the raven, before realizing there was only one person who would be holding him right now.

"You're so worked up, lover," a husky voice crooned in his ear as he was pulled against a hard chest. "Is that sex-on-legs nin getting to you?"

Naruto sighed. Trust Shin to remind him of who was bothering him and _why_ he was succeeding. The damn Teme was too hot for his own good, and Shin was a major flirt.

The other man was one of the few true Rain ninja in the area. He had been sent by the Hidden Rain's Council to "help out," or so he said. Naruto was sure he was a spy, but it didn't bother him. He knew Shin was a spy, and Shin knew he knew, so things somehow managed to work out quite well between two of them. More than well, truthfully, considering they had been on-again, off-again lovers for the past two years. 

Looking back, the blond couldn't remember exactly how the two of them had become intimate. They weren't _in_ love with each other, but Shin had expressed his interest in no uncertain terms, and the man's flirtatious and easy-going nature had been a balm to Naruto's battered feelings. The brunet had wanted him, and he had needed to feel wanted. And it didn't hurt that Shin was absolutely gorgeous. He didn’t care that there weren’t any serious feelings between the two of them—in fact, both of them had slept with several others over the years. He had made the decision to avoid falling in love again, and the no-strings relationship he shared with Shin suited him. 

Naruto groaned, letting his head fall forward as Shin's talented hands began massaging his shoulders. "Ah, you can stop doing that in about a million, zillion years."

He felt a low chuckle behind him. “So who is he?” Shin asked curiously. “You obviously know him since you let him go and aren’t asking him to join. Someone from Konoha?” Naruto was grateful that Shin didn’t recognize the Uchiha. Thankfully, Shin hadn’t been at the Chuunin exams, and Sasuke had been stuck either with Orochimaru or in Konoha for years after that. And since the raven hadn’t used the Sharingan during the fight, there were no telltale clues to his identity.

“Just someone from my past,” the shorter man said. “He’s not a missing-nin, and he wouldn’t leave his village to join us.” Not that Naruto would even give him that option. He did _not_ want Sasuke around. “Besides, he’ll be leaving Imba soon, so don’t worry about it.” He damn well better leave soon.

“Really? Our men saw him last night in the training field. Apparently, he was doing a series of kata at an incredible speed. Seemed like he was pretty worked up. Why do think that would be?”

Sasuke had actually been upset by his words? He shrugged, wanting to get off the subject. “Who knows?”

The other man made a noncommittal noise. He dug his fingers in further to work out a knot. At Naruto’s appreciative moan, he whispered, “You know, there are better ways to relax..."

"Umm…" the blond murmured, thinking it couldn't hurt after all.

A deliciously wicked tongue flicked against his ear. "Can I invite sex-on-legs?"

The shorter man immediately tensed up again and shoved his shoulder against the brunet, pushing him back. "Fuck, Shin, don't even joke about that!"

The other man stumbled back, chuckling. "Who said I was joking?"

Immediately, red eyes narrowed to slits. Over the past five years, he had steadily been merging with the Kyuubi, and it was frighteningly easy to pull the demon fox's chakra. The red streaks in his hair attested to the combining of host and bijuu. There were other, less obvious signs that became apparent when he got upset, his fingernails lengthening to claws and his canines elongating to sharp points. They were both apparent now.

"Don't touch him," his voice was a low growl that echoed in the suddenly quiet room.

Shin leisurely walked towards him, unafraid of the change he had witnessed countless times before. "If you don't want him, Blondie, then he's up for grabs. Unless...you're staking a claim?"

The question remained unanswered for a long time. Finally, blue eyes turned away, and Naruto walked out of the room.

"You're right. Do what you want with him. I don't care."

Considering grey eyes watched him leave.

\-------------------

Sasuke paced his room, frustrated and unable to sleep. Naruto had been avoiding him for the past two days. The first few days after he had announced his intentions to stay in Imba, he had managed to spend a considerable amount of time in the blond’s presence. He was annoyed by the sudden change. 

_Around noon the day after the raven announced his intentions to stay in Imba, he walked into the grocery store, numerous take-out boxes in hand. Light brown eyes immediately glared at him, and the tall teen stalked over to him._

_“What are you doing here?” Naruto growled. “There are other markets where you can shop.”_

_Sasuke arched an eyebrow. “Are you trying to send a paying customer to the competition, Dobe? How do you expect to stay in business when you’re so rude and inconsiderate?”_

_The younger man scowled at him. “Teme -”_

_A woman passing by gasped at his insult, and the teenager’s face instantly was wreathed in an apologetic smile. Bowing, he said, “Heh, heh, heh, excuse me ma’am.”_

_Looking askance at him, the woman moved to the next aisle. As soon as she was out of sight, Naruto’s smile dropped, and he was scowling at the Uchiha once again. Sasuke smirked._

_Before the other man could start a tirade, the raven held out his peace offering. “I brought you some lunch.”_

_The younger man’s eyes opened wide, and his nostrils flared automatically, trying to catch a whiff of the food. Shaking his head suddenly, he said, “Pft! I don’t want your food—” His stomach grumbled loudly in protest. The blond-turned-brunet glared down at his midsection. “Traitor,” he murmured._

_The Uchiha shook the food gently. “I couldn’t decide which ramen would taste the best, so I bought an assortment.”_

_Naruto’s eyes lit up with ill-suppressed glee. Inwardly, Sasuke snorted. If only it was always this easy to make the Dobe happy._

_Still, the younger man hesitated, and the raven shrugged. “Well, I’m hungry, even if you’re not going to eat.” He took the bags outside the store to the table and benches in front, trailed reluctantly by the other man. He meticulously opened each bag, setting aside his utensils and laying out each dish. He could practically feel Naruto’s breath on his neck._

_“Hmmm…maybe I’ll start with the miso pork…” He reached for the bowl, only to have it snatched out of his hands with a loud squawk._

_“Che! Like you could fully appreciate the beauty that is miso pork ramen! Itadakimasu!” Naruto plopped down on the bench and inhaled his first of many bowls. Sasuke watched him in amusement as he bit into an onigiri. At least the blond’s appetite hadn’t changed._

_By the time all the bowls were empty, the younger man was sitting contentedly, patting his bulging belly. He sighed happily and finally pulled himself out off the bench. He continued to ignore the raven, but as he walked back into the store, Sasuke heard a muttered, “Thanks.”_

_The third day the Uchiha had brought lunch, the blond was waiting for him impatiently by the tables. Naruto had even smiled at him…although it could have been aimed at the food. The other man was relaxing in his presence, and they had even exchanged words. Sure, a lot of it had been things like “Pass the blue bowl,” “My chopstick broke!” and “Teme, I was going to eat that!” but Naruto was laughing and joking around. It made Sasuke happy._

Things had been going so well! But then suddenly, the blond was nowhere to be found.

He hadn't seen a trace of a red-streaked blond or a shaggy teenaged brunet, and it was annoying him to no end. How was he supposed to get closer to the stupid Dobe if he couldn't even find him? He had gone by the grocery store several times, but the only person attending the store was Murakami-san, Takao-san’s wife, who refused to discuss the missing-nin.

Oh she talked...and talked and talked and talked and talked—it was easy to see why she and Naruto got along—but apparently that one subject was taboo. He had even tried flirting with the damn woman—according to his fangirls, he was irresistible after all—but that had just lead to Murakami-san giggling hysterically and hitting him. Bah, there had to be a way to find the Dobe. He had even looked around for Shin, but the other ninja had been absent as well. His Sharingan flared at he thought of the two of them hiding away together.

He caught a hint of movement out of the corner of his eye, and he glanced out the window in time to see three figures running across the rooftops. More ninja appeared behind them, all of them headed in the same direction. He narrowed his red eyes. Something was wrong with the shinobi. They were...shimmering. He deactivated the Sharingan, and the ninja were gone, no trace of them at all, but when he reactivated it, he could see their shimmering bodies once again.

When he was sure the last ninja had passed by, he leapt out the window and followed from a safe distance. The raven realized they were heading for the building he had investigated the first week he had arrived. He watched as they all slipped into the building. He noticed the structure was shimmering as well. _Interesting._ It looked like this would have to be a working vacation.

He felt the chakra signature rushing towards him, and he jumped to the side, seconds before a figure landed where he had been hiding. 

Naruto rose from a low crouch, his eyes fastened on the Uchiha. The past few days had been horrible. He had found himself getting too comfortable in the raven’s company, even looking forward to it. It scared him. In order to gain some needed distance, he had decided to lead a small contingent of men to patrol the surrounding areas. He and his men had come upon a village completely burned to the ground. Bodies littered the earth, some too small to be adult. He had become enraged, and they had followed the trail of carnage to a large detachment of men dressed in Wind Country uniforms, leading wagons of food and supplies away from the village they had just ransacked. His body was still splattered with the soldiers' blood and gore, and he just wanted to bathe and forget for a minute about the people he hadn't managed to save. It didn't look like that was going to happen now.

He had warned Sasuke to stay away from him and basically told him anyone caught spying would be killed, and here was the stupid Teme, following his men in the middle of the night. Fuck, he really didn't need this right now. He was bone tired, and seeing the Uchiha spying made him wonder again just what the other man was doing here. He couldn't really believe Sasuke was staying in Imba for him. After all their problems, all the anger, the cheating, the older man couldn't possibly expect him to go back to Konoha with him. What was there to go back to? The Council definitely wouldn't want the Jinchuuriki back. They had spared the Uchiha when he had returned to the Hidden Leaf because they wanted the Sharingan. There would be no such leniency for him. 

And it's not like Sasuke was making any avowals of love for him. He inwardly snorted. As if the cold ice prince would ever do something like that. Sure, the raven had said Naruto was his, but he had always been a possessive son-of-a-bitch. Look at the damn Uchiha fans that covered all his things. Talk about self-centered. Hell, Sasuke hadn't even apologized to him for sleeping with Sakura! He had said he fucked up, but was he referring to the cheating itself or for getting caught? 

So if the raven weren't here to get him back, then was he here to kill him? After his argument with Shin, Naruto had decided he couldn't stand the thought of killing Sasuke, not for something as simple as staying in Imba against his wishes. He ignored the voice that said he would never be able to let the Uchiha go. But just because he had decided not to kill the Teme, it didn't mean the older man had made the same decision in regards to him. 

Naruto had already had several assassination attempts against him. Politics were extremely convoluted here, and getting rid of a potential enemy who was growing in power was a smart move. There were only two reasons his army hadn't already been decimated. One was the secret support of the daimyo and hidden village of Rain. Two, and more importantly, if any one country had tried to send in its full army after him, the other two countries would have see it as an act of war. Since Sasuke was refusing to leave now that he knew Naruto was in Imba, did that mean he was waiting on assassination orders from Tsunade? The blond's heart clenched painfully at the thought, but he knew baa-chan would do what she had in order to protect Konoha, and if he were perceived as a threat, although reluctant, she would order his death. Fuck, his head was starting to pound like crazy.

"What the hell are you doing here, Teme?"

Sasuke eyed the blood-drenched figure in front of him. Up close, the other man didn't seem injured under all that blood, but it was a disturbing sight to see Naruto covered in so much gore. Well, he understood why he hadn't seen the blond around lately. What exactly had the Dobe been doing?

Unaware of the other man's rampaging thoughts, Sasuke could discern the seriousness of the question, so he abandoned the vacation response poised on his lips. "I told you, Naruto. I am going to take you back to Konoha."

" _Why_?" the blond's voice was frustrated. "So the Council can have me killed?"

"Che, baka, the Council won't kill you. You're too powerful for them to throw away like that. The only thing they have against you is that you _ran away_." He sneered the last two words. "Unlike me, you haven't joined an enemy of the Leaf, and all they did when I got back-"

"You're an _Uchiha_! Of course they didn't want to kill you. I hold the nine-tailed fox! Do you really think they'll pass up an opportunity to get rid of me?"

The raven was incredulous. "You think Tsunade-sama would let them hurt you? You think any of your friends would stand back and let that happen?"

"The Council can force baa-chan to do it. You don't know how much they hate me."

"I won't let them." The words were quiet, but they seemed to ring across the space that separated the two ninja. "I won't let anyone hurt-"

"No," Naruto scoffed. "You’d just do it yourself."

Sasuke flinched sharply before tensing. It's not that he expected Naruto to just forgive him, but the conviction and dismissal in the younger man's voice cut him to the bone. It was true that the number of his transgressions against the blond seemed insurmountable, but he couldn't, wouldn't believe that it was impossible. Anger started to build in him as frustration mounted. Why wouldn't the Dobe give him a chance?

"Just go, Sasuke. I'm not going back, not to Konoha, not to you." The blond made the words deliberately blunt and hurtful. 

Tense silence followed his words. Finally, the raven snarled, " _Make me_." 

\---------------------

Naruto rushed the Uchiha, fist pulled back. He couldn't deny the thrill he felt at the thought of finally fighting the other man again after all this time. How much had Sasuke improved? The blond felt his agitation and fears fade to the background. It was time to kick the Teme's ass.

It was like time was rushing back several years. They attacked, dodged and weaved in perfect synchronicity. Lightening fast reflexes saved them time and time again as they used enough force to break bones. Finally, one particularly harsh punch missed the taller man to hit the corner of a wall, and wood and mortar flew away, leaving a huge hole in its place. They both stopped, and Naruto's eyebrows rose dramatically.

"Heh...oops? Damn." Fingers scratched the back of his neck. "Maybe we should take this out of town?"

"Hn, Dobe." 

The two raced away, landing once again in the field Sasuke had fought in several days before. They resumed their battle, but this time the intensity level was lessened, and their fighting no longer held the rage from before.

Still, this confrontation had been a long time coming. They had too much hurt and anger in their past, and they both needed to let it out. While by mutual tacit consent, neither ninja used killing moves, both knew that broken bones could and would likely happen.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Ten Narutos surrounded the pale raven. "Let me show you just how much stronger I've become, Teme."

"Bring it on, Dobe," Sasuke smirked, Sharingan flaring.

Ten kunai came at him, one after another. The Uchiha had just a moment to wonder at the oddness of the staggered attack when the blond seemed to magically pop in front of him. Fuck, how did Naruto get so fast? Even with the Sharingan, he hadn't seen the other man move. He dodged a punch to his head and jumped to avoid flying kunai. Shit! More blonds were popping in front of him. How-

"Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu1!" Four clones got caught up in the fire and disappeared, and the force of the blast caused the remaining kunai to be pushed back. The Uchiha performed several back flips, putting more distance between himself and the remaining clones. "You learned the Fourth's space/time technique?"

Six Narutos grinned at him. "You noticed the markings on the kunai." It was a staTement, not a question.

Sasuke smirked. "It still doesn't make you fast enough." To prove his point, he ran at the nearest figure and lashed out with his katana.

Naruto whistled appreciatively. "You've gotten even faster with that thing since the last time I saw you."

The Uchiha's smirk faded. "It has been five years, Dobe."

The blond kept his smile in place. "What else have you got, Teme?"

Sasuke unbound the bandages covering both wrists, revealing the tattoos with the kanji for sword. He tapped the symbol with opposing fingers, summoning a large shuriken. 

Naruto let out a whistle. "Cool!"

Sasuke couldn't stop the small half-smile at Naruto's silliness.

"Let me show you."

Hours later, the two of them were alone on the field, all of Naruto's clones having been killed off. Both were tired but invigorated, happy to spar with the other after so much time. Neither man had shown off any techniques on the level of Rasengan or Chidori, but they had both demonstrated just how far they had come over the intervening years. The only sounds were the soft pants of their breathing as they rested, eyeing the other and waiting for the next attack. It was a strangely peaceful moment for the both of them.

Sasuke watched as the blond wiped his forehead clear of sweat, leaving a red-streaked trail across his forehead. He had somehow managed to forget that Naruto was covered in blood as the two of them fought in the dark, but as the sun started rising, he could see the clear signs of gore. Before even realizing what he was doing, he asked, "What were you doing last night, Dobe?"

And just like that, Naruto's relaxed air vanished as all his previous doubts came rushing back, and he became visibly tense. "What's it matter to you, Teme?"

The raven couldn't stop his reaction to the harsh question. "You're covered in blood!" he half-yelled, frustrated by the other man's attitude. "Is it so hard to believe I might be worried about you?" 

" _Yes_!" Naruto exclaimed, tired of the Uchiha's games. "Why the hell do you care all the sudden? We haven't seen each other for five years. Before that, you were messing with my head, ignoring me and fucking Sakura. Before _that_ , you were trying to kill me every time we saw each other. So why the _fuck_ do you care now?"

Sasuke flinched at the brutal words. What was he supposed to say? That his whole world had collapsed in on him after Naruto left? That without the thirst for vengeance driving him on, he had only had his own thoughts and regrets to live with? That the last five years away from the blond had made him realize just how important he was to him? He couldn't do it. In the very best of situations, opening himself up like that would have been difficult. But with Naruto glaring at him so...hatefully...he couldn't reveal his true feelings.

“I’ve always cared about you!” 

The blond scoffed. “Yeah, right.”

“I have never lied to you,” he hissed. And it was true. He had never professed feelings he didn’t have, had never said he forgave the other man, had never said he would be faithful… But what was his honesty worth in the face of all his other sins?

Naruto gave a sharp laugh. “What does that matter? There’s a first time for everything. A first time for trying to kill your best friend, a first time for-“

“Shut up,” Sasuke said harshly. The blond ignored him. “Shut up!” Sasuke screamed, causing Naruto to look at him in shock. When did Sasuke ever lose control of himself? “I already admitted I messed up! What more do you want from me?”

The younger man stared at him incredulously. “You messed up? You completely fucked over my life! I left -”

“What was I supposed to do? You killed my brother!” My brother, not Itachi. For the first time, Naruto heard more than just anger in the other man’s voice at the mention of Itachi. He heard sorrow. And because he always reacted to the pain in others, it made him calm down. All this finger pointing, all this blame – he was so tired. He just wanted to forget it all. No one had ever affected him like Sasuke. 

Sigh. “I don’t want to do this anymore. Just…just go back to Konoha, Teme,” he said, his voice detached and empty.

The Uchiha watched in disbelief as Naruto turned to leave him behind again, and the raven exploded. He raced towards the other man, his katana extended at his side. 

The blond just barely managed to turn and jump out of the way of the other’s stroke in time. Sasuke’s features were contorted in rage, and he cried out, “Don’t walk away from me!”

The raven couldn’t stand Naruto’s indifference. His entire life, people hadn’t cared about _him_ , about the person inside the polished façade. His father had ignored him in favor of Itachi. The village had forgotten about the traumatized boy he was and saw only the avenger. The girls who had chased him had just wanted the Uchiha name and wealth.

But Naruto - Naruto had seen him, seen him for what he really was beneath the Uchiha name and the avenger role he had played, seen him with all of his faults, and the blond had still acknowledged him, had still wanted him. Even when he had gone to Orochimaru, he had known the younger boy was still looking for him, planning to drag him back to the Village of the Leaf, and it had been enough to know he was out there. 

But because of the Uchiha’s own anger, Naruto had disappeared, and no one had truly seen him since. Once again, he had become a “thing,” the traitor, Orochimaru’s killer, the last Uchiha, and Sasuke had finally realized what it meant to have Naruto’s acceptance, to have Naruto. It would break the older man if the blond walked away from him now.

He would make Naruto look at him once again.

The younger man’s own katana flashed out, blocking his next blow. _Shit_! Sasuke had always been better at weapons than he was, with his effortless grace and amazing speed. The blond knew he would lose an up-close battle of swords.

Even as Naruto parried another blow, the raven was getting under his guard, and he hissed as he felt a deep slice against his shoulder. There was another flurry of blows, and then, another cut, this time on his leg. _Not good, not good, not good_!

He flipped backwards rapidly, trying to put some distance between the two of them, but Sasuke was there in front of him in a second. Another cut on his left arm. Blue eyes turned red to match the blood trickling down his wounds. 

Desperate times called for desperate measures.

Naruto deliberately dropped an explosive bomb between the two of them. Lightening quick reflexes saved them, but even so, both men were thrown backwards by the force of the blast. They staggered upright slowly, eyeing the other across the way. 

Finally, Naruto was looking at him again, completely intent on the Uchiha. Sasuke felt a flare of excitement as adrenalin coursed through him. He remembered the words he had said to the blond the first time they had seen each other. _“You’re mine. You’ve always been mine, and if I have to kick your ass a hundred times to make you understand that fact, I will.”_ It looked like he would have to follow through with his threat. He’d drag Naruto back to Konoha if it killed him.

“Katon: Ryuuka Endan2!” A serpent completely made of flame slithered across the air towards Naruto. The blond frantically dodged, but the raven was controlling the creature through chakra leads, and the blaze followed him, turning in mid-air. 

“Kage Bushin no Jutsu!” Another Naruto popped into existence, leaping away from the first. The fire serpent followed it, picking up speed and engulfing the clone. It flared a deep red and got bigger, feeding off the chakra, before turning towards the last figure.

But Naruto didn’t waste the brief respite. “Fuuton: Toukai no Gufuu3!” A gigantic tornado appeared in the middle of the field, the high velocity winds causing the flames on the serpent to flicker and twist. The huge column of air whipped viciously, spiraling towards the fiery creature. The two met head on in a burst of heat and noise. With a high-pitched shriek, the fire serpent was sucked up into the tornado, a maelstrom of wind and flame. A second later, even the flames were gone, extinguished by the rapid currents of air. The tornado itself had been affected as well. It was less than half its original size and slowly began to reduce in speed. 

Even diminished, the tornado followed the remnants of chakra that had connected the serpent to Sasuke and pulled the older man, who was too exhausted from the chakra loss and the long night of combat to jump out of the way in time, into the vortex. He screamed as he was almost torn apart by the brutal winds. It only lasted a moment before the blond hurriedly released the jutsu, but by the time he came crashing back to the ground, he was wrecked and bleeding from numerous wounds.

“Fuck, _fuck_!” Naruto screamed, stomping over to the fallen man. He was dead on his feet, but he was too angry to let himself drop. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

Oddly, Sasuke almost wanted to smile at the other man’s animation. _Stamina freak._ He coughed violently, splattering blood across his chin, and his eyes dimmed as unconsciousness tried to take him.

Red eyes glared down at him, angry at the stupid Teme, angry at himself for losing control. He had thought he would enjoy seeing the raven beaten, but the reality had shaken him up. He hated the sight of the Uchiha on the ground, covered in bloody cuts, one leg bent unnaturally. 

“I couldn’t let you leave,” the older man rasped out harshly. 

“Damn it, Sasuke! What the hell are you thinking? How many times do I have to tell you to go back? I don’t want you here! I don’t know why you’re still in Imba, but it’s over! You say you want me, but then I find you spying on my men!” Naruto dragged one hand through his hair in frustration. “I don’t want to kill you, but you’re giving me no choice. Get out of here, and stay the fuck away from me!”

Sasuke lay broken on the ground, and a few tears fell unheeded from his eyes. Pain and light-headedness loosened his tongue. "I can't," he whispered. "Don't you think I've tried?" He coughed harshly. "For five years...all I've thought about is you. Your smile, your eyes...they haunt me, Naruto. Every time I close my eyes, I see you. I keep remembering all the ways I've hurt you, and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I know you'd be better off without me. But I can't give you up. I can't..."

Wide blue eyes stared down at the unconscious raven. His knees buckled, and he fell to his knees next to the other man. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

 

1 Grand Fireball Jutsu  
2 Fire Element Grand Serpent Fireball  
3 Wind Element: Tornado of Destruction


	8. Chapter 8

Naruto stared down at the pale body lying in the bed. Sasuke would be fine. He'd had a broken leg and a few cracked ribs, but nothing too serious all in all. The doctor had healed all his injuries, and other than some tenderness, the Uchiha would be as good as new. 

Naruto rubbed his face tiredly. He had brought the older man to the local clinic after their fight. The doctor hadn't appreciated being woken at dawn, but he’d been remarkably good-natured about it after finding out who was at his door. The doctor was a missing-nin, one of only three medical ninja in Imba, and he was familiar with both of Naruto’s appearances. Most people in the village would only recognize the teenager who worked at the grocery store with the Murakami. 

When Takao-san had first brought him to Imba, he had been quiet and withdrawn, drastically different from the loud, obnoxious blond Konoha had known. Years of being on the run had subdued the effervescent personality, and he rarely spoke or smiled. His elderly caretaker had started calling him Kioshi1, and he’d been glad to answer to the name, happy to have that extra bit of distance between himself and his old life. If he never heard the name Naruto again, it would be too soon.

Gradually, however, life with Takao-san and his wife, Reiko-san had brought his smile back. And even if it wasn’t the larger than life smile he used to show, it was still the happiest expression he had worn since walking in on Sasuke and Sakura. Maybe it was because the Kyuubi had never run rampant through their village, so they didn’t share the same fear and mistrust the inhabitants of Konoha felt. Maybe it was simply that they were such good people. Whatever the reason, their simple acceptance of him and the demon within him had done more for him than he could ever express. 

Naruto had been in Imba for four months before the first attack. Takao-san later explained that it was always relatively quiet during the rainiest part of the year, since traveling was difficult for large armies. Also, in the years right after Pein’s death, the Land of Rain had still been relatively peaceful. As time went on and no strong ninja took over Hidden Rain, the surrounding countries became bolder, sending out more men and letting them take advantage of the struggling land.

When a group of twenty men came through Imba, they immediately demanded to speak to the mayor. They demanded food and shelter. The mayor was too accustomed to the treatment to offer protests or expect payment. None of the villagers spoke up either, too scared to even offer hushed complaints. 

Later, in the confines of their home, the blond volunteered to get rid of the men, but Takao-san sadly shook his head. Those men were just a foraging party. They never took too much – after all, they would need to swing by Imba again as they were heading back to their own country – and if the villagers tried to strike back, a larger force would be sent to deal with them. Whole villages had been destroyed that way.

Looking back, Naruto didn’t know if he could’ve really stood by and watched the soldiers rob the village, but the decision was taken out of his hands. The men got drunk that night, eager to relax after weeks of campaigning. The innkeeper ran out of the Captain’s favorite sake, and no other sake would do. The enraged Captain had drawn his sword, intent on punishing the frightened man.

Across the street from the inn, the Jinchuuriki had heard the screams from the waitresses in the room and rushed to the man’s aid. He had enough presence of mind to grab a hat and towel to cover his hair and face. He barely made it in time to keep the Captain from decapitating the innkeeper. 

The blond was able to defeat the 20 men easily. The room was so enclosed, they got in each other’s way more often than not, and Naruto was an S-class nin. Luckily, all the attendants had fled the scene, so he didn’t have any witnesses. He summoned clones and took the bodies outside of Imba. The blood couldn’t be helped, but that could be cleaned. The major problem was figuring out a way to dispose of the bodies without getting the village in trouble.

It had been Takao-san’s idea to stage a mock battlefield. He had been horribly upset when he found out what Naruto had done, but after the blond refused to back down, vowing to defend the village and its inhabitants, the old man’s eyes had actually filled with gratitude and tears. He had known the innkeeper for twenty years. He had lived in the village for over forty years. It had hurt him to see the damage done to Imba time and time again.

After Takao-san was certain Naruto wasn’t injured, he had brought two other shinobi to meet him. They were both missing-nin, but like Naruto, they had somehow found a place to settle down in the village. They were nowhere near as powerful as the Jinchuuriki, but they were willing to help him in order to keep their anonymity. 

The three of them had taken the bodies to a far away clearing near the road to Imba and staged them to look like they had fallen into an ambush, trampling the field and adding additional wounds to the bodies. It would look like the foraging party had been hit before they ever reached the village.

Meanwhile, Naruto sent out dozens of clones in all directions, looking for men from another army. Luck was with them. Soldiers from another country were just a few hours away. The blond was able to sneak in when the men camped for the night and steal a few uniforms. They tore off the insignia and strips of cloth, arranging them randomly around the dead bodies. With luck, anyone looking for the men would assume they had been killed by an opposing army.

After that first incident, the three of them began patrolling the area against other invaders, circling wider and wider as more and more ninja began to join them. Eventually, they were no longer able to hide the aftermath of their attacks and word leaked about the ninja army. Hidden Rain had approached him then, and Shin joined him soon after.

Naruto paused in his thoughts as Sasuke finally started to stir. Dark eyes opened slowly and looked into blue.

“We really need to stop meeting like this, Teme.” The blond grinned. This was the second time after all that Sasuke had woken up in a strange bed with the younger man watching over him. “Maybe if you stopped getting your ass kicked...”

The raven didn’t respond to the challenge. He pulled himself to a sitting position and saw he was wearing loose pants and a yukata that was belted closed haphazardly. His movements caused the edges to gape open across his chest. He noticed Naruto’s eyes flicker down for a second before resolutely coming back up to his face. He would have smirked, but he had more pressing matters on his mind.

Unfortunately, he remembered everything he had said to the other man, and he wasn’t sure what to expect from the dobe now. His confession and apology ran through his mind. Did Naruto care about what he’d said? Did he believe him? He had to know.

“Naruto, I—”

“Please don’t,” the other man interrupted. Sasuke’s lips firmed into a harsh line. So the blond didn’t care.

Naruto had spent a lot of time thinking about what he was going to say, but he couldn’t look at the Uchiha and do it. He stared at the wall. “I’m sorry I put you in the hospital. I didn’t expect – I didn’t mean for that last jutsu to – shit.” An exasperated grimace. “Anyway, I’m sorry you got hurt like that. When you were lying on the ground…” he drifted off uncomfortably, silent for a moment. 

“And then you said… I…I really…appreciate…what you said. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you apologize to anyone.” A wry smile passed across his face. “And since we’ve known each other for like 12 years, that’s saying something.” The smile fell away. “It meant a lot to me.” Sasuke couldn’t control the surge of hope he felt, even though he could tell Naruto wasn’t finished.

“But I can’t…” A large sigh. The older man’s heart clenched. He didn’t realize his hands were fisted into the blanket covering him. “I want to forgive you, Sasuke, I do, but I keep remembering..." For a moment, silence reigned in the room.

"I love you," Sasuke whispered. Naruto's eyes flew towards him, shock clear on his face. The raven wanted to look away, almost wanted to take back the words that echoed in the air, but...this might be his last opportunity to tell the other man. Distantly, he wondered why it seemed to take more courage to say those three words than it had to face Itachi. He reached one trembling hand out and lightly touched the blond's cheek. "Give me one more chance, Naruto. Let me show you how much I lo—” 

"No!" Naruto gasped, pulling back desperately, chest heaving. His eyes darted away frantically, looking anywhere but at the man in the bed. "Don't say that! I’ve spent so much time trying to forget you – to forget Konoha. I have people I need to take care of here. Even if we somehow…no, no!" He shook his head violently. "Don't say that. I can't...I'm not going back. I won't leave them!” 

Eyes blazing, the taller man yelled, "Stop using these people as an excuse! You bring up your responsibilities every time I get close to you. They're just a shield for you to hide behind, Dobe!" The blond didn't respond. 

The Uchiha let his hand fall back to the bed, fist tight. He bowed his head, hiding his face from the other man. A low whisper, "What if I stayed here with you?"

Naruto thought his heart was trying to beat its way out of his chest. He didn't realize he was rubbing his hand over the spot as if trying to soothe some ache. Sasuke was offering to leave Konoha for him? Offering to become a missing-nin... _again_? Did that mean he really lov - shit, he couldn't even say the word in his head. He had been trying to forget the damn teme for five years, and even when the older man had walked back into his life, he had denied that there were any personal feelings involved. Now the other man was opening up to him, making himself so achingly vulnerable, and the blond didn't know what to do. He had never seen him like this.

" _Sasuke_?" No answer. The silence in the room was heavy and expectant. "I don't-" He had meant to say "I don't know," but as soon as the word "don't" escaped his lips, the Uchiha's head had snapped up, and the rest of his words disappeared in the red of the Sharingan.

The raven didn't know he had activated his bloodline limit. He just knew he wouldn't - he couldn't - let Naruto say he didn't love him. He surged out of the bed and grabbed the shorter man's shirt, pulling him in for a harsh kiss. He ignored the deep pains in his body, remnants from their battle, determined to prove that the blond still had feelings for him. He moved his lips over the other man's, pushing his tongue inside when Naruto gasped.

Naruto, for his part, was too surprised to do anything. _Sasuke was kissing him!_ What the hell? His eyes fluttered closed as the other man’s tongue glided wetly along his own.

 _Fuck_ , it had been a long time since Sasuke had been able to taste this heaven. He fell back into the bed, dragging the shorter man with him and flipping them so he lay across the other man's body. He was half-surprised the blond hadn't pushed him off yet, but he wasn't going to waste this opportunity.

Naruto raised his hands in surprise at the sudden move and hissed as his hands landed on bare skin. The Uchiha’s top had fallen completely open, leaving his chest exposed. He couldn't help but let his hands slide over the silken skin covering the corded muscle underneath. He shivered when Sasuke moaned into the kiss as he brushed over an erect nipple. Damn, the sound was so erotic! The raven ground his erection down onto his own hardening cock, causing him to arch up, mouth open in a gasp. "Ah!" Dimly he thought there was some reason he shouldn't be doing this, but arousal made the thought shatter and drift away.

Sasuke couldn't get enough of the taste and feel of the blond. His teeth nipped down the other man’s neck, turned to the side to give him better access. Naruto had always been so addictive, but the passion between them now was like a fire burning in his veins. Anger and desperation fueled his lust, and his hands feverishly worked at the shorter man's pants. He would make his dobe respond to him!

They both cried out when one of the Uchiha's hands finally grabbed the tan cock. The blond desperately kneaded the firm flesh of the raven’s ass as he thrust up into the firm grip. How had he gotten so close to orgasm already?

Sasuke reluctantly stopped kissing the writhing man underneath him to watch the play of emotions across his face. He couldn’t help but feel a surge of awe and satisfaction at seeing Naruto come undone. In this at least, the other man couldn’t hide the truth from him.

Naruto’s eyes opened a tiny bit, not understanding why the raven had stopped kissing him, and what he saw forcibly brought him back to reality. Mistaking the expression on the taller man’s face for smugness at making the blond submit instead of satisfaction at seeing him unable to hide his desire, he pushed Sasuke off of him roughly. He wanted to punch the look right off the other’s face and barely managed to restrain himself.

In the past, the Uchiha had made him beg for sex, and when they had finally gotten into bed, the other man had made it abundantly clear who was in control. Sasuke had often worn an expression of condescension, and the sex had always been fast and impersonal. He didn’t think about the fact that the raven had never bothered to bring him off manually before – putting Naruto’s pleasure before his own – he just reacted to the feelings that look evoked.

“ _Get the fuck away from me_!” he roared. He was pissed off that even now, the sight of the other man all flushed and exposed made his cock throb.

Sasuke looked up at him from the floor where he’d fallen in confusion. What had just happened? He could understand that the dobe would be upset that he had let things go too far, but the look on his face seemed all out of proportion to what happened.

“Naruto, what—”

“I forgot how you always got off on power, you prick. This is all just another fucked up game for you, isn’t it?”

“What? No! No, I—” 

“This is your last chance to get out of here, Sasuke. If you’re not gone from Imba in an hour, I will kill you.” 

The raven was too stunned by the absolute certainty in those words to stop the blond from leaving the room.

FUCK!

\---------------------

“Shin!” The tall man eyes widened as Naruto strode into the room and grabbed his arm. Anger emanated from the blond in waves, but there was no mistaking his intent when he crushed his lips to the other man’s. He lifted his head.

“My room. Now!”

\---------------------

Sasuke walked into his room slowly. How had everything gone wrong so fast? One minute, the two of them were moving together urgently, and the next, Naruto had stormed out of the room! His dobe had been so beautiful in his desire, face twisted with lust and hands clenching him tightly. Then he had opened his eyes, and—”

“Shit!” he exclaimed, covering his face with his hands. Naruto had been fine until he had looked at him. The blond must have thought Sasuke was toying with him. Sickly, the raven remembered previous times in bed when he had all but mocked the other man, expression disdainful. It had all been an act, of course. Sex with Naruto had always been amazing. It was one of the reasons they had never had sex facing each other. Sasuke couldn’t control his expression at the end, and he hadn’t wanted the blond to see him overcome with passion for him.

Fuck, he had a lot to make up for. What the hell was he going to do now?

He dropped his hands. Well, one thing he knew for certain was that he had no intention of leaving Imba. Naruto was sadly mistaken if he thought he could force him to go. The Uchiha had not shown off his full power when they had fought last night. With his dobe at stake, he would not lose again. 

Sasuke caught a glimpse of movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned. Across the way, in the normally empty room he had stared into every night for the past few weeks, were Naruto and Shin. He wasn't even conscious of activating the Sharingan, his eyes narrowed to slits in jealousy and rage, as he watched the two semi-naked bodies move together. 

\---------------------

Naruto licked a long line up Shin's neck, the other man sitting on his knees in between the blond's thighs, his bare back arched against the shorter man's muscular chest. One hand was clenched in the black hair at the nape of Shin's neck, pulling his head back to bare his throat. The other hand slid down a tense chest, stopping to tease a nipple. Shin cried out at the sensation, body jerking as Naruto pinched the small nub, his own arms curved over his head, holding onto the blond's shoulders. His head twisted to the side, lips covering his own in a demanding kiss, and the hand slid even lower, rubbing over his obvious arousal still trapped in his pants. He moaned, arching into the hot palm. 

They both felt the killing intent a second before Sasuke burst into the room through the window, katana drawn. Naruto and Shin jumped off the bed, the taller man rolling for his clothes and the weapons hidden within them. 

The blond, however, stood behind the bed, hands clenched and eyes blazing. "What the fuck do you think you're doing, Teme?"

Sasuke pointed his blade at the Rain ninja and hissed, " _Leave_."

Shin glanced at Naruto who was still glaring at the raven before straightening, clothes still on the ground. "I don't think so," he drawled, relaxed. "Kioshi and I have some…unfinished business. You would do well to leave before any guards—" The door burst inward, and the three Rain ninja who had been trailing the Uchiha charged into the room unannounced. "Ah, too late."

The Uchiha sneered, not lowering his sword. There was no way he was leaving Naruto and Shin alone. The three ninja stepped forward.

"Fuck!" Tan arms were thrown into the air in exasperation. "All of you get out of here. I'll deal with him." 

Shin smirked. "Afraid not, Kioshi. You've already been injured from battling this guy—"

"Sparring!" A squawk of indignation. "And I kicked his ass!"

"—and he just barged in here with his katana out. There's no way we can leave you alone with him. Indeed, we should put him in chains and put him-"

"Fine," Naruto interrupted. Everyone looked at him in surprise, except the raven. It was no secret that their leader somehow knew the man and favored him. Why else was the blond letting a foreign ninja get away with so much? 

The shinobi in question flinched slightly, thinking Naruto wanted him imprisoned, but he didn’t move otherwise, still determined to keep the other two men away from each other.

"Get me a pair of chakra-binding manacles," the blond ordered one of the Rain ninja. They waited, tense, until the ninja rushed back, items in hand. "Now all of you get out."

"Kio-" 

"I'm sure you will all agree I can handle myself against one chained opponent. Out!" The three ninja left hurriedly. Shin sighed and picked up his clothes, putting on his shirt and flak jacket. 

"I want to see you put the cuffs on," he said adamantly after he had dressed.

Naruto walked over to Sasuke, who looked into shuttered blue eyes for a long moment. The rage from earlier seemed to be gone, so uncertain but willing to go through the charade in order to be alone with the other man, he sheathed his sword and then raised his wrists. The blond took his sword, and treating it with the proper respect for such a fine weapon, placed it gently on a weapons rack in the room. Turning back, he locked the manacles in place, allowing the raven to keep his hands in front of him. There was actually about a foot of chain connecting the two cuffs, more than enough for the Uchiha to strangle a person, but he decided not to bring it to anyone's attention. 

Naruto turned and raised an eyebrow at the last man in the room. "Well?" he asked.

Shin eyed him. "You’re taking needless risks with your well-being. You shouldn't be alone with him. Let me stay and—"

"I can handle one man who can't even access his chakra!"

"Normally, I wouldn’t have any doubt as to your ability to beat someone. However, you two obviously have some sort of past, and it's clouding your thinking, Kioshi."

"There is nothing wrong with--!"

"I thought you were planning to kick him out of Imba?"

"He'll be gone soon!"

"You said that days ago! There always seems to be some excuse as to why he's still here." Shin stepped closer to Naruto, ignoring Sasuke's angry gaze. "You need to get rid of him, Kioshi-koi." The raven tensed up at the endearment, and the blond studiously avoided looking at him, not arguing with the appellation. "Let the men take him away," he whispered. He raised one hand and stroked his chest. Naruto caught his hand, stilling it, but didn't remove it from his body. "Let me take care of you." 

"Shin, I can't," he said. The Rain ninja pulled away from him. "I need to talk to him. We have unfinished business."

"Fine," he said coolly. "But you need to do more than just restrain his hands."

When the blond would have argued, Shin overrode him. "If you want me to leave you alone with him, then I need to be confident he can't attack you."

"He won't hurt me! Sasuke's a frie—" Naruto froze, as did the Uchiha. His heart beat rapidly. Naruto had been about to call him a friend!

The long-haired man sighed wearily all of the sudden. "Fine, fine. But he still shouldn’t be able to move around with impunity."

The shorter man looked around, shaking himself out of his daze. He looked relieved to get off the topic. "Here," he said. He went to the far end of the room where a training dummy was hanging from a hook on the wall. He stood on a chair to pull it off. The hook was curved backwards until it almost formed an "o" to prevent the dummy from coming off suddenly. 

"Teme, get over here."

The raven walked over and let himself be chained to the wall, his arms high above his head. With the slack on the chain, his feet remained on the ground and his arms were slightly bent. It was embarrassing but tolerable, if only to get the Rain ninja to leave so he could talk to Naruto.

All three men knew he could free his arms from the hook, but it would take some effort. 

Shin looked at the prisoner with narrowed eyes. "You and I must have our own discussion later, stranger." Sasuke looked at him coolly. He was looking forward to it.

After the door finally closed, leaving the two of them alone together, Naruto sighed heavily and dropped his head into his hands. “What the hell were you doing, Teme? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

Sasuke glared down at the lowered blond head. “What were you doing, Dobe? What the hell are you doing with…that guy?"

"It is _none_ of your business what I do!" The shorter man surged forward until he was barely an inch away from the Uchiha. Blue eyes glared up into black, and red wisps of chakra began to flicker at the edge of his vision. "Hell, if I choose to fuck every single ninja in Hidden Rain, then I fucking will!"

Internally, the raven despaired at how the two of them always seemed to be at odds with each other. Why did they always degenerate into arguments? He had meant to explain to the blond how their earlier encounter had ended due to a misconception, but he couldn't get over his hurt and anger at seeing him with another man. 

Caught up in feelings of betrayal, he couldn't stop himself from asking, "And is that what you've been doing? Fucking anyone and anything that comes your way?"

Naruto hissed. "I think that's your department, not mine!"

Chains clanked as Sasuke automatically reached out to grab him but was stopped short. "I haven't slept with anyone since the day you left Konoha!"

The blond stepped back. "Wha-what?"

"I said," he whispered, looking deep into questioning cerulean eyes, "I haven't been with anyone else since you left.” 

“Fuck, why are you doing this me?” Naruto cried, grabbing fistfuls of his hair in confusion. He pointed at the chained man. “I was getting over you!” he yelled. “I didn’t need you anymore! Why now? Why the hell are you here now?”

“I have been trying to find you for five years!” the Uchiha shouted, frustrated and hurt by the other’s words. “Every time there was a rumor of you, I went racing off, trying to find some clue, some trace of your whereabouts.” 

“I didn’t ask you to do that!” the blond yelled. “I didn’t want you to find me!”

“No, you wanted to run and hide like a coward!” he sneered. He didn’t flinch as a fist crashed into the wall next to his head. 

“Don’t call me that!” the Jinchuuriki roared.

“It’s the truth though, isn’t it?” Sasuke scoffed. “You ran away when you should have kicked my ass for cheating on you! You were so weak! How could you let me do those things to you?”

“Are you fucking blaming me for you hurting me?”

“Of course not! But I don’t understand why you let me abuse you! Did you want me to hurt you? Was it enough that I was paying attention to you?”

“Shut up!”

“Didn’t you have any self-respect? You never once stood up to me!”

“I said shut up!”

“Did you like begging? Is that why you kept coming back for more?”

“Fuck you! I loved you!” Naruto cried, enraged. “I would’ve done anything to be with you!”

The raven fell silent, completely stunned. Naruto had loved him? Did that mean part of him still loved him? Shit, had he destroyed everything?

The blond rasped out harshly, “You keep pushing and pushing. What are you expecting? Did you think I would just forget everything that happened? Did you think I would fall back into your arms now that you care for me? I don’t want you anymore, Sasuke!”

The Uchiha ignored the pang in his heart. Naruto had loved him. He wouldn’t let the dobe take that away from him now. “You wanted me earlier.”

The other man flushed at the reminder and pulled back. “That was just sex,” he said, looking away. 

“Just sex?” the taller man asked. “You keep saying I mean nothing to you, but you told Shin that I was a friend. So were you lying then, or are you lying now?” 

_Please let it be the latter_ , he thought. He knew he was taking a risky gamble, but he needed the blond to admit he still had feelings for him. 

“Why won’t you let it go?” 

“So I can give up on you like you gave up on me?” Naruto flinched like he’d been struck.

Sasuke’s voice gentled. “Just admit that you still care for me. Just that much. Please.” He whispered the last word.

“I hate you,” the blond said, glaring at him with swirling red eyes. The raven closed his eyes in pain. “I hate you for doing this to me.”

Cruel lips covered his own, and his eyes opened in shock. “Fuck, why can’t I let you go?” he felt, more than heard, the words whispered against him. Hope flared, and he kissed back with all the passion he had kept restrained for five years.

Sasuke leaned into the kiss, tongue sliding hotly against the blond’s. Rough hands unbelted his top, pushing the material to the side and baring his chest. They pressed against his skin firmly, sliding down to push his pants and underwear out of the way. He kicked them off impatiently.

Naruto sucked on his lower lip before licking and biting down his neck. He tilted his head back to give him better access. He knew he would have bite marks later, and he was glad. When the blond reached his shoulder and bit down sharply on his curse seal, simultaneously grabbing his cock, he cried out, arching off the wall. Shudders wracked his body as the tan fist pumped him leisurely.

“Na-Naruto!” he gasped, his hands clenching into the chain connecting his wrists. He hadn’t been lying when he told the other man he hadn’t been with anyone for the past five years. No one had touched him down there in so long that he was in danger of coming in seconds. 

“Ah, shit! I’m going to—” The hand stilled, leaving him on the precipice. 

“What – no!” He thrust his hips forward, trying to recreate that amazing feeling, but a strong grip kept him back.

A whisper against his neck. “Fuck, I wasn’t going to do this. Why can’t I control myself around you?” Sasuke would have laughed if he’d been able. He asked himself that same question all the time. 

The blond started stroking him at a punishing pace, and he knew he just needed another second…

“Fuck!” he cried when the hand stopped once again.

“Shh, shh…I’m not letting you come so quickly, Teme.” He gritted his teeth.

“Naruto,” he began, but his voice dried up when that hand was pumping him again. One, two, three strokes, and he was on the edge again, teeth clenched, only to fall back when the movement stopped. 

“Shi-shit, Naruto!” he gasped. “Don’t stop!”

The blond’s other hand came up to toy with his nipple, and he groaned, hips jerking as a thrill of pleasure raced from his chest to his groin.

Slow licks against his collarbone. “Say please,” he heard.

Fuck, when had Naruto started talking in that deep, commanding voice?

The steady pumping resumed. 

“Ah!” He couldn’t stop the trembling wracking his body. Naruto’s leaned down and licked his nipple, pushing the tip of his tongue into the hard nub. 

“Uhhhhh,” Sasuke was shocked to realize that wanton sound had come from him. 

The shorter man sucked it into his mouth, his hand making a tight, painful circle against the base of his cock, preventing him from coming at the intense sensation. 

“Pl-please,” he whispered, eyes closed in shame, barely audible. He felt the feral grin against his chest. He barely had time to scowl before all feelings of anger vanished in a tidal wave of pleasure. The blond rose up and bit him harshly on the curse seal once again, his hand moving forcefully.

“Naruto!” he cried out, shuddering violently as an intense orgasm hit him, his eyes wide and unfocused. He swore he could see bright flashes of light cross his vision.

His breathing eventually began to slow down, and he realized the shorter man was sucking on his neck gently, one hand rubbing his side reassuringly, the other still grasping his half-hard penis.

Sasuke flushed when he realized the blond was still completely clothed and hard. Naruto leaned back and caught his expression, smiling evilly. 

“Don’t worry, Teme. We’re not through yet.” 

Oh fuck, his cock twitched at the look in those eyes. 

Keeping eye contact, the blond let go of his cock and slowly slipped two come-covered fingers into his mouth, sucking them gently. Enthralled by the view, Sasuke didn’t even realize he groaned when a shiny pink tongue peeked out between the two fingers.

“Mmmmm,” Naruto sighed. “You taste incredible.” He dropped slowly to his knees. “I want more.” Lust-shrouded blue eyes stared up at him, and that amazing tongue came out to leisurely swipe at the tip of his cock. 

Shit, it hurt to get hard that fast after an orgasm!

Naruto held his cock with his hand and started licking the tip, occasionally fucking the slit with his tongue. Sasuke seriously wondered if he was going to come from the visual stimulus alone.

Then the blond deep-throated him. He gasped at the tight constriction around him, steadily leaking pre-come as Naruto began to bob his head. 

“Naruto,” he whispered, watching those plump lips surround him in a daze. The shorter man’s other hand came up to play with his balls, his middle finger rubbing along his perineum. Shit, that felt too good. His head fell back with a thud against the wall.

All too quickly he could feel the tightening that heralded another orgasm. Wildly he thought five years of abstinence was worth it if this was his reward. His hips began to piston into that wet heat, and the blond let him fuck his mouth, even when he hit the back of the other man’s throat. 

“What the fuck!” he yelled when all sensation suddenly stopped.

His eyes popped open in disbelief, and he glared down at the smug cerulean eyes peering up at him. 

“I told you, Teme,” Naruto rasped, and Sasuke shuddered at knowing what had caused his voice to be so scratchy, “We’re not through yet. That ‘please’ was nice, but I am going to have you begging me to fuck you before we’re through. That first orgasm was just to get the edge off.”

His knees threatened to buckle.

“Don’t worry,” the kneeling man added, his eyes cold for an instant. “Unlike you, I’ll make sure you enjoy every minute.”

“Naruto, I—” the raven began, but his voice died out in shock when the blond lifted both his legs, spreading them wide. Naruto’s thumbs and forefingers were splayed so the edges of his hands pushed his knees up and the rest of his fingers gripped his thighs. The chains jangled as all his weight fell onto his hands and wrists. 

He flushed impossibly red at being so completely exposed in front of the other man, especially considering Naruto’s head was perfectly lined up to see everything. 

“Naruto!” he hissed, feeling incredibly vulnerable, and tried to close his legs, but the Jinchuuriki used his amazing strength to keep him open. 

“I want to see you, Sasuke. Don’t fight me.” The Uchiha winced as harsh hands squeezed his thighs painfully to emphasize his point. He could do this, he thought tightly, turning his head to the side and closing his eyes, not able to look in the other man’s face. He could stand a little humiliation if that’s what it took to make Naruto feel better. Indeed, his erection hadn’t flagged at all, even with the intense embarrassment. 

His resolve faltered though when he heard, “You’re so pretty, pretty, Sasuke. Have you ever had anything in this pretty little pink hole?”

Damn it, he hadn’t thought he could blush any harder. “Shut up, Dobe!” 

“It looks so tight and innocent, Teme.” He felt a puff of air against his entrance, causing him to tense up involuntarily. “Have you ever had anything driving inside of you, making you move, making you scream? Or is my cock going to be the first to breach this pretty hole?” His anus twitched at the words to his utter horror. He didn’t know if he could do this.

He refused to answer. 

“Sasuke? Tell me.” It was a command.

When it became apparent Naruto wasn’t going to continue until he responded, he finally ground out a reply, completely humiliated. “I’ve never—” He couldn’t finish the sentence, but it was enough for the blond. 

“Ah, Teme…” Hands tightened on his thighs, and he heard a lustful moan. “Look at me.”

The raven dragged his eyes down to glare down into impossible blue, hiding behind anger. “Nar—” 

“Naruto!” he cried out when the blond sucked a testicle into his mouth, rolling it around gently before treating doing the same to the other. Sasuke felt the tongue move downward, creating a wet trail down to—. He shook all over as a soft tongue licked over his anus, crying out it continued to move, wriggling against his puckered entrance and pushing in forcefully. 

How the hell could something so embarrassing feel so good? 

He cried out again and again as Naruto thrust his tongue in repeatedly and sucked at the skin around the entrance. His tongue pushed in further as Sasuke’s muscles relaxed, exploring his inner walls. The shackled man wondered if he could die from pleasure.

Tossing his head from side to side, his legs strained against the hands holding them, trying to get closer to that amazing mouth. It was almost liberating to have his hands tied – it gave him the license to give into the sensations assaulting him, to succumb to the blond’s wicked ministrations. He vaguely realized he was chanting the other man’s name.

“Fuck, Sasuke, you’re so hot. I wanna come just from listening to you.”

"No! Don't stop!" he pleaded. Just a little bit more, he thought desperately. He pushed his hips forward lewdly, wanting more, needing more.

“Dammit!” Naruto hissed. He dropped the raven’s legs, ignoring the whine the other man made, and stood up, walking over to the table next to the bed and grabbing something before walking back to the heavily panting man tied to the wall. He hurriedly undid his pants, letting them fall to his thighs, and pulled out his impressive erection.

Sasuke’s eyes widened as he looked down. Not only had the blond gotten taller, but other parts of him had grown since the last time the Uchiha had seen him as well. 

The blond grabbed his legs again, and said, “Wrap them around my waist.” He complied, although he felt a frisson of trepidation at the thought of having the other man inside of him. Naruto was huge! Fuck, the dobe was going to split him in half. He tensed automatically in preparation, although he made no move to push the shorter man away. He would do whatever he had to in order to prove his sincerity to the other man.

“Relax,” Naruto whispered, oiling his fingers generously. “I already told you, you’re going to love this.”

Sasuke scoffed. “Che, Dobe, whatever. Get on with it.” At least things had been pleasurable up until now.

Naruto flashed a feral grin. “You are going to be begging me in a minute, Teme. And I am going to enjoy every second of it.” 

The blond used one oil-coated hand to pump the raven’s arousal, paying careful attention to the sensitive tip. When Sasuke arched into the touch, he slipped one finger inside the older man, moving it around and pumping it to coat his inner passage. 

The one finger was actually kind of nice, the Uchiha decided, adding another layer of sensation to the experience.

The blond added another finger slowly. Sasuke controlled his urge to squirm from the feeling. 

Okay, two wasn’t quite as nice. He winced as Naruto began scissoring and spreading his fingers. The younger man rubbed the head of his penis with his palm in slick circles, causing Sasuke to gasp. 

As his muscles relaxed and the fingers began to move more smoothly, he thought, _“Well, maybe two wasn’t sooo bad.”_

“Fuck!” Never mind. Two were really, really good! 

The blond was smirking in triumph as he rubbed his fingers over the other man’s prostate again and again, the raven jerking violently with each brush.

When the shorter man inserted a third finger, he felt a short burning sensation, but it was quickly lost in the pleasure. By the time Naruto had finished preparing him, he was riding the fingers, his whole body moving sinuously as he tried to get them deeper.

Sasuke was breathing in harsh, quick pants. When the blond removed his fingers, he protested, feeling empty.

“I told you,” Naruto gasped, lining his oiled erection up to enter the bound man. 

“Shut up,” he huffed. The other man laughed, a joyous, carefree sound that managed to distract him from his lust. He hadn’t heard the blond laugh like that in years.

But even that thought was swept away as the shorter man pushed inside him. The raven arched back convulsively as gravity helped to bring him down completely onto the hard shaft inside of him. 

“Ah!” It was too much…Naruto was too big…he couldn’t… The Uchiha wriggled, helpless sounds falling from his mouth, uncomfortably impaled on the blond’s throbbing cock. He felt like he was being split in two! A few tears fell from the corners of his eyes, unnoticed.

“Shit, don’t do that, Teme!” Sasuke stilled as the hands supporting his thighs clenched down. It still hurt like hell, but the discomfort was slowly starting to fade, and he felt a twinge of power as he watched the dobe’s face contort with pleasure when he shifted.

“Too much for you, Baka?” he sneered, all his muscles tensed from trying to not push the other man out. 

Naruto’s eyes snapped open, and his grip on the raven’s legs tightened. “You never know when to stop, do you, Teme?”

Sasuke opened his mouth to reply, but a scream of pain and pleasure came out instead as the blond lifted him up and slammed him back down, forcing himself past the initial resistance. Oh fuck, he had never felt anything like this before!

The chain jangled a harsh melody as Naruto began to fuck the Uchiha in earnest, ramming into him again and again with hard, deep strokes and using gravity to push all the way inside. The blond kept adjusting his strokes, until he found a position that had Sasuke screaming with every hit.

“You’re so tight and hot, Sasuke,” Naruto panted breathlessly into his ear. His face flushed, even as he moaned at the words. “No one’s ever been in this ass before. No one’s ever touched you like this, fucked you like this.” A low feral growl. “It’s mine now. _You’re_ mine now.” 

The raven whimpered at the words, unable to say anything as his breath escaped explosively with each powerful thrust inside of him.

He could feel his anus burning as the shorter man sawed into him. Even when the thrusts became smoother as his muscles relaxed further, the almost-painful sensation lingered. It was such an intense feeling. His legs tightened around the other man’s waist as he began to match the blond’s movements. Combined with the ruthless hits against his prostate, he knew he was going to come harder than he ever had before.

Naruto released one thigh to harshly grasp the base of his cock again and stopped his actions. His eyes widened in horror as he felt his orgasm fade back.

“No, no, no, no, no,” he moaned. He tried to push himself down onto the hard erection inside of him, but cruel hands prevented him. “Fuck! So close, so close! Naruto! Oh fuck, please!”

The blond leaned in, nipping his lips lightly before kissing him. He poured himself into the kiss, trying to convey his desperation. Naruto continued to torture him, however, pulling back to gentle their kiss and leisurely moving his tongue against the other man’s. He whined in impatience. 

The younger man moved his hands to beneath Sasuke’s knees, pushing his spread legs up to display him once again. His breath caught at the change in position as the thick shaft inside of him brushed new places, and his thighs tensed.

Naruto pushed the Uchiha’s legs up until they were framing his chest and leaned back. He began to thrust once again, a slow and careful movement that did nothing to sooth the craving inside of the raven. 

Sasuke glared at the blond, but the other man wasn’t looking at his face. He blushed furiously as he realized Naruto was watching his cock disappear inside of him.

“Your ass is swallowing all of me, Teme. Fuck, such a pretty little hole. So tight.”

His eyelids fluttered, and he moaned, “Naruto, please.” 

“Louder,” he heard. He snarled.

The other man moved his head down to bite sharply onto his curse seal, simultaneously plunging directly into his prostate, and he screamed, shaking wildly. “Louder!” Pride deserted him.

“Please, oh, gods, please, Naruto! Fuck me, nghn, Naruto!” 

Naruto began driving into him, even harder and faster than before. The clanking of his manacles as his back hit the wall and his continued begging accompanied the sound of flesh hitting flesh. 

As the blond found his prostate and brutally struck it repeatedly, he could feel lightening sparks licking all along his body, and he knew it wouldn’t take much more to send him flying. When Naruto leaned in to kiss him, his arousal rubbed between their stomachs, and it was too much. He came, screaming over and over again, his come hitting his and Naruto’s necks and chests. Distantly he felt the blond shudder before a spreading warmth flooded his insides. 

When he finally regained his senses, he was hanging limply, his bowed head on Naruto’s shoulder and his legs draped loosely over the other man’s elbows. He didn’t know what this meant for them or where things would go from there, but for a moment at least, it was enough.

Outside the room, Shin stood facing away from the door, his face unreadable. The Council would have to know about this.

1 Kioshi means “quiet”


	9. Chapter 9

He had never been so embarrassed in his entire life, Naruto decided, flushing red just thinking about it. It had to be said. He, Uzumaki Naruto, the nine-tailed demon fox carrier, the leader in everything but name of the Hidden Village of Rain, was a scaredy-cat. 

He groaned loudly as he hid far, far away from Sasuke, his back against the wall as he sat on the ground.

It had been two days since he’d had sex with the other man. Two days of see-sawing emotions and avoidance. Then he had seen Sasuke approaching him while he was brooding on a rooftop. Bam! Just like that, the mighty had fallen. 

Eyes as wide as saucers, he had performed Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, and he and his clones had run away in different directions. Run away! Run from the stupid teme like a frightened school girl.

He groaned louder. 

What had he been thinking? Where had all his normal bravado gone?

Apparently completely out the window, just like his sanity and good sense. Why did he have sex with Sasuke? He banged the back of his head against the wall.

_Thunk, thunk, thunk._

And damn, the sex had been incredible! He had never felt anything like that before, the heat, the passion. He shivered. If it had been that good before, he didn’t know if he would’ve left Konoha. Sasuke would’ve had complete control over him.

How was it that he’d been the one to pound the teme into the wall, but now he was the one desperately wanting more?

What… _thunk_ …had… _thunk_ …he… _thunk_ …been… _thunk_ …thinking?

Five years! Five years of getting away from the raven, and in the blink of an eye, he was right back to where he had started, uncertain of where he stood with the other man, wanting him but wishing he didn’t, lusting after him and not knowing what it would take to be with him again.

 _Fuck, I can't do this again_ , he thought in despair, hands clenching in his hair as he stared up at the ceiling, eyes unseeing. The constant up and down with Sasuke, the doubt, the fear – they would break him again if he let them. It was too much, too much. If he fell in love with the Uchiha again, _if I ever truly fell out of love in the first place_ , he thought bitterly, it would shatter him completely. There would be too many broken pieces. He wouldn’t be able to pull himself together another time. 

Sasuke had said he loved him, had offered to become a missing-nin for him. But could he believe the raven? The older man had acted caring when they had first gotten together all those years ago. It had only been later that he’d changed, when he had been certain of Naruto's feelings. He didn’t know what to think anymore, what to believe. He had spent so much time building himself back up into a man who could survive on his own, and now… Now, he was on the brink of losing it all again.

He had spent five years remaking himself. Five years convincing himself that he was over the other man, over the broken bonds he had left behind. Five years lying to himself. And now, after just days in Sasuke’s presence, he was doubting everything, wanting things he had thought he’d given up on years ago.

So he was a coward. He admitted it, if only to himself. But he couldn’t bear to see Sasuke now.

\---------------------

Naruto didn’t know how long he’d been sitting the dusty room when he felt the familiar chakra signature coming towards him.

He waited, arms resting on his bent knees.

“Shin,” he greeted the other man. He wasn’t surprised the brunet had found him. He was hiding in their headquarters, the building Sasuke had broken into when he’d first gotten to Imba, and Shin had a genjutsu on the building after all; he would know Naruto had entered it.

“Kioshi-sama,” the Rain ninja answered formally, going down to one knee and bending his head.

The blond looked at him in surprise. Shin never acted like that around him. Hell, he didn’t think the brunet had used the honorific with him once before. What was going on?

“The Council respectfully requests your presence, Kioshi-sama.”

Of course. Naruto sighed, pushing aside thoughts of the other man’s odd behavior. So that’s where Shin had been these past two days. He normally saw the longhaired man at least once a day for shinobi-related or personal matters. He’d been too busy avoiding Sasuke to dwell on it, but he should’ve known the Rain ninja would’ve reported in when he was so conspicuously absent after leaving Sasuke alone with him the other day. 

He flushed momentarily. It wasn’t like Sasuke and he had been quiet, and Shin had probably guessed easily enough what was going on in the room.

He had forgotten that there would be political repercussions to his actions. He was in a position of power now, and his actions, even those in his personal life, would be seen and judged. His momentary lapse of sanity was no excuse. 

He stood, wiping all expression from his face. “Let’s go.”

\-----------------------------

The two shinobi ran through the forest in complete silence, leaving no evidence of their passing. Naruto wanted to ask what to expect, but Shin’s odd behavior made him refrain. He knew he would get his answers soon enough, so he waited patiently. Not one of his strong suits, true, but something he had learned to do over the years. At least this sudden rush to Hidden Rain would give him the distance he needed away from Sasuke. He actually felt himself relax a little as they neared the ninja village.

Whatever it was, it couldn’t be too bad. Shin had made no move to attack him and was acting respectful, if distant. It looked like the lover he had known for the past few years was gone, replaced by a coolly proficient, professional warrior. He felt a moment’s pang of loss but dismissed it with a force of will. He had always known this was a temporary affair.

All too soon, they arrived. To neither man’s surprise, it was raining. Naruto ignored the minor discomfort as they flitted through the industrialized village. They made it to the tallest tower in the city, Pein’s former headquarters, and waited to be received. 

The blond looked at the other man, ignoring the guards in the room. “Shin,” he said quietly, “I want you to know that—”

“Kioshi,” Shin interrupted, looking at the ground and speaking just as softly. “I need to apologize.” 

At Naruto’s puzzled look, he continued. “I know you’re aware that I am the Council’s agent.” He saw the shorter man nod out of the corner of his eye. “When Uchiha came to Imba,” he ignored the startled flinch Naruto made as he realized Shin had known Sasuke’s identity all along, “I really hoped that you were serious when you said he would leave soon. I sent messenger birds to the Council to inform them of his presence, but I advised them to not press matters and let you work it out for yourself. I thought you’d be able to finally put your past to rest.” 

He overrode the blond’s attempts to speak. “But as time progressed and he continued to linger, I began to realize that for all your complaints, a part of you was happy to have contact with the Hidden Leaf.”

“Now wait—” 

“After what happened a few days ago, I realized I had to warn the Council that immediate action was required. So, I am sorry that I had to put my duty before my friendship with you.” At last the Rain ninja looked at Naruto in the eyes, and the latter could see the sincere regret in them. “But we need you, Kioshi, here, in Hidden Rain, and I can’t let Uchiha take you from us.”

Naruto was kept from responding when the main doors opened, and one of the leading Council members came outside to greet them.

“Inoue-san,” Naruto murmured in greeting. He bowed slightly to the older man. Normally he would’ve grinned and joked around, but he could tell by the set of the other man’s shoulders that this was a time to be serious.

“Kioshi-san,” Inoue-san said, looking tired but determined, “I am so glad that Shin-san was able to bring you back so quickly. Please come inside.”

Naruto followed the man back into the main room, the door closing behind him. So it was just to be him and Inoue-san. He glanced around the room although he had been in it many times before.

It was sparsely furnished, just a large desk with shelves loaded with scrolls on one end and two couches on either side of small table on the other. The walls had a few decorative scrolls, but that was all. Naruto didn’t know if Pein had kept it that way or if the Council had torn things down after the Akatsuki member had fallen.

“We thought it best if I spoke to you alone. I hope that meets with your approval?” Naruto shrugged, sitting on a couch across from the older man and hiding his slight nervousness. Of all the Council members, he liked Inoue-san the most, even if he was a bit longwinded. He had always been the most open to the Jinchuuriki from the first, and they shared a joy of laughter and practical jokes. Although, he noted absently, there was no amusement twinkling in the older man’s eyes right now. 

“Good. Kioshi-san,” he began, “As I am sure Shin-san revealed, we have heard disturbing reports of the presence of a Leaf ninja in the village where you are staying.”

The blond nodded his head but didn’t offer any reasons as to why the Uchiha was still around. There were no excuses after all. 

Inoue-san waited for a moment, but when no other response was forthcoming, he continued. “Please understand that the members of the Council would normally refrain from interfering in your personal affairs. They are, after all, your own business. But fraternizing with an enemy nin, even if he was a member of your previous village – _especially_ if he was from your previous village – is a cause for concern.”

Naruto didn’t always understand all the big words the older man used, or his pompous way of talking, but he got the gist of it. He thought.

“Please stop, Inoue-san, I know what you are planning to say. But the other ninja will be leaving Imba soon, I promise.” He leaned forward, radiating sincerity. “It’s just been a shock to see someone from my past, and I made stupid decisions, but I love Rain Country and the people here and—”

“And that, Kioshi-san, is what I called you here to discuss.” Naruto looked at him in puzzlement.

“In the short time that you’ve been with us, you have demonstrated a fierce loyalty and courageousness that leave the lifelong citizens of Rain humble.” The older man looked at the blond intently. “We have been impressed with the level of commitment you have displayed, and for quite some time now, we’ve been discussing your future status within Hidden Rain.”

Naruto’s eyes widened as he began to get an inkling of where the conversation was going. He leaned back, almost as if to avoid the next words.

“After deep reflection and long debate, we have decided that it would be presumptuous of us beyond belief if we did not accept the gift that has been given to us in our time of need. That is why, Kioshi-san, the Council would like to offer you the position of leader of Hidden Rain.”

“What?” the younger man asked blankly. He had definitely not been expecting this when Shin had first summoned him to the village. “But I thought…” he trailed off, confused.

If Inoue-san was disappointed by his reaction, he didn’t show it. “Of course, there would be a few provisions to your acceptance. First, we would expect the Leaf ninja to return to Konoha. Immediately. Naturally, we would provide an escort for him to ensure he returned safely. We wouldn’t want to harm relations with Hidden Leaf after all.” 

Naruto nodded reluctantly, understanding the implicit threat behind the words.

“Second, as Hidden Rain’s new leader, you would use the tower here as your office. Suitable living accommodations would be provided.” 

So he would have to leave Imba.

“As you can imagine, this was a unanimous decision for us, but there were one or two members who were initially hesitant to offer this position to someone who wasn’t born in the village. So, last but not least, in order to cement your leadership, we would request that you choose a wife and be married within six months of your ascension.” 

Naruto looked at him in complete disbelief. While he’d had several male lovers, he was actually bisexual, not gay. He’d had a crush on Sak - well, he’d had crushes on women before and even slept with a couple. It’s just that missing-nin were typically male, and since he’d avoided relationships with civilians, it meant his partners were normally men. But a wife? Six months? What?

“Those members who expressed qualms agreed that a family would ensure your continued allegiance to Hidden Rain. Although, of course, we would never doubt your loyalty once you accept. However, an added benefit to your marriage would be the continuation of your strong bloodline which can only be a boon to the village.” 

Children? He would have children? He had never thought that he would be allowed that luxury. The Council in Konoha would’ve definitely not wanted him to have kids.

“I understand if you are slightly overwhelmed by the suddenness of our proposal. We realized, however, that events were being set in motion that would decide the future of Hidden Rain, and unless we acted immediately, we could lose you.” 

Naruto looked at the older man in a daze. Inoue-san sighed, a long wheeze of air that expressed more clearly than words his age and exhaustion. He leaned forward on the couch and looked the blond in the eye.

“The Konoha ninja was an unexpected and frightening complication. You never would have permitted another ninja, a spy, so much free reign in Imba. You would never have allowed someone from Wind or Grass such license, but anytime Shin-san would mention the Uchiha, you would immediately become defensive and ignore his counsel. Although none of us know the full reason behind your decision to defect from Hidden Leaf, when it became clear the ninja was not attempting to restrain or kill you, we realized that you might actually have the ability to return to your previous village unscathed. And as time went on, we understood that you might have the desire as well.”

He sighed again tiredly. “We have been discussing the potential ramifications of his presence and your assumption of leadership for the past few days, almost non-stop. Much time and deliberation have been put into this decision, Kioshi-san, and we truly hope that you will make the right decision, not only for yourself but for Hidden Rain as well.”

Inoue-san stood up and clapped his hands. “But where are my manners? Let me get us some refreshments so that we may be more comfortable. If you will excuse me?” he asked.

Naruto blinked at him, and he seemed to think that was enough of an answer, leaving the room, presumably in search of food.

The blond sat alone in the large room, his thoughts awhirl. 

For a minute, he wondered if he were dreaming. Everything that he had once longed for was within his reach. Leadership of the village, even if it was Rain and not Leaf. A wife and children. Respect. Acceptance.

But if he agreed, he would never be able to go back to Konoha. He would never see any of his old friends again except for the occasional political function. 

He would never be with Sasuke again. 

He smiled humorlessly at the pang in his chest. Even though he said time and time again that he had left the past behind him, he had somehow managed to keep a small hope alive. It was why he had always avoided the question of leadership before this, why he kept his headquarters in Imba, why he had kept his personal attachments to a minimum. Because a part of him still belonged to Konoha…and Sasuke.

But he knew deep down inside that he could never go back. Missing-nin were not accepted back to their villages, no matter what the teme or Inoue-san implied. He had left without permission and without explanation. On top of that, the people of the Hidden Leaf village had hated him all his life – they wouldn’t want him to return. Even his old friends couldn’t be expected to want him back after he’d abandoned them all without a single word for five years. 

But Hidden Rain wanted him. The people here had never mocked him, had never hated him. Not only were they asking him to be their leader, they wanted him to join his blood to theirs as well. They’d given him a home when he’d had none, and they’d cared for him when he was all alone. He had sworn to protect them.

And he would never have to see Sasuke again.

There really was only one choice for him to make.

\--------------

Sasuke sat at one of the tables outside the grocery store, waiting. Eventually the dobe would have to talk to him. He wasn’t trying to hide after all.

The raven sighed, troubled. He had hoped after they’d had sex that the blond would be more receptive to him, but it seemed to have had the opposite effect. Not only was Naruto avoiding him, but the one time he had seen him, he had run away, fear and panic evident in his eyes. It was the fear that had stopped Sasuke from pursuing him.

Not one of the passersby on the street or the customers in the market could tell by even a twitch of his features the turmoil inside of the seemingly relaxed man on the bench. Why couldn’t things ever be easy with Naruto? What was he deciding now in the aftermath of their being together?

Sasuke forced himself away from the troubling line of thought. He preferred to linger instead on more enjoyable memories from the other day. 

A small flush covered his cheeks momentarily as he recalled the blond’s words and actions that day. He shivered as he relived the feelings of submission and pleasure. If he’d known that being with Naruto was that good, he would never have let the younger man go.

After Naruto had released him from his restraints, the shorter man had laid him down on the bed and cleaned him with a washcloth and tepid water from a pitcher in the room. He had been too exhausted to do anything, and once the endorphins had worn off, much too sore to move around easily. He’d watched through half-lidded eyes as his dobe had finished cleaning them up and arranged the blankets around him. 

“Take a nap, Sasuke,” the blond had said, rubbing his arm soothingly. Blue eyes had been hidden by auburn-tinged hair, but he had heard the concern and affection in the voice. “You’ll feel better when you wake up.”

He saw a flash of teeth as the other man smiled softly. “If you’re willing to risk it, I can try to heal you a little bit. I’m not great at medical stuff, but I’ve learned a few things in the past few years, and I think I can at least make you more comfortable.”

The raven had murmured his agreement, already falling asleep, and the last memory he had was of gentle hands resting on his body.

When he had woken up, however, the other man had been gone. That had been five days ago.

Sasuke still didn’t like how vulnerable he had allowed himself to be, both physically and emotionally, but if it would bring Naruto back to him…he would do whatever was necessary to get Naruto to love him again.

Love, he thought, frightened and thrilled by the word. It was such a small word to encompass the wealth of feeling behind it. It was the reason Naruto had stayed with him through all the abuse, the reason Sasuke couldn’t let go of him now.

The Uchiha noticed the Rain ninja approaching from down the street. A group of five shinobi surrounded someone in the middle. He stood when he glimpsed the person the others were inadvertently concealing. 

The man was wearing Kage robes. Technically, Hidden Rain didn’t have a Kage. Rain Country, and thus Hidden Rain, was too small. However, every shinobi leader wore the flowing robes and broad, cloth-covered hat during times of state to symbolize his or her authority. And if someone were wearing them now, that meant a new leader had been chosen. There was only one person that could be.

“Naruto,” he whispered in shock as the group of men stopped in front of him. The blond was looking at him directly, his eyes and face impassive. 

“Uchiha Sasuke,” he said, “Since we have hopes of rebuilding our alliance with Hidden Leaf, I will forgive your presence in the village of Imba on the condition you leave immediately. These two ninja,” he gestured to the two men closest to the raven, “Will accompany you to the border of Fire Country. Please inform the Hokage that we will be sending a message to her soon.” With those abrupt words, he started to turn away. He paused for just a second, his voice gentle as he said, “Good-bye, Sasuke.”

Within his farewell, the Uchiha could hear echoes of underlying meaning. _I’m sorry…you’re too late...I don’t want you anymore...I’ve chosen Hidden Rain over you…I don’t love you._

“Naruto!” Sasuke barked when the other man turned away, his Sharingan spinning wildly in his anger. “What—”

“I’m getting married in six months,” the blond said, his back to the Uchiha. 

The raven actually jerked in response to the news, the Sharingan shattering. 

And Naruto walked away, leaving Sasuke alone behind him.


	10. Chapter 10

_Four months later_

Naruto fidgeted in anxiety behind his mask as they approached Konoha. It would be the first time he would see any of his old friends in five years, and he was a nervous wreck.

After assuming leadership of Hidden Rain, one of his first priorities had been to reestablish relations with the village’s previous allies: Grass, Leaf, Sand and Waterfall.

Needless to say, it was an extremely difficult undertaking. He had sent out messages to the four villages announcing his new position, but the responses he’d received had been less than positive.

Leaf and Sand hadn’t replied at all, and Grass’s reply scroll had been chilly at best. Waterfall had been the only one who’d responded semi-positively, and Naruto was sure that was in part because they were farther away than the rest of the villages, so had been impacted the least by Pein’s leadership and the recent skirmishes.

Although daimyo controlled each of the countries, the ninja villages were basically separate entities. There was always a fine balance of power between the daimyo and the village leaders even though, technically, the hidden villages were under civil control. Tsunade had deferred to the Fire Lord, but he had never been idiotic enough to actually order her to do anything – he’d suggested and implied things instead.

Naruto refused to become some sort of tyrant like Pein before him, so once he’d assumed leadership of Amegakure, he’d ordered the ninja under him to stop attacking foreign army detachments. One of the reasons his men had been so effective in the past was that they used guerrilla tactics. Once the element of surprise was gone, their smaller numbers would have a hard time combating the intruders, however, he knew it had to be done. He was technically a government official now, and his actions would have larger political repercussions, reflecting on the Rain daimyo and possibly leading to a war that Rain Country wasn’t prepared for.

Allying with the surrounding hidden villages would be very helpful in preventing war. They could exert influence with their daimyo to keep soldiers out of Rain Country, and strong alliances would keep enemy ninja villages from attacking Ame. 

Which lead him to the reason he was now approaching the familiar gates he had lived behind for most of his life. He had finally received a reply from both Sand and Leaf. The two villages had been deeply entwined ever since Team 7 had saved the Kazekage’s life, and they were willing to speak with him about a potential alliance. However, they wanted to do it face to face in Konoha.

The Council had been violently opposed to his going back for the meeting. They argued for a neutral location or for Leaf and Sand to come to Hidden Rain to no avail. Konoha and Suna were powerful villages, and Ame was asking a favor from them, so Naruto would have to go where they wanted him to. 

The blond himself was very unhappy about the trip, wondering if he should suspect a trap, but he knew he had to go. Rain needed their help. Besides, he was leader of a ninja village now, and that superseded his missing-nin status. He hoped.

So here he was. This trip should take a week at most, and once he returned to Ame, he was getting married. Naruto clenched his robes, releasing them quickly when he realized what he was doing. He’d been too busy to exactly go out and meet someone, so he’d agreed to marry whomever the Council chose. He knew he should be happy with their selection.

Aika-chan was beautiful. She had long, flowing chestnut hair that reached to her knees when it was unbound. Her eyes were gorgeous, clear green pools that shimmered in the light. Her features were perfect, symmetrical and delicate. She was a head shorter than he was, so on the few times he’d embraced her, she had fit into his arms perfectly. She was also from the strongest ninja family in the village. 

She was also Shin’s sister. He groaned thinking about it. It made things a little…awkward…to say the least, but Shin seemed fine with it. Although the longhaired man would tease him occasionally about “keeping it all in the family.” He was joking…at least Naruto assumed he was. Besides, he had agreed to whatever the Council decided, and it would be difficult to explain his hesitation.

The biggest problem, however, was not her relation to his past lover. It was simply that she was not the one he wanted.

He’d been too busy over the past few months to spare much thought for Sasuke, but when he did, he always regretted the abrupt goodbye he had said to the other man. He’d been too nervous at the time though to say much, and he’d wanted to get out of the situation as fast as possible. Admittedly, part of the reason he had accepted Inoue-san’s proposal was simply to get away from the other man. 

Looking back, he still thought he’d made the best decision, but it didn’t stop him from having certain regrets. He wondered if he would see the Uchiha in the next few days, but he dismissed the thought hurriedly. It didn’t matter if he did or didn’t. That’s not why he was here.

They had finally arrived at the gates. Shin stepped forward to speak to the Leaf Anbu. Naruto was accompanied by the longhaired ninja and three other shinobi. He wore his official robes and hat with a cloth mask to cover his face. Only his eyes were visible. He had thought that best until he actually reached the Hokage’s office. He didn’t know if Tsunade wanted to keep his identity secret. 

He glanced at the Anbu quickly but didn’t recognize them which he was grateful for. He knew he was still running, but he didn’t want to face his old friends and see condemnation in their eyes. The faster this meeting was over with, the better. 

He watched in silence as a new guard approached. Even from this distance, he could see the distinctive long hair held back by a hitai-ate. Hyuuga Neji.

Neji approached his group, and bowed low before him.

“Kioshi-sama,” he murmured. “I apologize for the delay, but we were expecting you later this afternoon.” So, Tsunade hadn’t let people know who Kioshi was. It was better that way, he thought, ignoring the voice at the back of his mind that disagreed with him.

Naruto inclined his head slightly but didn’t speak. He knew that his chakra pathways had changed after he started merging with Kyuubi, so even the Hyuuga’s Byakugan shouldn’t be able to discover his real identity, but he didn’t want to do or say anything that would tempt Neji to take a “look.”

“Please follow me.” Thankfully, Neji understood that he didn’t want to talk, so it was a quiet group that walked to the Hokage tower. Naruto avoided looking around to see what had changed in his absence. He kept his eyes firmly fixed before him and ignored the curious glances in their direction. 

_Just a few days, he thought, and then I can go back home_.

All too soon they were standing in front of the doors to Tsunade’s office, and Naruto completely forgot Neji as he tried to prepare himself to see the woman who had been a surrogate mother and older sister for him. _I can do this._

When Neji opened the door, Naruto’s first thought was, _“Oh fuck…”_

Not only were Tsunade and Gaara in the room, but so were Sasuke, Kakashi, Kankurou and Temari. Four ninja to match the four he had brought with him. But shit, why these particular four? 

Shin whispered, “Kioshi-sama?” when Naruto stopped one foot away from the door.

The blond jerked slightly before continuing to walk into the room. He refused to look at the Uchiha, and he kept his gaze on the Hokage and Kazekage who were standing directly in front of him. They both looked the same as the last time he had seen them. His men arrayed themselves in a line behind him as he walked forward.

He heard the door close behind him and saw Kakashi performing a sound barrier jutsu. He waited until he felt it take effect before pulling the cloth mask down to reveal his face. No one displayed any surprise at seeing him.

“Hokage-san, Kazekage-san,” he said, bowing to both.

“Naruto,” Tsunade said, noticing the lack of familiarity in the greeting. Where was the old “baa-chan” the gaki had always used before? He was treating them like strangers. 

Gaara just nodded, jade eyes watching him closely.

Naruto caught a flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye right before the room was suddenly filled with Konoha ninja. He heard outraged yells from his men as they were surrounded, but he didn’t take his eyes off the two people in front of him.

“What’s this about?” he asked calmly, even as anger and betrayal coursed through him.

Tsunade gaze was firm, even as it held a hint of sadness. “Konoha’s Council has decided that we cannot allow an S-class missing-nin to be in charge of Hidden Rain.”

Naruto’s eyes narrowed. Inoue-san had assured him that Konoha would have to recognize him as the new leader of Ame. Although he was technically a criminal for leaving his home, everyone was supposed to conveniently ignore that fact since he had obtained such a high position in another village. They could do little else without causing a war. While it was a bit of a slap in the face for Rain to elevate him so, at the time, Konoha and Ame hadn’t been allies. There had been no need to ask for permission.

The Council member had also been confident that even if the Leaf village decided to refuse an alliance, they wouldn’t move in on him during truce talks. That would be incredibly damaging to them, because it would show a complete lack of honor. No other village would be able to trust them.

And truthfully, Naruto wasn’t prepared for the turn of events because he had never thought all his old friends would turn their backs on him like this. Apparently, he had always put too much faith in people.

“Is the problem that I am an S-class missing-nin?” the blond asked bitterly. “Or that I am a Jinchuuriki?”

Tsunade’s glance slipped away for just an instant. It was enough of an answer.

“And you, Gaara?” the blond’s words were accusing. “Is that your reason as well?”

The redhead looked at him coolly, ignoring the pain in the question. “I am sorry, Uzumaki Naruto, but I cannot allow you to stay in Ame.”

Naruto’s eyes glowed red. “Do you really think you could keep me here? Maybe you could eventually kill me,” he said, his voice expressing his disbelief, “But Konoha would be destroyed in the process.”

Tsunade’s fists clenched in anger, but all she said was, “You would never harm Konoha, Naruto. Even after all that the people here have done to you, you still love this village.”

“Don’t try and tell me what I will or won’t do!” he roared, one hand lashing out to cut off her words. “I’ve had to do many things I’ve regretted over the years in order to survive. You don’t know me anymore, Tsunade!”

“Maybe not, Dobe, but I do.” Naruto flinched when Sasuke moved to stand next to the Hokage. Considering all the strong-willed and opinionated people in the room, it was a surprise no one else had spoken up before this. Apparently Tsunade and Gaara had told them to stay out of the discussion. Why though, when someone finally decided to talk, did it have to be him?

“Even though you may despise the Council, Tsunade, me…you would never harm the civilians here. You would never do anything to hurt your old friends. Iruka, Konohamaru, Kiba, Neji, Shikamaru, Chouji, Lee, Ino, Ten Ten – they’re all here.”

The younger man didn’t confirm or deny what the raven said. He simply looked at the Uchiha for a long moment, his eyes hard, before saying, “Wasn’t betraying me once enough for you?”

Sasuke didn’t respond, but the tightness around his eyes and mouth showed how clearly he wanted to.

Naruto looked at the two Kages again. “You do know that when I don’t come back, Hidden Rain will spread the word of your deceit. This is an act of war. No other village will ever trust you again. Is killing me really worth the deaths of so many shinobi?”

“We want to offer you a deal. Stay here, accept your punishment, and we will take care of Ame. Voluntarily renounce your position, and we will ally with the person selected to take your place. We will send food and money. We will help them rebuild. We will make sure they are not invaded again. And once Rain is able to support itself once again, we will withdraw all our ninja. They will have everything they need – as long as you remain here.”

Naruto laughed sardonically. “All of this for me? And if I refuse?” 

“Then we will force you to stay. Even if you manage to leave, Ame will have no allies. And eventually, it will fall. You have accomplished a tremendous amount there. No one denies that. But you cannot do enough by yourself to save the village. Even if you were to steal and invade other countries, Rain Country is too small to win by itself. It would be torn apart, and eventually, nothing would be left.”

“Hidden Rain won’t just let you bully them into accepting my sudden disappearance,” he said. “I won’t allow you to kill my men, and when they go back, our Council will hear about all of this.”

“No, the sound jutsu barrier Kakashi created was for them alone. They haven’t heard a word we’ve said. If you agree to our conditions, you will have to convince them you are leaving of your own free will.”

Naruto was silent for a long time, his thoughts racing. A large part of him rebelled against allowing this to happen. How dare they? Did they really think he would just give in? But the other part of him wondered. Wasn’t it better to give his life to defend his village? His life in trade for the hundreds in Ame. It wasn’t the glorious death in battle he’d always imagined, but his sacrifice would be just as meaningful.

“Well?” Tsunade asked eventually.

“What other choice do I have?” the blond asked hollowly. “I accept your terms.” 

The obvious tension in the Hokage’s shoulders disappeared. “Good,” she said hoarsely. “Good.”

“But,” Naruto said, glaring at her, “I want to return to Hidden Rain first.” He continued to speak before she could voice an objection. “Two weeks. Give me two weeks to convince them I want to come back here. I have people I need to say goodbye to. I have a fiancé that I need to break up with. I will be back here in two weeks’ time. My word on it.”

She looked at him, weighing his words carefully. “Alright,” she said at last. 

“Hokage-sama,” Sasuke started, but she held up a hand to silence him. He fell back sullenly.

“Two weeks. If you fail to be back on time, then the deal is over. Konoha and Suna will turn their backs on Ame. We will make sure every other hidden village does the same.”

Naruto growled low in his throat, his expression feral. Everyone tensed at the sudden spike of chakra. “Don’t threaten me. You’ve already pushed me enough. I will be back in two weeks.” 

He turned to the four men who had accompanied him. They were surrounded by Konoha Anbu who quickly drew back as he approached. All of them were on edge but had followed his example and left their weapons sheathed. He heard Kakashi release the sound jutsu.

“Come,” he said shortly. “We’re finished here.” 

Tsunade nodded her head, and five Anbu followed the Hidden Rain entourage out the door. Long after they were gone, she whispered, “Are we doing the right thing?”

Surprisingly, it was Gaara who answered her. “Yes.” That was all. He offered no reasons to support his answer, but the absolute certainty in his voice soothed her. They all had their own reasons for doing this, but it came down to the same thing. They all wanted Naruto back.

\---------------------

_Two weeks later_

The guards at the gate nearly attacked when the blond ninja landed in a crouch in front of them. Naruto smirked. Might as well get a few laughs in before he met his death.

He rose until he was eye to eye with one of the fuming guards. He wore a bright blue yukata that matched his eyes, gold clouds etched along the bottom half. It was loosely belted, showing off a deep V of muscled tanned chest and left his arms bare. Loose, matching blue pants completed the outfit. The material was thin and supple enough to cling to his body as he moved, accenting strong thighs and tight buttocks. His bright blond hair caught the light, spiky locks framing his face, and the red streaks in it rippled like flame in the sea of yellow. On the back of the yukata, a red, snarling demon fox prowled on the clouds, fangs bared.

He wore no village’s symbol, a sign that he carried no allegiance. He had left that all behind him.

Naruto knew he looked good. He didn’t know if they were going to make his return a public spectacle or a private affair. But if they wanted a show, he would give them a show. He wasn’t going to be dragged back into Konoha, shamed and ridiculed. 

He had sacrificed everything for Ame. It was enough. Konoha had managed to take everything from him, the life he might have had, but it had also given him the opportunity to save his village.

After he had left the Hokage’s office, Shin had demanded to know what had gone on in the office. He had refused to tell the longhaired man, saying only that Hidden Leaf was willing to help but he needed to meet with Inoue-san to discuss the terms. The Rain ninja had been suspicious, but what could he do after all? They had raced back to Ame.

Then, behind closed doors, he had explained the situation to Inoue-san. Rather than coming up with some elaborate lie, he had told the Council member the truth and said that he’d accepted the terms. The older man had been furious at first and refused to allow him to leave, but the blond had been adamant. It would be best for the Hidden Rain if he left. It was his duty as village leader to put his people’s welfare before his own. He was going back to Konoha. 

But what were they going to tell the villagers? They couldn’t exactly tell them the truth after all. It would be a horrible blow to their pride if their leader gave in to another village’s threats. And they didn’t want to create any animosity to the countries that were going to offer them so much aid. It would just backfire against them if the citizens of Hidden Rain refused to accept the help.

In the end, they had decided on a mixture of truth and lies. Everyone was already aware of the bijuu inside of him, and they had noticed over the past few years that he had been changing, merging with the demon inside of him. They let word leak that the merging process was affecting him in unexpected ways, growing increasingly violent and painful. During his meeting with Konoha, he’d had a seizure, convulsing as the power of the Kyuubi tore through his body. The Leaf ninja had been able to stabilize him. Tsunade was a famous medic after all, and Naruto’s seal had originated in the hidden village. It wasn’t difficult to believe they would be able to help him. As a result, however, Naruto was going to step down as leader of Hidden Rain, for the villagers’ safety as well as his own. But not before arranging an extremely beneficial agreement with their new allies.

It was far from a perfect solution, but it accomplished the desired result. The four ninja who’d accompanied him had been sworn to silence – not that they’d known the full details in the first place. Naruto had pulled Shin aside and explained the truth to him, however. One, the Rain ninja was his friend, and he didn’t want to lie to him anymore than he had to. And two, he had suggested to Inoue-san that Shin should be his successor.

Shin was a genjutsu master. He had the ability to attach illusions to people and things and keep them there for a short period. It made him excel at hiding and infiltrating. He had placed a genjutsu on the blond’s headquarters in Imba so that enemy ninja sneaking into the building would think they were exploring the interior, when in reality, they were standing in the spot they had entered the structure. They only managed to leave the genjutsu when they “left” the building. Sasuke’s Sharingan would’ve been able to see through the illusion if he’d had it activated, but the raven had refrained from using it in order to keep his identity secret.

The Rain ninja’s biggest problem, however, was that he didn’t have a large chakra store. As a result, his genjutsu never lasted very long. He had to constantly redo the illusion on the building, so he couldn’t leave the village for long stretches. If he had to leave the village for extended periods of time, they always made careful arrangement beforehand. 

While Shin didn’t have the Jinchuuriki’s stamina, he was extremely capable in a fight, first using his powers to confound his enemies and then disabling them completely with his taijutsu skill. He was highly intelligent and fiercely loyal to Ame. His abilities would be useful in keeping the village safe as it rebuilt, and Naruto’s men were familiar with him since he’d been the blond’s second in command.

After settling his political obligations, he had made his personal farewells. Breaking his engagement to Aika-chan had been easy since neither had loved the other, but he had felt a faint hint of wistfulness for the life he was leaving behind. Leaving Takao-san’s family had been much harder. But he had left them the majority of his money and promises to visit once he was able. He felt guilty about the latter, but he could hardly admit he was going to Konoha to die. 

So here he was, brought back against his will, betrayed yet again by the man he had once loved. But he was stronger now, and they wouldn’t be able to break him again. 

Everything actually felt remarkably distant. He had used the two weeks to prepare himself for his death, had locked away the feelings of anger, regret and hurt. Now he felt…nothing. He wouldn’t give Konoha the satisfaction of seeing anything from him other than amused detachment. One little victory in a sea of defeat.

“I am here to see the Hokage,” he said, smiling at the two Anbu in front of him. “I believe she is expecting me.”

“Name?” one guard asked.

“Uzumaki Naruto,” he said promptly. No reason to hide his identity anymore after all.

The Anbu pulled out a scroll and gave it to him. The blond opened it, and with a poof, he was teleported directly to the Hokage’s office. Hmm, looks like they didn’t want people to know he was here. No matter. He didn’t really need to speak with anyone. It would be odd trying to say goodbye now to people he hadn’t seen for five years.

He was vaguely surprised that he wasn’t immediately surrounded and chained, but shrugged it off. He had already agreed to whatever punishment they had decided on. The timing of it didn’t matter to him.

“Tsunade,” he greeted the blond woman behind the desk. This time, it was only the two of them. 

“Naruto,” she said. She rose up and walked towards him until there were only a few feet away. She was still as beautiful and youthful looking as always, although he could see signs of fatigue and worry on her face. 

“It’s good to see you, Gaki.” Naruto thought about objecting to the insult/endearment but decided it wasn’t worth it. She could say whatever she wanted if it meant getting this all over with faster. “I had hoped that you would’ve come back to us on your own, but nevertheless, it’s good to see you again.”

He honestly didn’t know what to say to her after that. A number of hurtful things flashed through his mind, but he refused to be spiteful. The truth of the matter was that he enjoyed seeing her again, but considering the circumstances, he would hardly call this a happy occasion. So not knowing what to say, he said nothing.

Tsunade’s eyes dimmed a little when the man across from her simply nodded at her words. Who was this stranger? Where was the man she had considered a friend and brother? The Naruto she had known would have blustered, grinned, cracked a joke, said _something_. The handsome, calm man in front of her was nothing like the prankster she remembered.

Of course, he was expecting to die, so maybe she could give him a little slack.

She nodded back briskly. Now was not the time to give into maudlin emotion. She had a mission to accomplish, to get back the boy she had loved. That meant breaking down all the walls he had managed to build up in the time he’d been gone. And the only way to do that was to keep him off balance, remind him of who he was, repair the damage that had been done so many years ago and force him to reform the bonds that had been broken. 

So, time for step two of Operation Get Naruto Back! (insert cheers, confetti and peace signs here) 

She walked back behind her desk and tipped back a cup of sake. “Now that you’re back, we’ll go ahead and send an envoy to Ame to discuss the full terms of the alliance. Want some?” she asked, gesturing to another cup. 

Naruto shook his head, amused despite himself. Apparently, some things didn’t change.

She shrugged. “I’m certain you’ll be pleased with the aid we are offering.” She shook her finger at him. “You are a very expensive man, Gaki.” The blond looked at her in puzzlement. “We are paying out the nose to get you back.” 

He was a bit puzzled at her choice of wording but attributed it to Tsunade being drunk. 

“Our Council was very upset by the amount of support we are providing, but with Suna backing the deal as well, they couldn’t argue too much.” She chortled happily, sitting back down in her chair. “You should have seen their faces!”

Naruto could only imagine how unhappy the Council members must have been at having to spend precious resources on another village, but he was sure that had been counterbalanced by the joy of being able to kill him at last.

The Hokage must have understood his thought process, because she abruptly became serious. “Now, as to the matter of your punishment for becoming a missing-nin…”

“You must understand,” she said sadly, “I did all I could, but we can’t allow ninja to simply abandon their village! And you were an Anbu Captain, as well as the Fourth’s son. You could have shared some of Konoha’s most precious secrets! I tried to get them to offer you some leniency, Naruto, I really did, but there was only so much I could do.”

Against his own will, the young man responded to the pain in her voice and nodded understandingly. He was sure Tsunade hadn’t wanted to have him killed.

“There were a few points in your favor. As far as we could tell, you never aided an enemy of Konoha, and when you became leader of Rain, you did try to establish peaceful relations with us. In addition, when we gave you the ultimatum, you agreed quickly and without any trouble. However, the fact that Fire Country soldiers have been killed in the area where you were suspected to be did not help matters. The Fire Lord was very upset as you can imagine.”

Naruto wanted to sneer and comment on how Fire Country soldiers shouldn’t have been in the area at all, but he refrained. Anger had no place in him now. He was an empty shell waiting to die.

“Anyway,” she said, writing a short note and walking across to a window where a messenger bird waited, “I’m sure you want to know what your punishment entails.” She tied the message to the bird and released it before going back to sit at her desk. She folded her hands together and looked at him appraisingly.

“First off, we aren’t going to kill you, so stop thinking that,” she said irritably. “Of course, after you hear what I have planned for you, you might wish for death anyway.” She knew it was a little sadistic of her to have not told him the truth right away, but she was angry that he would’ve believed she would allow him to be executed, so the gaki deserved to wonder a little. 

Naruto’s expression remained impassive at the news. He waited to hear what they had in store for him. There were things worse than death after all.

“You will wear chakra suppressing cuffs for three years. Once a month, you will be allowed supervised training sessions when the cuffs can come off to ensure you keep your pathways clear. You will stay within a half-mile of Konoha at all times. There will be a locator jutsu on you to insure you stay within bounds. After the three years are over, you will be allowed to do supervised D and C rank missions. After five years, you will be reinstated to Jounin level. During this time, you will be constantly followed by Anbu. If you try to take off the cuffs, you will be killed. If you step outside of the permissible area, you will be killed. If you try to escape your watchers, you will be killed. No more chances. Is that understood?”

“Yes,” he said calmly, although inside, the shock of the news floated just above the detachment he’d cultivated. All in all, it was a relatively easy punishment. It wasn’t what he’d been expecting in the least. It really wasn’t any different from the sentence Sasuke had received. But the Uchiha had the Sharingan which the elders had always coveted. Why were they being so generous with him? Where was the torture, the pain, the death? 

“One last point. Your apartment was given away years ago, so you need a new place to stay. We decided that you would move in with one of the Anbu in order to make surveillance easier.”

The blond’s eyes narrowed slightly. Unless things had changed drastically, there were really only two people who would be able to accommodate a roommate easily: Neji and—

“Hokage-sama,” Naruto’s eyes widened in horror, the first real sign of emotion he’d shown the whole meeting, as he heard the familiar silken voice. “You summoned me?”

“Oh, hell no!”


	11. Chapter 11

Naruto stared in complete disbelief at the man in front of him. Uchiha freaking-I’m-so-much-better-than-you Sasuke. 

“Hell no!” he repeated.

Sasuke smirked at him openly, and it was all he could do to not attack the asshole right then. However, a prisoner getting into a fight with an Anbu Captain in the Hokage’s office was probably not going to be well received. It didn’t stop him from growling low in his throat though at the other man. 

He glared at Tsunade. “Throw me in prison instead! There is no way I’m gonna live with that backstabbing, lying son of a bitch!”

He heard a snort behind him. “Try not to keep your feelings bottled up, Naruto. It can’t be good for you.”

Was that a joke? Naruto’s eyes widened. Was the fucking teme mocking him now of all times?

Tsunade hurriedly stepped between the two of them, forestalling the epic battle which would’ve been sure to take place, Hokage’s office or not.

“You don’t have a choice!” she snapped. “I’ve made my decision, and it’s final. He’s your primary Anbu guard, and you _will_ live with him.”

When he would’ve argued some more, she raised her hand to smack him as she had countless times before in the past. This time, however, he caught her wrist before she could complete the motion, holding it in a firm grip.

Once again, the blonde woman thought, _who is this man?_ The person calmly holding her wrist was not the same person who’d left five years ago, and she deeply regretted the loss.

She shook her hand loose, annoyed. “Get him out of my office,” she huffed. 

Sasuke bowed and left, knowing Naruto would eventually follow. 

“Naruto,” she said, stopping the blond from going out the door. “It’s good to have you back.” The wistfulness and sincerity in her voice was apparent to both of them.

He looked at her for one moment before nodding once and leaving as well. No bow, no farewell. She sighed. It would be a while before he forgave them for dragging him back, but at least he would be angry with them while in Konoha instead of a country far away.

\-------------------

As soon as the younger man stepped outside the Hokage’s office, a guard at the door stopped him, holding two cuffs in her hands. Naruto’s lips curled in a snarl for one second, but he obediently held out his arms. She locked them on his wrists, and he stared at them for a long moment before finally dropping his arms down to his sides.

Once the guard stepped back, Sasuke grabbed a hold of Naruto’s yukata and teleported them to the Uchiha complex. It’d be better to give the blond a little time to get used to being back in the village before he was exposed to everyone, and besides, he was sure the other man had a lot he wanted to say.

Sure enough, as soon as they reappeared, Naruto wrenched himself away and hissed, “Don’t touch me! Don’t talk to me, don’t look at me, don’t do anything involving me at all!”

Even though the raven could see the other man was furious, he was happy that at least Naruto was showing emotion. The younger man had all but ignored him the last time they had seen each other and had displayed no sign of reaction to his presence at all. He didn’t want him to revert to the way he’d been the first time they’d met back in Imba, impersonal and distant, barely acknowledging him. 

“Che, Dobe, stop being ridiculous. Whether you like it or not, you’re going to be living with me, and I’ll be looking at you everyday. Get over it.”

Sasuke wanted to wince at his intentionally riling words. He hadn’t meant to be quite so blunt, but he wanted Naruto to let off some steam. Sure enough, the blond’s reaction did not disappoint.

“Get over it? GET OVER IT? Get over what? Get over you fucking Sakura? Get over you lying to me that you loved me? Get over being forced against my will back to Konoha? What exactly do you expect me to get over?” Naruto shouted, crowding dangerously into his personal space. He continued his tirade, ignoring the way black eyes turned red.

“And now I’m supposed to be in chains for three years. Three fucking years! And to top it all off, I have to live with you, the person who drove me away in the first place! Don’t tell me to get over it, asshole. You have no idea what I’m going through right now!”

Sasuke grabbed the blond’s yukata with both fists, slamming him back into a wall.

“I have no idea?” he hissed, his Sharingan swirling madly. “I was in those chains for two years! I know _exactly_ what you’re going to go through! And you seem to conveniently forget that in the past, you were the one constantly trying to drag me back here. I believe you implied that if you had to bring me back, bleeding and broken, then that’s what you would do! Well how is that different from what I did? I needed you here! Everyone needed you here! You have no idea how much Konoha’s missed you! And if you thought for one instant that I would let you get married to some Rain bitch instead of me, then you’re even more of an idiot than I thought!”

Naruto stared at the Uchiha, momentarily lost for words in the face of the other man’s righteous anger.

“And don’t you dare accuse me of lying to you! I have never lied to you, and I won’t let you pretend that I don’t love you!” He slammed his lips down on the shorter man’s in a bruising kiss, refusing to let him up when he tried to fight against him.

“Get off me!” the blond yelled, finally managing to shove him off. A thin streak of blood covered his lip where it had split from the kiss.

“What do you possibly know about love?” he sneered at the raven. “You don’t intentionally hurt the person you love. You don’t put your wishes before theirs. I was happy in Rain! I was the fucking village leader! Everyone accepted me there, and I was going to have a wife and family. You, all of you, took that from me! Orochimaru was going to steal your body! You were so fucking hell bent on revenge that you didn’t even care! Every time I tried to bring you back, I was trying to save you. You can’t compare the two of us!” 

“If you recall,” Sasuke hissed, “I was the one who killed Orochimaru. Me, not you, not anyone else. I didn’t need saving! And Rain wanted a protector! It didn’t matter if that were you or somebody else! You had an army behind you, and they wanted that. As for acceptance, you hardly left Imba long enough for the citizens of Ame to ever see you. They didn’t know the real you. And the whole time I was there, I never once saw you truly happy. You rarely smiled, and even though your men respected you, they didn’t love you. Not like I love you, and not like your friends love you.”

Naruto almost stumbled backwards, wanting to deny the words but knowing the truth behind them. It was true that he’d been so wary of relationships that he’d kept most people at bay. No one else had realized it behind his jokester façade, but he hadn’t allowed himself to get too close to anyone. Takao-san’s family and Shin had been his only true friends. And the people of Ame didn’t know him well. He had planned to try to get to know the villagers more after he assumed leadership, but he’d been too busy over the past months to get out much.

“And as for your future _wife_ ,” Sasuke spat out the word, “Would you have really married someone you barely knew and didn’t love? Would that have been fair to her, to you, to your children? Did you just assume you would fall in love eventually? And what would you have done if it didn’t work out? How would your children have felt when their parents—”

“Enough!” Naruto called out. It was too much, too fast. He didn’t want to hear the truth in the other man’s words anymore. Why couldn’t Sasuke leave him with his illusions? “Just…just stop,” he whispered.

A long silence ensued before finally, the Uchiha sighed. “I’m…sorry,” he said. Amazingly, it was actually a little easier this time than the last time he had apologized. “I didn’t mean to argue about all of this with you.” He raked his hand through his hair agitatedly. 

“Come on. Please. Let me fix you something to eat. You have to be tired after your trip here. You can be angry with me tomorrow, but for today, just let me…let me take care of you.”

The younger man looked at him, confused and hesitant, but he couldn’t deny the slightly imploring expression on the other’s face. “O-okay. But this doesn’t mean that I’ve forgiven you or anything!” he said, with a trace of his old tactlessness and spirit.

Sasuke nodded his head deliberately. “I know.” 

\-----------------

Naruto didn’t really inspect the interior of the house when they walked in. The last time he’d been in here was the day he’d seen his two best friends betraying him, and it hardly left him happy memories.

He absently noted that the dining table was the same as he sat down and waited to eat. He briefly considered asking if the other man wanted help, but he decided to just savor the time alone while he could. The thought of living with the Uchiha had him on edge, and he knew there would be many more confrontations to look forward to in the future. He decided to use the brief moment of peace and quiet to think about what Sasuke had said outside.

He studied the grain of the wood as his thoughts raced. He was furious at what the raven and Tsunade had done, trapping him into coming back to Konoha. But…would he have done anything less if _Sasuke_ had been the one to walk in hoping for a peace treaty? If the other man had taken over Sound after Orochimaru’s death, which Naruto knew he had been capable of, and then waltzed back into Konoha asking for aid, would he have just let the other man go?

He sighed, troubled. Of course not. Because Sasuke belonged in Konoha. And it wouldn’t have mattered to him if the older man had sworn up and down that he was happy where he was. Naruto had promised to bring him back to Leaf, and he would’ve done anything, _anything_ , to keep that vow. 

So then, did he have any right to feel so betrayed because Sasuke had accomplished what he himself would have done?

He shied away from the thought, not wanting to answer it. The problem was that he just couldn’t believe the other man had sincere motives behind it. Even after everything that had happened in Imba, he couldn’t bring himself to trust the Uchiha.

He sighed, deciding he’d had enough introspection for one day. It was making his head hurt. All this brooding was more Sasuke’s type of thing, not his, and he just wanted to eat and take a nap. The last few weeks had been exhausting.

Luckily for him, the other man chose that moment to walk in with the food. The blond’s eyes lit up in delight when he saw the bowls of ramen. Yeah, ramen! No matter how down he was feeling, ramen always managed to make things better. 

He paused as his hands started reaching for the bowl. Sasuke knew that about him. So then…the older man was trying to cheer him up? 

But the raven was busy laying out the food, and he didn’t want to break the uncomfortable silence for a change, so he let the thought pass.

Neither spoke again until they had finally finished eating and put away the dishes. By that time, completely stuffed after eating seven bowls, Naruto was openly yawning. It was only early evening, but he was ready to crash.

“Let me show you where you’re sleeping,” Sasuke murmured. The blond nodded and followed the taller man up the stairs. He began to tense, however, the closer they got to the master bedroom.

The teme couldn’t be expecting him to—

“Here,” the raven said, as they finally stopped at a room diagonally across the hall from the master. Naruto had never been in the room, since he’d shared the master and never really explored many of the rooms in the house. He had never felt comfortable enough to, feeling very much at the time that he was a stranger in the home. 

He thought about objecting to the close proximity of the two rooms but decided he was too tired to deal with it right now. He’d switch rooms later when the other man was busy.   
“Okay, thanks,” he said awkwardly, opening the door. 

“Hn.” The Uchiha walked away, back towards the stairs.

Naruto slipped inside the room and closed the door. When he turned around to finally look at the room, his jaw dropped. What the hell?

It was actually a suite of rooms, with a bedroom, connecting bath and living area. It was slightly smaller than the master but still spacious. What had him so surprised, however, was that all his old stuff was here. All the furniture and junk he’d brought over with him when he’d moved in with Sasuke was in the suite. 

There was the couch he’d owned since he was a child, battered and uncomfortable, but it had held too many memories for him to throw it away. There were his pictures of Team 7 and his other friends. He could see knick-knacks that he had purchased over the years and little trinkets he had collected on his missions. He could see the box where he had kept letters from friends on the desk. He even noticed there was one of his old orange jackets that he thought he’d thrown away when the other man had complained about the garish color resting on the arm of the couch, as if he’d tossed it there on his way in one day. 

Sasuke had kept all this? It had been a huge battle just getting most of this stuff in the house – the Uchiha had wanted to get rid of it from the get-go. It had hurt the blond to leave all of it behind when he’d left. Why was it still here? Everything looked clean and taken care of. The raven didn’t have any servants, wanting to maintain his privacy. So that meant the older man had cleaned this suite himself. Why would he have kept all of it? What—?

Naruto finally just shook his head slowly. He would worry about it tomorrow. He took one more look around incredulously before heading to the bathroom to shower. Tomorrow.

When he finally tumbled into bed, still naked and wet, too tired to dry off properly, he thought he could smell the faintest hint of Sasuke on the pillow. He wondered at it as he drifted off into oblivion.

\-------------------

Sasuke lay in bed, still awake hours later. His thoughts lingered on the man across the hall, and he wondered. _What am I going to do now that Naruto is back in Konoha?_

He’d been frantic after the blond had made his announcement about getting married. It had left him completely floored, and he’d allowed himself to be escorted away. He remembered the confusion and the despair, thinking he’d been too late.

He only vaguely remembered making it back to Konoha, still shocked by the turn of events. When he’d seen the gates to the village towering in the sky fifty feet away, he’d finally shaken off some of the daze. Naruto had really given up on him. He wasn’t going to come back. He was going to get married. It was at that point that he’d thrown up.

By the time he’d walked up to the gates, he’d regained his composure, and only the sickly pallor of his face gave away that anything was amiss. Even that was gone by the time he’d walked into the Hokage’s office.

Tsunade…had not taken his report well. He knew Naruto hadn’t noticed, but all the furniture in her office was new. 

Alone in his empty house hours later, he had finally given in to the emotions roiling inside of him and broken down. When he’d finally calmed down, tear tracks had marked his face, and the living room had been in shambles. His throat had hurt from yelling. He’d sat in the ruins of his home, his back hunched over, and stared into space, too tired to move.

Days later when Sakura had broken down his door, he’d been unshaven and unkempt. He’d been lying in his bed, looking at the few pictures he had of the blond. He’d heard the knocking, but he hadn’t gotten up. It just…wasn’t worth the effort. He knew he needed to get out of bed and clean up, but he kept pushing it off. 

She’d been shocked at the state of his house and was doubly so by the condition of his body. After demanding to know what had happened, she’d been enraged, but not at Naruto – at him. She’d picked him up out of bed, and ignoring his protests, thrown him into the bathtub, turning the water on to freezing cold. 

By the time he’d escaped the frigid water and emerged from the bathroom, his eyes had been red, and Sakura had seen traces of his usual self as he stalked towards her.

She had stood her ground, however. 

“So that’s it? You’re giving up?” Her tone had made it clear how disgusted she was.

Sasuke had flinched but answered angrily, “What else am I supposed to do? He’s made his decision, and it wasn’t m– it wasn’t Konoha.”

“And that’s it then?”

It was just that he’d opened himself up to Naruto, admitted his feelings, made himself vulnerable…and it hadn’t mattered. The other man had rejected him. 

He had no one. No one wanted him. Naruto didn’t want him. What else was there to do?

He let his silence answer for him. Why couldn’t she just leave him alone?

She’d stormed out, but her parting words had haunted him. “Naruto never gave up on you.”

It was true. Sasuke had almost killed the blond, twice, had rejected him time and time again, but the other man had always come back. 

He’d stripped off his dripping clothes and climbed back into the bed. He’d lain there, just like he was doing now, and stared at the ceiling, his thoughts churning.

The next day, clean and showing no trace of depression, he’d gone back to the Hokage’s office. _No_ , he’d thought, finally answering Sakura’s question, _I’m not finished yet._

And now, after all their efforts, Naruto was finally back in Konoha, but he was definitely not happy to have returned. So once again, Sasuke had to wonder, _what am I going to do now?_

\-------------------

 

Naruto’s growling stomach woke him up the next morning just before dawn. He lay in bed for a moment, debating whether or not to go back to sleep, before finally throwing off the covers. His stomach was going to eat a hole in itself if he didn’t get something right away.

He looked through the dresser on the off-chance something in them would fit him, but all the clothes were too small. He pushed the question of why Sasuke had kept all his clothes out of his mind. Nope, no thinking this early in the morning. He refused. 

After a fruitless search, he finally put the pants he’d been wearing the previous day back on. He refused to reuse the underwear, so it looked like he was going commando. He picked up the yukata but grimaced when he noticed it had dirt smeared across the back from when the teme had thrown him into the wall. Well, he would have to borrow something once the other man got out of bed.

He wandered downstairs to the kitchen in a semi-sleepy daze. After putting together a breakfast of ramen and eggs, he went out the back to train. Even though he couldn’t access his chakra, he had no intention of letting his taijutsu skills rust. Besides, it would work off some nervous energy. Now that he knew he wasn’t going to be killed, he didn’t know what to do with himself.

He’d been so busy the past few months that the sudden free time was difficult to fill. Tsunade hadn’t mentioned him having any duties, and if he didn’t have any paperwork to do or missions to go on, how was he going to pass the time? It’s not like he could train all the time either since he couldn’t work on any new jutsu. He was already starting to feel bored. And anyone who had ever known him knew that a bored Naruto was not a good thing.

That was how Sasuke found him two hours later, sweaty and irritable. The Uchiha had taken one long look at his semi-naked form but hadn’t commented. He had twitched when he felt the assessing gaze but hadn’t stopped moving from one training dummy to the next. He glided through the maze of wooden figures, each hit making a dull _thwack_. Every time he hit one, the impact would make it rotate quickly so that a wooden arm or imbedded weapon would come swinging in his direction. He continued to strike, block and dodge as he waited for the other man to speak.

When no word was forthcoming after another fifteen minutes, he finally decided to stop, annoyed at being watched. He turned towards the older man who was leaning against the doorjamb with his arms crossed over his chest. 

“What?” he finally asked rudely, stopping a swinging dummy from cutting his throat.

“Hn?”

“What are you doing? Don’t you have anything better to do than just stand there?” Naruto asked crossly.

“Dobe, it’s my job to watch you.” The raven smirked at incredulous blue eyes.

“That doesn’t mean that you have to be so close to me!” the blond squawked in outrage. He jabbed his finger in the direction of hiding Anbu. “Those guys at least have the decency to pretend they aren’t here!”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “This is my home, idiot. If I want to stand here instead of hiding in the trees, then I will.” 

Naruto sputtered in disbelief. There was no way he was just going to let the teme shadow him all day! Tsunade had told him he was going to be living with the Uchiha and that the older man was going to be his primary guard, but that had all just been a horrible joke, right? Sasuke was an Anbu Captain. Surely that meant he had tons of missions to go on. Right? Please?

“Shouldn’t you be on a mission?” he asked accusingly.

“I am,” was the nonchalant reply.

The blond growled. “A non-Naruto mission!”

“Che, don’t be ridiculous, Dobe.”

“Stop calling me do—” Ah fuck, how did he always get in these stupid arguments with the teme anyway?

“Never mind. I’m gonna take a shower.” He brushed by the leaning man and made his way inside. He didn’t want to talk to the raven. And he definitely didn’t want to go outside the complex and see his old friends. Shit, he didn’t know what to do. He felt so lost.

\-------------------

Sasuke paced the living room. Naruto had been holing himself up in his room for the past two weeks. He came out to train in the morning and eat but would retreat back into his room for the rest of the day. He was ignoring the Uchiha, not talking and barely responding when the older man made a tentative stab at conversation. He didn’t know what to do. 

He’d offered to spar with the blond and been rebuffed. He’d insulted him, hoping to get some sort of response, but Naruto had gotten up and left the room instead. Fuck, this wasn’t the way things were supposed to go! 

Naruto hadn’t mentioned the conversation they’d had the first day he’d arrived. And he hadn’t said anything about all his furniture in the suite he was staying in either. It had taken a lot of time for Sasuke to move the stuff out of the master bedroom in order to make it ready for the younger man, and he didn’t even seem to care. 

After finding out the blond had disappeared from Konoha, he had moved all the other man’s things back inside his house. After months had passed and he found himself missing the dobe more and more, he had started to take a few items out of storage and place them around his bedroom. Being surrounded by the other man’s things had intensified and calmed the ache, and he had ended up moving more and more things into the room as time went on. 

When Tsunade had agreed to make Naruto move back in with him, he had moved all the items into the other suite, and he hated how empty his own room seemed now as a result. He had hoped that having the other man in the house with him again would start to alleviate the guilt and loneliness but having these brief glimpses of the blond was actually making things worse. 

He had wanted to give the younger man time to come to terms with the situation, but it didn’t seem to be helping. He understood that Naruto was feeling betrayed, but he had thought that the other man would understand they had done this, not out of a desire to hurt him, but to bring him back home. 

Fuck this. He was sick of the dobe moping around. If the blond refused to go out into the village, then he would bring the village here.

\-------------------

Naruto let himself get lost in the rhythm of punches and kicks. It was the only time of the day when he could free himself from his restless thoughts. The teme had been nice enough – which was weird in and of itself – to bring him some clothes after the first day, so he was wearing a tank top and shorts to work out in. Unfortunately, the raven had slightly misjudged his size, so the top was slightly tight and the shorts were baggy, leaving a strip of skin bare low on his stomach and hips. Still, it was better than nothing at all. 

He knew the other man would appear soon, so he had to wrap up his training. He was avoiding the Uchiha and all the questions that went hand in hand with him, but he really didn’t know what else to do. Every time the two of them were alone, they ended up discussing the past, which lead to shouting, which lead to unintended confessions, which lead to exposed emotions, which lead to fighting and/or sex, which lead to increasing amounts of confusion on his part.

He groaned. He was a straightforward type of guy! He didn’t like all this brooding and uncertainty. And he hated being cooped up inside! But what else was he going to do? He didn’t want to face the condemnation of the villagers again just yet. He had to mentally prepare himself for the looks and sneers, and after five years away, it was taking him a while to face it. And he didn’t want to see his friends. He didn’t know what he was going to say to them after all this time.

He estimated he had about twenty more minutes before the grace period was over, and Sasuke stepped outside. He decided to use it for target practice. His hand lashed out, and three shuriken embedded themselves dead center in the target thirty feet away. He started a series of jumps and flips, throwing projectiles all the while. He hit the bulls eye every time. 

“Na-Naruto?”

He whipped around at the sound of her voice, inadvertently throwing a kunai at her shoulder in the process. She didn’t even try to dodge, so it was a miracle the blade just missed her, flying into the wall behind her.

“ _Sakura_?” His voice cracked. His eyes darted around wildly, looking for some sort of escape. He did _not_ want to see her right now.

“Naruto!” She rushed at him, flinging her arms around his waist and burying her head in his chest. She started crying, whispering brokenly all the while, “I’m so glad you’re really back. Tsunade said…but they wouldn’t let me see you…and you didn’t come to see me…no one’s heard from you in so long…I missed you so much…where have you been…I’m so sorry about before…I never meant to hurt you…I would never intentionally hurt you…you know that now, right?”

He stood rigid in her embrace for a long time before her sobbing became too much for him. He raised his arms and held her, patting her back, whispering soothing nothings. “Shh, shh, Sakura-chan. There’s no reason to cry. Please don’t cry.” And he wondered at the force of her emotion.

“Did Sasuke tell you about me?” she asked hesitantly, when the last of her tears had ceased.

“No,” he replied stiffly, pulling away from her at the sound of his – _their_ – past lover’s name. “Look, I gotta—” 

She refused to let him go completely, using her awesome strength to keep a firm grip on his wrist. “No, please stay, Naruto. Please give me a chance to explain.” Green eyes pleaded up at him, and he sighed, giving in as he had always done in the past.

“Alright,” he said, looking away. “Alright.”

And she did. She told him how Sasuke had come to her, how he had told her Naruto’s and his relationship was struggling because of his need for children, how she had offered to help them out, how he had taken her up on her offer, how she had realized the Uchiha had lied to her and Naruto, how she had loved the blond and how she had cried when she realized Naruto had left. And there was no way he could mistake the truth and sincerity of her words. By the end of it, she was crying once again, and he was crying as well, filled with both sorrow and gratefulness that she had not betrayed him, too.

“I’m so sorry, Naruto, for what happened—”

“No, no,” he said hoarsely, clutching her tightly as they sat on the steps to the back door. “Don’t apologize. You have always been a good friend, Sakura-chan, one of my best friends. You were always one of my best friends.” And it healed a wound inside of him that he hadn’t realized he still carried around when he could say that honestly. 

Both of them turned at a small noise to see Sasuke standing behind them, looking at the two of them entwined, his eyes unreadable.

“You!” Naruto lunged out the embrace, one hand gripping the taller man’s shirt tightly, the other already pulling back. He felt consumed with anger, enraged on her behalf like he’d never been for himself.

“How could you!” His fist slammed into the raven’s face, blood flying. The Uchiha stumbled and would’ve fallen off the stoop if it weren’t for the blond’s hand in his shirt. “It wasn’t enough to hurt me – you had to hurt Sakura as well?” The force of his blow caused the shirt to tear, a loud jagged sound. Dimly he could hear Sakura yelling at him to stop. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He let go of the ruined shirt and punched him in the stomach instead. Sasuke’s breath came out in a pain-filled whoosh as he bent over. His next blow never connected. Two Anbu held him, keeping him away from his intended prey. 

“Let me go!” he snarled, aching to hit the other man again.

Sasuke coughed, blood splattering on the ground. He stood up, wincing, bruises already forming on his face. “Release him,” he ordered. The two Anbu hesitated, exchanging glances before reluctantly freeing the blond’s arms.

“Naruto, stop!” Sakura interposed herself between the two men when the younger man would’ve advanced. “He’s not fighting back! Can’t you see he’s not fighting back?”

The blond halted, his rage ebbing as he realized she was telling the truth. Confusion took its place. The teme hadn’t even attempted to block one of his hits. What—? “Why aren’t you fighting me?”

Puzzled blue eyes looked into calm black. Sasuke didn’t answer, just stood waiting, as if he expected Naruto to come at him again. The younger man noticed Sakura shepherding the two Anbu out of the training yard, but then his focus narrowed down to the man in front of him, until only the two of them remained. He studied the impassive face in front of him. His eyes widened finally in comprehension.

“I don’t want your guilt!” he said sharply, his finger pointing at the other man. “There are enough training dummies here. I don’t need you to practice on.”

“Then what _do_ you want from me?” the Uchiha asked, frustrated that the younger man seemed to be retracting into his distant shell once again. “What will it take for you forgive me?”

“I don’t know! But not _this_.”

“Then what? Tell me what to do to make this better!”

“I can’t! _You_ can’t! I don’t know!”

The two stopped shouting, looking at each other across a gap of years. Finally, the older man turned, walking slowly back inside the house, his shoulders high and stiff, as if pride was all that he had left. The sound of the door closing gently somehow rang loudly in the training yard. 

“Naruto.” The blond turned to see Sakura had returned without the Anbu. 

“Sakura,” he said, sighing deeply and taking her hands. “I’m sorry about that. I was just so angry with him for doing that to you—”

“Naruto, I know that it isn’t my place to interfere, but I hate to see the two of you still suffering.”

“Sakura, please, I don’t—”

“Sasuke’s missed you terribly these past years.”

He laughed hollowly. “I find it hard to believe the teme would miss anyone, let alone me.”

She smacked him gently on his shoulder. “That’s not true. You know the two of you have always been the glue that held the other together. I’m not saying that you’ve always had the healthiest of relationships, but once you were gone…it’s like he didn’t know what to do with himself anymore.”

Naruto scoffed angrily. “That’s just because he couldn’t torture me anymore.”

“No, it’s because his best friend was gone.”

“Sakura-chan, we haven’t been best friends in years. Sasuke hated me. And I got tired of being hated.”

“Really?” she asked, one eyebrow arched disbelievingly. “Because I don’t think that Sasuke would spend every free moment he had looking for a man he hated in order to bring him back to Konoha. I don’t think he would keep every item of furniture that same man had left in his house. I don’t think he would sleep in a room surrounded by that man’s possessions in order to feel some sort of connection to him. I don’t think he would get drunk one night and nearly break down because another year had gone by without a word or a trace of you.” She decided not to tell him about how depressed the raven had been when he’d come back from Rain.

He blinked at her in astonishment, trying to take in her words. 

Her eyes softened. “Don’t worry about me, Naruto. Sasuke and I already fixed our relationship years ago. I forgave him for what he did. If I can forgive him for using me, then so can you. As for finding a way to forgive him for what he did to _you_ …well, that will be much harder. But at least give him a chance, if not for him, then for me. He really does love you, you know.”

Naruto shook his head, not really disagreeing with her, but out of confusion.

“He’s the one who told me you were here,” she said, patting his hand. “He said that you were isolating yourself, and he was worried about you. He thought that finally getting a chance to talk to me and the others would make you feel better. And he wanted the two of us to clear the air.”

“You make him sound like a damned saint,” he complained half-heartedly, shaken up by the things she had said.

“No,” she said, smiling gently. “He sounds like a man in love.”

“Did he really do all those things?” he asked quietly after a pause. 

“All that and more. He’s changed a lot since you left, Naruto. I admit that he was a manipulative, conniving, hurtful, son-of-a-bitch,” he smiled at her description, "But he's not all that bad now." He chuckled. 

"Enough of that though. Tell me what you've been up to for the past five years."

\-------------------

Naruto walked back into the house, still smiling. It had been great seeing Sakura again, more than great. It had wounded him to the core to think two of his precious people had betrayed him. His smile died. And now it turned out that only one of them had. He sighed. This was why he had left Konoha in the first place, because he knew that he would always think about Sasuke, would always dwell on what had happened. And here he was again, doing the exact thing he’d tried to avoid in the first place. Still, he couldn't help but think of what his former teammate had said.

It was one thing for the raven to tell him that he loved him. It was something completely different hearing it from another person. Apparently, Sasuke and Sakura had gotten much closer in the time since he left, just like he had with her when the Uchiha had been gone. He chuckled dryly as he wondered what was it about their team that a third of it always seemed to be missing. 

So Sakura thought Sasuke loved him. Had the Uchiha told her that, or was that just her own suspicion? Had the raven really almost cried because he couldn’t find Naruto? He shook his head, not able to imagine it. It was true that the older man had been acting differently since going to Imba, had said things, had done things the blond would never have expected. But he’d always suspected a hidden motive, even after having sex, he hadn’t trusted the other man. He’d pushed him away, choosing to stay in Rain even though it hadn’t been his first choice. 

A part of him had always longed to come back to Konoha. It was what had kept him from accepting the position of leader of Ame before. He had missed everyone and had half-formed dreams of returning in such a way that everyone would finally accept him. 

And somehow, here he was again. He’d been forced to come back by the people he loved, but why? It obviously wasn’t to kill him. Sasuke had said it was because they wanted him back. They had done everything in their power to get the raven back, but he’d been on a road to destruction. He had been the leader of another shinobi village. It really wasn’t the same thing. 

But they had wanted him back. It still angered him to a certain extent the way they had gone about things, but – but it also warmed his heart to know the lengths they had gone to for him. It had been an extremely risky political move for Leaf and Sand, and even now, they were giving much more than they were getting back since the only thing they’d really gotten out of the deal was an alliance with a weak village and him.

So, if they’d done it, not for political gain and not for some type of revenge, then… He sighed, beginning to let go of the anger that had burned inside of him for so long. Maybe, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to be back.

He stopped at the entryway to the living room where he saw Sasuke sitting with an ice pack on his cheek. 

“Hey,” he said softly, vaguely guilty when he saw the dark bruises on the other man’s face. 

“Hn,” the raven murmured back, resting his head back on the couch.

Naruto watched the older man for a while, thoughts awhirl. Could he really believe the Uchiha loved him? And if he could, what did it mean? 

He hesitated for a bit longer before walking over and sitting next to the pained man. “Here,” he said, gently pulling the ice pack away. “Let me help you with that.”

Onyx eyes watched him, full of emotion, but the blond was unable to decipher them. Sasuke’s arms dropped to the couch, and he sat unresisting, willing to accept whatever the younger man was willing to give him.

Naruto laughed nervously under that intent gaze, not able to look the other man in the eyes. He brushed his fingers over the bruises, wincing in sympathy. “These are really bad,” he said unnecessarily. 

“I’ve had worse,” Sasuke murmured quietly. “It’s nothing.”

“We should take you to get these looked at. Your cheek bone could be fractured.” The blond was overly conscious of the heated skin under his fingertips, and he wondered what he was doing sitting so close to the raven.

“It’s nothing,” the older man repeated, not wanting to get up and lose the simple contact. He would suffer ten times this much pain in order to be close to the other man.

“Oi, stop being such a stoic bastard,” Naruto said crossly. He didn’t know why his voice was so soft. “Come on,” he said, finally shaking off whatever spell had wrapped around the two of them. He rose and offered his hand to the other man. Both men pretended to not notice the slight trembling. “You don’t have to live in pain, you know.”

Sasuke paused in the act of reaching for the tan hand. “Don’t I?” he asked quietly, desperately wanting to see the blond’s eyes.

Naruto looked down for a minute before lifting blue eyes to the other man’s. He couldn’t pretend he didn’t understand the yearning he saw there. “No,” he said at last, grabbing the Uchiha’s hand and pulling him up. “You don’t.”

He let go of the older man and turned away, heading for the door. It would be the first time he had left the complex in the two weeks he’d been back.

His footsteps faltered for a second when he heard Sasuke whisper, “I’m so sorry…for everything.”

He didn’t turn around when he said at last, his voice gentle, “I know.”


	12. Chapter 12

Warnings: Explicit dubcon (noncon to start, although he does agree in the end) so if this bothers you, please don’t read. 

_Nine months later_

“You’re getting slow,” Sasuke taunted, his breath coming out in pants.

“Says you!” the blond retorted indignantly, the sword in his hand dripping blood.

The raven smirked, ignoring the slight pain from the gash in his shoulder. If he hadn’t dodged out of the way at the last second, the blade would’ve been against his throat, and the match ended.

“If I’m getting so slow, why are _you_ the one bleeding?”

“Idiot,” the taller man scoffed, “You _are_ bleeding.”

Naruto smirked. “No, I’m not.” The Uchiha’s eyes narrowed as he noticed the wound he’d inflicted on the younger man’s thigh had disappeared. 

“All that proves is that the demon feels he needs to heal all the injuries you sustain from being so _slow_.” Sasuke nearly snickered at the look of outrage on the other man’s face.

“Teme!” The blond came at him in a rush, the blade glinting in the afternoon light.

It had been nine months since the Jinchuuriki had returned from Rain – nine of the most aggravating, glorious, nerve-wracking and best months of Sasuke’s life. Ever since the afternoon that Sakura had first visited the two of them, Naruto had steadily been growing more relaxed with the raven. It had been a rocky progression, but now they sparred, they talked, they laughed – they were almost back to being best friends. 

Almost. 

The younger man would still have moments where he would withdraw emotionally and brood, but those times were becoming less and less frequent. Naruto had changed a lot in the five years he’d been gone, and one of those changes had been that he was much more serious now. Oh, he still joked around, played pranks and was hyperactive and boisterous when the mood hit him, but he also displayed signs of maturity, knowing when to be quiet and when to listen. But there were also times when he wanted to be alone, when he would lock himself into his room and not emerge for hours. 

Nonetheless, he was doing much better than he had at the beginning, and he frequently hung out with his old friends, people who had missed the crazy ninja and were extremely happy to have him back.

\------------------

_Nine months earlier_

Naruto sat outside the hospital room, ignoring the looks that were directed his way. He had brought the teme to get checked out after beating on him, and he wasn’t going to hide just because this was the first time he’d been outside the Uchiha complex since he’d gotten to Konoha.

“Isn’t that—”

“I’d heard he was back—”

“I can’t believe they let him—”

“What’s he—”

“Naruto?” He looked up at the familiar voice.

“Hinata?” he asked, surprised. He rose from his seat and took in the sight of the former Hyuuga heiress. Physically, she hadn't changed much in the intervening years since he’d last seen her. Her hair was longer, her face might have been a little thinner, but overall, she still looked the same. Even her outfit was basically unchanged. The dramatic difference, however, was that she seemed much more confident now, her eyes weren't lowered, and her shoulders seemed straighter, as if she had finally settled into her own body.

"What are you doing here?" the two of them asked at the same time. They both laughed nervously, and whatever tension had been accumulating, dissipated. He gestured at her to go first.

She shook her head, signifying her question was unimportant, and a happy smile lit up her features. She reached out for him, and in a surprisingly bold move that would've had her blushing and stammering years before, she hugged him. "I'm so glad you're back," she whispered joyfully into his ear.

His eyes almost teared up at the simple and sincere greeting. "So-so am I," he said at last, hugging her in return. And at the moment, it was true.

"Yo, Hinata, what—?” Naruto stepped back, pulling away at the annoyed voice.

"Naruto?" The blond nearly smirked at the disbelieving voice.

"Hey Kiba," he said softly, unsure of his welcome. 

"What the hell, Blondie!" He nearly flinched at the tone of the voice until the other man continued. "You're here for just a couple of days, and you're already trying to move in on my girl?"

He laughed, his nervousness forgotten when the brunet pulled Hinata to him possessively, waggling his eyebrows at the other man. "This babe's all mine. Keep your hands off, or I'll sic Akamaru on you." Naruto's eyes widened when he saw the dog move out from behind Kiba. Impossibly, Akamaru was even bigger than the last time he'd seen him. Not taller so much, but broader in the chest, muscles rippling all over his body. The large dog growled low in his throat for a second to enforce the threat, his head lowered and teeth bared, before sitting down and panting happily, as if he were laughing.

"You got Akamaru doing all the work for you, Dog Boy?" he asked snidely, letting himself fall into the easy camaraderie he'd shared with the other man years before.

"Only when a punk's not worth my time," Kiba jibed back, sneering teasingly. All three of them smiled. Naruto noticed how comfortably Hinata was standing in the arm of the other man, and he was glad the two of them had gotten together. Kiba had liked her for a long time.

"It's about time you stopped hiding in the Uchiha complex and finally showed your face." He hadn't been hiding - he _hadn't_ \- and he decided he changed his mind. Hinata should never have lowered herself to date the idiot. The dog owner snickered at the expressions flickering across the blond's face. 

"Now that you're out though, we need to get the gang together. Everyone's been asking about you."

Naruto hesitated, not knowing if he was ready to face everyone just yet. Hinata and Kiba had been accepting of his being back - no questions, no accusations, no awkwardness - but he didn't think everyone would feel the same way. He'd just planned on having the Uchiha get fixed up and then head back, guilty for hurting the nonresistant man. He had hoped to avoid meeting anyone else. _Didn't anyone go on missions anymore?_ he thought acerbically.

"You're lucky," Kiba said, unknowingly answering his question. "Everyone's in town this week because of the Autumn Festival. You would've missed 'em completely if you'd finally grown some balls next week instead of this one."

"Kiba!" Hinata exclaimed, blushing at the coarse language. Well, it seemed like she hadn't changed completely.

"Sorry, Babe," the other man said unrepentantly. 

Just then, the hospital room door had opened, and Sasuke walked out of the room, completely healed. Both Hinata and Kiba lost their easy-going air. 

"Sasuke-kun," Hinata said politely. Kiba nodded. 

The raven nodded back to both of them. “I’m finished,” he told the blond, but he made no move to leave, waiting for Naruto to decide whether to stay or go.

The man in question looked between the three of them, slightly confused, but knew better than to mention anything. “Okay,” he said, “Let’s go then.”

He turned toward the couple and smiled, “I’ll see you guys around.”

Hinata put her hand on his arm and said, “I’m having some friends over for dinner tomorrow night. Why don’t you…and Sasuke-kun come by?” The look in her eyes was so hopeful, and he caved in against his better judgment.

“Sure thing, Hinata-chan!” 

“Wonderful,” she said, smiling brightly. “It starts at seven. See you then!”

“See you tomorrow,” he said, feeling better after seeing how happy she looked. He turned and noticed the other man had started to walk away. He hurried to follow. “Later!”

He caught up to the taller man in a few quick steps and hissed under his breath, “What’s with you and those two?”

“Hn,” Sasuke murmured. “They’ve always been your friends, not mine, Naruto.”

The blond was troubled. Something in the other man’s voice was off. “But Hinata invited you to dinner tomorrow. You’re going, right?”

The Uchiha had glanced at him quickly, slightly taken aback by the hesitancy in the question. “Of course,” he said at length. And Naruto had nodded, glad to have the company, even if it was the teme, when he faced all his old friends again.

All in all, things went rather smoothly the next night. They had arrived slightly early but were still the last ones to show. Everyone had been delighted to see the prodigal ninja, hugging him or slapping him on the back. No one seemed angry that he was walking around free after being declared a missing-nin, and except for some questions about Ame and general “what had he been doing over the past five years,” they didn’t try to pry too deeply into why he’d left or why he’d returned. 

He learned during the meal that Sakura and Lee were dating, and Kiba and Hinata were expected to tie the knot soon. Neji, apparently, was dating a shinobi from another village, but no one knew whom, and he refused to say. Shino was engaged, but it was an arranged marriage, and he’d still not even met the bride. Shikamaru, Chouji and Ino were single, although significant glances had gone around the room when that news had been shared. And although the two men weren’t there, Kakashi and Iruka were living together.

Naruto had been astounded by all the news. Who’d known Kakashi and Iruka were gay? Or that they were gay for each other? He hadn’t realized the two of them really interacted all that much. Uncomfortable silence had descended on the room for a minute before he’d been told they had started spending a lot of time together after he’d disappeared.

Still, other than one or two awkward moments, the night had gone really well, and he’d been happy to be around his friends once again. Through it all, however, Sasuke had sat mostly silent at his side. Sakura had talked to him a time or two, but other than that, everyone else seemed to mostly ignore him.

A week later, he found out from Sakura the next time she visited that after the news had spread about why Naruto had left so suddenly, the animosity towards the last Uchiha had increased tenfold. He’d been touched to know his friends had reacted that way on his behalf, but it made him uncomfortable that they were still treating the other man so distantly.

Sakura had told him that was more Sasuke’s fault than theirs. All of them respected his abilities, and none of them could deny that he was a major asset in a fight. He’d saved the lives of several of them and their fellow ninja over the years. And after everyone had seen how single-minded he became looking for the blond ninja, they’d eventually come to accept, if not forgive, him. But the raven kept himself isolated. 

People had tried to make overtures to him, but he’d politely declined. Ever since Naruto had left, the older man had withdrawn in on himself. The dinner was the first social gathering he’d been to in quite some time. 

He’d been surprised. Sasuke had agreed to accompany him so easily.

She’d smiled at him. “Well, that’s because it’s you, silly.” It had given him a lot to think about.

He also found out why no one had asked him too many questions about his time away from Konoha. Tsunade had apparently called them all into her office and explained the situation to them. She had asked them to not bombard him with questions when they saw him and to give him a chance to settle in. They’d all agreed, glad to have the blond back. 

When Naruto had heard that news, he’d wondered if his friends had been ordered to treat him well. Sakura had nearly broken his jaw when he’d asked that question angrily. 

“Don’t demean your friends like that!” she’d yelled. “They love you, and everyone’s been so happy you’ve finally come home.” 

He had flinched at her words, ashamed for thinking poorly of them. 

She softened at his reaction. “When you first left,” she said quietly, “a lot of people were angry. Neji thought you should’ve put your duty to the village before your own concerns, and Shikamaru – well, he said there was nothing worse than deserting your friends.”

Naruto had listened stoically to her revelations, refusing to show how much they affected him.

“It took a while for everyone to calm down. But the longer you were gone, the more people missed you, and…we just wanted you to come back home. Everyone realized that things must’ve been horribly wrong for you to leave Konoha behind. When Sasuke left for Ame, Kakashi told us that he was searching for you – that you’d been helping people over there. Although you’d left us…you’d found other people to protect…and it made it a lot easier to come to terms with your absence.”

She’d sighed, smiling at him gently. “I won’t deny that some of the villagers think you got off easy for leaving, but a lot of people admire you for giving up the position of leader of Hidden Rain to come back.”

Apparently, the news had somehow “leaked” about how the blond ninja had been brought back without a fight. It explained the odd looks he’d received, weird, speculative glances as if people were sizing him up. They weren’t hateful, just puzzled, as if people were confused about him.

He actually wasn’t bothered by the looks since he seemed to be reciprocating the bewildered stares.

Where were the angry glares and the obvious avoidance from before? Where were the people that had hated him simply because he was a Jinchuuriki and carried the nine-tailed demon fox? Considering he was merging with the bijuu, the red streaks in his hair silent testimony to the fact, why weren’t people more afraid?

It had been Sasuke who’d answered that question for him. 

“Usuratonkachi, before you left, people had already begun accepting you. You were always so busy trying to _make_ them acknowledge you that you didn’t realize when they were actually _doing_ it. The fact that you were the leader of another shinobi village, that the citizens of Ame wanted you above anyone else, adds to your reputation. And then they hear that you gave all that up to come back to Konoha.” The raven had shrugged. “Yes, you’re merging with Kyuubi, but all it’s seemed to have done is make you stronger. So now, they look at you and wonder, what else can he do?”

Naruto had nodded dumbly. He hadn’t known what to say to that. 

Of course, not everyone’s reactions had gone so smoothly. Iruka, after hugging him so tightly he couldn’t even breath for a good full five minutes, had started shouting and hitting him. He’d had to run for miles before losing the Chuunin, dodging strikes all the while. It was a good thing he had so much stamina. 

Iruka had made it up to him the next day, buying him all the ramen he could eat.

Kakashi had been one of the ninja in the room with the Hokage at the time he’d been given the ultimatum to return to Konoha, and that had made things tense at first. Not that the copy-nin had seemed to notice. The scarecrow had squinted his eye in a smile, cocked his head and said, “Yo. It’s good to have you back Naruto.” 

He hadn’t really known how to respond, but Iruka had been standing there, watching the two of them so anxiously, that he’d tried to ignore the resentment he’d been feeling. So he’d smiled back, rubbing the back of his head. “It’s nice seeing you again, Kakashi. No bells this time?”

The taller man had chuckled. “After nearly ruining my book the last time we did that, I know better now than to test how much you’ve grown.” He’d pulled out one of his infamous books, and Naruto had felt a pang that it wasn’t one of Jiraiya’s. But then Iruka had blushed and yelled at the Jounin for reading that when they had guests, and somehow, by the time he’d left the two of them, most of the resentment had faded away.

\-------------

_Present_

Sasuke’s sword rose to block the blond’s, and the two of them stayed pressed together in that position for a long moment, blades locked, feral grins in place. The raven didn’t let it show, but he was soaking in the proximity to the other man.

Fighting like this was the only time when Naruto would allow him to be so close for an extended period of time. Oh, it wasn’t that the shorter man avoided touching him altogether. Naruto didn’t think anything of it if he brushed by Sasuke while they were passing in a room. The shorter man wouldn’t hesitate to brush off a stray leaf or piece of debris from his shirt. And if the two of them were in a crowded room, sitting pressed together, the other man never tensed up or shied away from the close contact.

But Naruto never touched him in more than that off-hand friendly fashion. He never slugged him on the arm in jest or poked him in order to get his attention. He never put an arm around his shoulders or gave him a casual hug in greeting as with his other friends. And he had never once tried to kiss him. 

Which is why, even though the nine past months had been some of the best of his life, they’d also been some of the most torturous. Because he saw the blond every day, lived with him, loved him – but the other man had erected a wall that could not be crossed. They spent all their free time together. They talked, they joked, they sparred, but Naruto never allowed it to go further than that. And Sasuke didn’t know what else to do.

He knew that he should be grateful they had even managed to reach this stage. Naruto had forgiven him for the betrayal, for the manipulations, for the affair…but not for completely throwing away the bond that had tied them together. The blond had absolved him of each separate crime he’d committed, but the consequences of his actions could not be overlooked. And so even though a stranger watching the two of them would think they were as close as can be, anyone who knew them realized the truth. 

The tiny distance separating them was too large to surpass. 

"Give it up, Sasuke!" Naruto cried, leaning forward, trying to force the taller man back. The raven wasn’t using his chakra in order to keep the battle fair, and the two men were evenly matched. 

"I will never give up," he replied calmly, meaning every word.

It wasn't like he hadn't tried to breach the invisible boundary the blond had raised. He had made his intentions known from the very first, but he was only willing to push so far. He didn't want to drive the other man away by being too aggressive, especially since Naruto had reacted to his early efforts by locking himself in his room and avoiding him for days after every time he’d made a move. So he’d tried to subtly woo him instead, bringing him things he knew the blond liked, leaving the chakra cuffs off of him as long as possible, trying to open himself more and not be so taciturn. 

The other man had noticed his efforts and appreciated them, but it went no further than that.

Sometimes, it was enough to make Sasuke want to kill someone, he was so frustrated. But he wouldn’t give up. Not on Naruto.

They jumped apart and starting circling each other, looking for any weaknesses. The shorter man was just tensing his legs in preparation to charge when they heard the call of the messenger bird. They both looked up in time to see a scroll falling from the sky, which Sasuke caught easily. He quickly perused the summons, frowning slightly.

“Tsunade-sama wants you,” he said briefly. A quick jutsu, and the scroll was gone, burnt to ashes. He turned and started to walk away, not wanting to show how disturbed he felt. “An envoy from Rain is here.”

Naruto’s eyes widened. Someone from Rain was in Konoha? He spared one quick look at the retreating man’s back before starting to run back to the Uchiha district, ignoring the ever-present Anbu shadowing him. He would have to shower and change before going to the Hokage’s office, and he didn’t have the time to chase after the other man. Besides, he was eager to hear about what was going on in Ame, and he wondered who they’d sent.

\-------------

“Shin?” he asked, staring in surprise at his former lover who was standing outside the doors to the Hokage’s office. “What are you doing here? Did you just get in today?”

The current leader of Ame turned, a small but pleased smile on his face. “Kioshi!” he said. “I’m so happy you’re here.” He walked forward and folded the shorter man into his arms. “So happy…”

“Shin…” Naruto said, puzzled, but glad to see the other man. He returned the embrace but pulled out of it quickly. It felt weird holding the Rain ninja now, especially in front of the Anbu guarding Tsu— Where were the Anbu? As a matter of fact, where was Shin’s escort? The hallway was deserted except for the two of them. 

The taller man must have noticed his confusion, because he said, “Everyone else is inside with the Hokage. Inoue-san and I are here for some trade talks, but I asked for a chance to speak with you alone …for old time’s sake.” He drew the blond into a side room, closing the door to give them some privacy. 

Naruto looked around. It was just one of the sitting rooms, used so guests could wait comfortably when Tsunade was occupied. Two chairs, a sofa and a small table were the only furniture. He could see someone had put refreshments on the table. The large window in the back of the room was open, allowing a cool breeze to enter the room.

He turned to face back towards the brunet, but was shocked when he was immediately pulled into the other’s arms. This time, however, Shin tilted his head and kissed him, lips pressing hungrily against his own. Naruto opened his mouth to object, but the other man’s tongue moved into the gap provided, silencing any words.

For a second, he let himself relax, let himself enjoy the physical attention he’d been without for almost a year. Shin had always been a good lover, considerate and passionate, and he couldn’t deny the feelings of lust that rose within him. However, something just didn’t feel right, and Naruto pulled away. 

“Kioshi,” the other man murmured, pressing his face into red-streaked blond hair. “It’s been too long.”

“What’s going on, Shin?” Naruto asked, pushing the other man away gently. “What’s with all this?” He was honestly puzzled. The two of them had exchanged letters over the past months, but they’d been short. His letters were read by Anbu in order to ensure no treacherous information was revealed – a precaution the Council had demanded until he was reinstated as a Leaf nin – and neither man had really wanted to include much personal information in the public correspondences.

“What?” the taller man asked, eyes twinkling merrily. He allowed the blond to put some distance between the two of them, but he kept his hands clasped around the other’s upper arms. “I can’t be happy to see you after all this time?”

“Well, sure,” Naruto flushed, “I mean, I’m glad to see you, too, but what’s with all the touching and stuff? We stopped doing that sort of thing before I even left Rain.”

Shin chuckled, apparently not concerned that he was doing anything out of the ordinary. “There was a lot going on back then, and you didn’t have time for a lover to get in the way. That doesn’t mean my feelings for you ever changed, Kio – Naruto.”

The blond looked at him in surprise. That was the first time the other man had ever mentioned feelings of any kind to him, and the first time he’d ever said his real name. 

Shin became serious. “Just because I went to Imba on the Council’s behest did not mean that everything was a lie. I was never able to tell you before, but – but I’ve always cared for you a great deal.”

“I care about you, too,” the shorter man said, wondering where the conversation was going.

“No, Naruto,” the Rain ninja murmured, his eyes intent. “I care about you as a friend, yes, but my feelings went beyond that a long time ago.”

“What—” the blond cleared a suddenly dry throat, momentarily hypnotized by the look in the other man’s eyes. It was a familiar emotion – one he sometimes saw in Sasuke’s eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Shin whispered, leaning forward, “that I fell in love with you a long time ago, Koi, and I’m here to take you back home.”

At those words, the spell Naruto seemed to be falling under broke. “ _What_? Take me back to Imba?”

“To Ame, yes,” the taller man sighed, pulling back disappointedly at the other man’s reaction. 

“But, but _how_?” Naruto was in a daze. He was trapped in Konoha for another four years. How could Shin possibly get around that?

“Come on, sit down,” the brunet said, pulling the other man to the sofa with him. “This will take a bit of explaining.” He sat down, holding onto Naruto’s hand as he began to talk. The blond looked down at their conjoined hands, too bemused to notice much more than how warm the other man’s hand was.

“After you were gone, things got a lot better for us economically. Suddenly, aid was pouring in from Leaf and Sand. With the army you’d gathered filling up our missing ranks, we had ninja everywhere, a surplus of manpower that we used to rebuild homes and roads. I’m not saying that everything is perfect, but things fell into place much faster than I think anyone here expected or intended. I’m sure the Hokage and Kazekage were hoping we would be too busy to give any thought to the person who’d sacrificed himself for the village.

“No one in Ame was happy with the way you’d suddenly gone. The Council, while they appreciated the help, were resentful that Rain’s leader had been forced to surrender himself to another ninja nation. We are a fiercely proud group, Ki – Naruto. We’ve had to be. Sometimes pride is all we’ve had. Just because we were allied with two of the five great countries did not mean that we stopped sending out feelers to other nations. While we didn’t have a history with some of them, we cannot be taken lightly anymore – thanks to you. You bound together shinobi from all over into a cohesive fighting unit, and other villages want to take part in our power. 

“Not to say that we could defeat Leaf and Sand easily, but they have enemies, ninja who would be happy to see either or both of them fall. With our other allies, we would make it difficult for them to win, difficult enough that they won’t go to war with us if they can help it.”

“What are you saying?” Naruto whispered, his blue eyes wide and troubled.

“I’m saying,” Shin spoke lowly, nervous about his next words, “that I’ve been using the time you’ve been gone to study up on ninja law, and I’ve found a way to bring you back to me. You’re no longer a missing-nin – even if you are not fully a citizen of Konoha again. You’re on probation, but you’re technically not a criminal anymore, and I’ve found a way to take advantage of this uncertain middle ground you’re in. I’m saying I want you to come back to Ame with me…as my spouse.”

“ _What_?” the blond exclaimed. He jerked in surprise, but the other man clutched his hand, refusing to let it go.

“Marry me,” the Rain ninja said earnestly, hazel eyes searching the shorter man’s face, trying to get a glimpse of what his answer would be. “It’s not uncommon for ninja to marry outside of their village. Your own mother was from Whirlpool, correct? But she stayed in Leaf to be with your father.” 

“But they won’t let me go,” Naruto said, his voice detached in his shock.

“I am the leader of Hidden Rain, an ally to Konoha. Their own government declared that you would be reinstated as a ninja after your sentence is over, and if I were willing to wait that long, to see you suffer like this for that long, then there’d be no reason for them to refuse me. But I’m not. I don’t have the patience or the sadism to watch them keep you locked up for four more years. Marry me, Naruto, and you can come back to where you belong.”

“But the demon…”

“We have our own spies, you know. We’ve discovered that it was mainly Tsunade’s doing that you’re back and alive. Leaf’s Council wanted a dead missing-nin, not a living, rogue Jinchuuriki. Oh, once they had you back, they were relieved to discover you had the bijuu under control and weren’t going to go crazy. Suddenly, they were willing to keep you alive and take advantage of all that power in their possession. They want you here now. They want to keep you.”

“What do you—?” 

“Not all of them, of course. Some of them still fear the Kyuubi and fear what you will become, but most of them finally see your…potential. It makes things harder for me actually. When I first started looking into the law, I thought that the Hokage would be the only one standing in the way of getting you back. When I realized I would have to maneuver around your Council as well, I doubled my efforts to find ways around Leaf and Sand.”

“Wait, just…just wait. I don’t understand…” Naruto’s head was spinning. It was all too much for him to take in. Shin wanted to marry him? He could be free? 

The taller man sighed heavily. “Of course. I didn’t mean to tell you all of this all at once, but I let myself get carried away.” He stood up, drawing the blond up with him. “I have to get back now. I’ve been gone too long.”

Shin walked to the door, still holding his hand. Just before stepping into the hall, he once again pulled the other man into his arms. The shorter man allowed it, blue eyes searching hazel for answers. 

“Naruto,” the Rain ninja said softly, too low for anyone else to hear, “I know I never told you how I felt. I wanted to, countless times, but I was afraid of driving you away. You were so…broken…when I first met you.” The other man looked at him in surprise. How had Shin known?

“Every time I looked at you, your eyes revealed so much pain. You never let anyone get close to you. Oh, you were friendly, but you kept people at a distance…you kept _me_ at a distance. We could’ve been – I wanted to be—” He sighed, unable to find the words. “Every time I thought we were getting closer, you started to freeze up and avoid me. Pretending I was interested in other partners was the only way to get you to relax again. I don’t want anyone else though. You. I just want you.”

Naruto was frozen, unable to believe what he was hearing.

“I gave you as much space as I could, watched you take other lovers,” graceful fingers tightened briefly, “all in the hopes that you would eventually heal and recognize my feelings for you. It didn’t matter. I would’ve shared you with my sister, with that Uchiha, with anyone if it meant that you would stay with me. Then Konoha took you, and suddenly…I didn’t have anything of you anymore. But now, I’ve found a way to have you all to myself. Just you and me. Naruto, Naruto…marry me. I promise you I will make you happy.”

The blond stuttered, not knowing what to say, what to do. “I-I-Shin, I—”

“I know,” he said, looking deeply in wide blue eyes, “that you always missed Konoha. I know it. But look what they’ve done to you. You’re chained, nothing but a former missing-nin for them to scorn and pity. You are incredibly strong, but they keep you locked away, and for what? For leaving a village that hurt you, for leaving a man who threw away everything you held dear.” 

Shin’s words were weaving a hypnotic spell around Naruto. They made him doubt himself, because they carried the truth. His words made so much sense.

“I would never hurt you like that, Naruto. Ame has never hurt you like that. You can come back to me, to us. Wouldn’t that be better?”

“Shin, I, I don’t know what to—” 

“Shh…it’s okay. You don’t have to answer me right away. I know…you don’t feel the same way about me…yet.” The taller man’s eyes dimmed at the words. “But I could – Naruto, I want to…just a chance…” 

They were both startled when they heard a loud rapping. The ninja who’d knocked on the door to the Hokage’s office went into the room, letting the sound of voices spill out. They’d both been too preoccupied to notice him as he’d walked down the hall. 

“I have to go,” the Rain ninja whispered. “Our meetings end tomorrow afternoon. Will you find me before then?”

“Yes,” Naruto whispered back, his troubled gaze meeting hopeful eyes. “I’ll let you know tomorrow.”

“I love you,” Shin whispered, kissing him gently. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

And then he was gone.

Naruto slowly left the room, never noticing the madly spinning Sharingan eyes that spied through the window watching him go. 

\-----------

How dare he? _How dare he?_ Sasuke flew across the rooftops back to his home, fists clenched so tightly, blood dripped off his hands. More than one ninja below him tracked his progress, wondering at the killing intent radiating so fiercely off of him.

Against his better judgment, he had followed Naruto to the Hokage tower, keeping his chakra to the bare minimum. With so many shinobi around, unless someone was specifically looking for his chakra signature, it would be easy to blend into the background levels.

He’d not liked the summons for Naruto to greet the Rain envoy. It hadn’t been a message to see Tsunade but to see his former village, and Sasuke had been worried about how it would affect the blond. The other man was finally getting comfortable in Konoha again, and he didn’t want that to be ruined by reminders of the past. 

He had never suspected, however, that Shin would want to see Naruto alone. As the presiding Anbu over the other man, he always reviewed all the letters the blond sent out and received. He’d felt uncomfortable about the intrusion of privacy, but he done his duty. The two of them had never exchanged anything other than friendly comments, nothing to suspect their relationship hadn’t died out when Naruto had returned to Leaf.

Sasuke jumped down into the courtyard of his home, landing silently even in his rage. He didn’t even notice his Sharingan was still activated.

He’d scanned the tower from the outside, looking for the tell-tale red chakra that was contained by the suppression cuffs but still visible. When he’d located his dobe, he’d scaled the wall, inching toward the window sill of the room Naruto and Shin had been using. No one stopped the Anbu Captain from watching over his charge. 

What he’d heard... He had almost leapt into the room, but he’d held back, wanting to know what Naruto would say…dreading what Naruto would say.

But the blond had been so shocked, he hadn’t really said anything. He’d simply let himself be held as the seductive words flowed over him.

Sasuke stood trembling, his anger building and building inside of him. For a second, the drip, drip, drip of his bloodied hands was the only sound.

When the two of them had moved to the door, he’d been unable to hear anything more. He could read lips with the Sharingan, but Naruto’s head had blocked the taller man’s mouth. At the very end, however, they’d moved just enough, and he’d seen. He’d seen the other man tell the blond he loved him.

Ally or no, he would kill the Rain ninja for touching what was his.

And Naruto? He still didn’t know what the blond had said, what promises he’d made. Sasuke shuddered, his heart constricting in fear.

What had Naruto said while his back was turned to him?

Fear gripped his heart, and he had trouble breathing. He was going to lose him.

He heard a sound inside the house, and his head snapped up violently. Naruto was back.

\------------------

Naruto walked slowly into the house, hoping Sasuke would stay out in the courtyard. Although his chakra was constrained, he could still sense others’ chakra signatures, and the angry, boiling power from the other man was all too evident. He didn’t know what had the raven so upset, but his own thoughts were too hectic and clouded for him to face it at the moment.

He moved silently up the stairs to his room, wondering at what Sasuke could possibly be so mad about. The other man never displayed that much emotion. He opened the door and stepped inside, pausing just inside. Sasuke never displayed that much emotion unless it was about Itachi…or more recently, him.

He couldn’t possibly know about Shin – could he? 

He heard a bang from downstairs and turned. What—? 

Naruto’s breath exploded out as he felt a huge impact against his chest, sending him crashing against the wall. 

Ugh! His head made a loud crack against the plaster, and for a second, he literally saw stars, even as he was coughing and trying desperately to get his breath back. His efforts weren’t helped by the arms lodged firmly against his throat.

“Sas— _cough, cough_ —what—?” His hands scrabbled uselessly against the chakra-infused arm. Without his own chakra to call upon, his strength was no match for the taller man’s.

“ _You let him touch you_ ,” Sasuke growled. Visions of Shin embracing Naruto, holding his hand, kissing him, paraded across his mind’s eye, perfectly captured by the Sharingan. All the things he’d been longing to do with the blond, all the things he would’ve sold his soul to do, and the Rain ninja came and took them with barely any effort.

“How could you?” the raven whispered, never noticing his voice cracking from despair or the lone tear that fell down his cheek. But Naruto heard, he saw, and it made him stop his struggling. 

“Sasuke,” he rasped out, still trying to catch his breath. “I—” 

“Mine,” Sasuke whispered, not even hearing the shorter man. “You’re mine.” Black eyes hardened. “And I will prove it to you.”

The Uchiha leaned over and pressed his mouth to Naruto’s in a bruising kiss. It held nothing of love, only jealousy and possession. It was a branding of ownership, and the blond rebelled.

He twisted his head to the side. “Get off me!” But the other man ignored his cry.

He started fighting again, trying to push against the taller man’s chest, but the brunet didn’t budge. Sasuke lowered his arm from the other man’s neck and gripped the younger man’s hips, forcing one leg between Naruto’s and grinding his own hips forward harshly. He moved his head down slightly, biting sharply against the tan neck.

“Fuck!” Naruto cursed, wincing as he felt teeth pierce skin. He was through trying to be gentle. He swung his arms up, intending to smack his palms against Sasuke’s ears. He wouldn’t do it hard enough to burst the other man’s eardrums, but it would definitely get the teme off of him and give him a huge headache to go with it.

But the blows never landed. Without ever pausing, the raven caught the two wrists and slammed them against the wall above the blond’s head. 

Naruto ignored the slight pain and would’ve brought one knee up into the other man’s groin, but Sasuke anticipated his movements, forcing both legs between his own. The shorter man gritted his teeth at the increased friction, ignoring the undesired reaction the grinding was producing in his body. He would have no part in this.

He brought up his right leg, striking behind the other man’s knee with his heel. It buckled, causing the taller man to stumble momentarily, and Naruto used the slight loosening of his wrists to wrench his arms free. He pulled back a fist and sent it crashing into the taller man’s cheek, causing him to stumble back.

“I said ‘ _Get off!_ ’” he roared, already pulling back his arm to punch Sasuke again, but the raven caught his wrist and fell backward, bringing up his legs and using his feet to propel Naruto over his head.

The blond had just enough time to think ‘shit!’ before he was landing painfully against the edge of the sofa arm. 

He cried out as his back connected sharply with the edge, pain blossoming all along his spine, before he fell onto the floor in a heap. Fuck! Black crept across in his vision, but he struggled to clear it quickly. He lost precious seconds trying to recover from the landing, and then it was too late. Sasuke was on top of him.

The Uchiha took advantage of the chakra cuffs to restrain Naruto. When fully activated, they had the dual ability to magnetize, and the blond’s wrists were suddenly locked together. Sasuke rapidly pressed several pressure points on the body underneath him, temporarily numbing the shorter man’s arms and legs. It wasn’t an effective way of incapacitating a prisoner since feeling and movement would gradually return. There was no way to know how long it would take, each person’s recovery time varied, but the older man obviously felt it would give him enough time to – finish. 

Naruto started cursing and yelling, but even that was curtailed when the raven performed a jutsu, silencing him. He could open his mouth, but no sound emerged. Anbu knew hundreds of ways to restrain their captives. Anbu Captains knew even more.

Sasuke couldn’t really be planning to…the blond nearly shivered, but he refused to give the other man the satisfaction. He tried to move his arms and legs, but they didn’t respond to his commands. 

Nothing. He couldn’t do anything.

Flashes of red appeared in his eyes as he tried to gather his chakra. It was amazing that he could even get that much reaction, but it was hopeless. His breath started coming faster and faster as he realized he had no way to escape, and he couldn’t even recognize the man looming over him. He had never seen the raven look so possessed. 

It took everything he had to make himself calm down. He would not let this break him! Sasuke had already taken too much from him. 

He started to do mental exercises, detaching himself from his body. It was one of the way’s ninja were able to withstand torture, to distance their inner selves from the pain their physical forms were suffering.

But all his mental preparation shattered when the other man pulled down his pants and engulfed him in one smooth movement.

 _Oh fuck!_ His back arched involuntarily as Sasuke brought him to full arousal quickly. Tongue and teeth played along him, forcing his body to react even as he struggled to not feel anything.

He hadn’t expected the brunet to pleasure him, and he was unprepared for the sensual assault. 

Sasuke’s head bobbed as the raven moved up and down his length, applying steady amounts of suction and pressure. Fingers massaged his testicles, intensifying the sensations. He panted as heat began to build low in his stomach. It had been too long since he’d had sex, and he was already so close.

He was distantly aware of strong hands spreading his immobile thighs.

No, no! He wouldn’t be a willing accomplice to his own rape! He renewed his struggles, trying to push away the haze of pleasure. He had to do something! Always a fast healer, he could feel tingles starting in his arms and legs, but they continued to remain unresponsive. Fuck!

A dry finger rubbed against his entrance, massaging the opening but not pushing in, and he bucked, trying to force the taller man off of him as his nervousness increased. He gritted his teeth as the movement only caused him to push deeper into the raven’s mouth. Small sparks of pleasure were shooting up his body, but he ignored them as much as he was able. He. Would. Not. Allow. This. To. Happen!

But he could feel his orgasm drawing closer.

Abruptly, Sasuke pulled completely off of him, and he went limp for a second in relief – and disappointment. But he tensed again quickly as he realized what was next.

He turned blazing eyes up to his captor who had settled between his thighs. He would kill Sasuke for this.

“You’re mine,” the other man said once again, equally furious black eyes gazing down into his own. “I’ve waited for years to have you again, done everything I could to prove myself to you, but it’s never enough! You keep me at arm’s length, but as soon as he comes back into your life— Why am I not enough?” Pale fingers encircled his still-hard cock, starting a punishing rhythm. He jerked in response. He didn’t know why his body continued to betray him. His anger and fear should’ve made arousal impossible, but his body had always reacted to the teme.

He mouthed the words, _I won’t forgive you for this_ , and Sasuke flinched violently, his hand slowing. But then his expression firmed, and his hand continued its relentless pumping, causing the blond to shudder. “Then it’s just one more thing to add to the list of things you will never forgive me for.”

The raven sucked on his own fingers, coating them with his saliva as Naruto’s eyes got large. Once again he tried to move his legs, however, although the tingling sensation had gotten stronger, they still refused to obey his commands. He wasn’t going to escape from this. He closed his eyes and turned his head away.

He felt one finger push its way inside of him. He ignored the discomfort, even when another finger slowly slipped inside as well. Saliva as lubricant was barely better than going in dry, and he could feel tiny jolts of pain as the two digits moved inside of him. 

When Sasuke began to rub insistently against his prostate, he was glad his eyes were already closed, not wanting to show just how pleasurable the sensation was. But he couldn’t control the minute twitches and shudders as his body responded to the stimulus. When the raven’s head lowered to lick his cock, he was glad the other man’s eyes were no longer on his face, so he wouldn’t feel the humiliation of being watched as he lost the battle over his reactions.

Fuck, he despaired. Why did it have to feel so good?

He realized his hips were thrusting into that hot mouth and pushing back against those devilish fingers, and his cheeks burned. How long had he been doing that? It was the last coherent thought he had for a while.

Sasuke was torturing him. His body writhed, sweat glistening along his entire frame. Every time he would get close to release, to the blissful oblivion where he could pretend none of this was happening, the other man would slow down. He would pull back and slow his fingers, keeping Naruto teetering on the edge of the abyss for what felt like an eternity. 

It finally got to the point where one hard suck would be enough, or one more push against his prostate, but the older man just licked him leisurely, his fingers pumping slowly and steadily, barely grazing the bundle of nerves inside of him. He hadn’t wanted this, but now…now he needed it more than he needed to breathe. 

“Sasuke,” he gasped, his head thrashing side to side. He didn’t even realize the other man had lifted the silencing jutsu. “Please…” His fingers threaded through silky hair, pushing down insistently, but the dark head pulled back. He whined low in his throat.

“Tell me you want me,” the raven commanded, eyes filmed over with lust by what he was doing but still hard and intent. 

Naruto’s gaze was trapped, and he wanted to resist, knew in some part of himself that there was a reason he should withhold those words, but Sasuke chose that moment to press gently against his prostate, and he convulsed, his train of thought shattering.

“I-I do. I want you so much!” 

“Tell me you love me,” Sasuke said in a low voice, rubbing his palm against the tip of the blond’s cock. And all of the other man’s despair and hope were visible in his eyes.

“Ah! Sasuke!” It was all too much, the barrage of sensations, the turbulent emotions, and it broke down the wall he’d built up, crumbling his resistance to nothing. He inhaled sharply at the ache in his chest, and he knew, he knew, he had always loved the other man. 

But still, he couldn’t say it. 

And for a short eternity, the older man was still, waiting for the words he so desperately wanted to hear. But there was only silence. 

And Sasuke bowed his head in defeat. 

In a burst of movement, the Uchiha pulled off his clothes, tearing them in his haste, until he was completely naked and on all fours over the blond.

“Do you want this?” he asked hoarsely. “Naruto?”

The raven’s actions gave Naruto enough time to breathe and think. His arms and legs were working again. He could move away now. Fighting hadn’t worked too well earlier, but there was still the possibility he could escape. If he agreed, he wouldn’t be able to blame Sasuke for what was to happen.

But he wanted this. He had wanted it since the very first day he’d seen the other man again.

“Yes.” The word was a sigh of acceptance.

“Naruto,” the taller man whispered before lowering his head to kiss him.

It was a gentle melding of breath and tongues, nothing like the kisses that had come before. This had nothing of possession or anger. It was full of longing and denied feelings, holding sadness and pain for both of them.

The blond’s eyes popped open when he felt Sasuke grip his penis and start to lower himself down. What the hell? Was the teme really doing what he thought he was doing? He actually looked down to be certain.

Sure enough, the brunet’s features were twisted in pain as he impaled himself onto Naruto’s thick arousal.

Why was he doing this? Naruto had been prepared to submit, had allowed it, so why—?

“Sas—?” He gasped breathlessly. Hell, if it was hurting _him_ this much to enter the other man, how much was it hurting Sasuke? Inch by inch, he was swallowed up, and his eyes rolled back in his head at the constricting heat.

The raven was making a low sound at the back of his throat, panting heavily as he forced his body to accommodate the hard length. Naruto wanted to tell him to stop hurting himself, to hold him still, but there were too many conflicting signals of pleasure and pain running through his body, short circuiting his thoughts and voice.

When the taller man had lowered himself completely down onto the blond’s thighs, he finally stilled, giving them both time to adjust. The only sound in the room was their raspy breathing, fast and loud. 

Naruto’s hands opened and closed helplessly as he struggled not to move. He knew that he needed to be patient, especially after the way Sasuke had forced himself down on him, but he’d been so close just a few minutes ago, and his cock was burning from the too-tight friction. He was half crazed with desire. All he wanted to do was thrust, pushing his way into the flesh above him until his strokes became smooth and fast, until the other man was screaming in ecstasy, until they both fell over the brink and there was nothing but white.

But he waited, because…because Sasuke was relinquishing control, was surrendering himself to Naruto, was marking him, was taking him…and because it was Sasuke.

Finally, the other man’s eyes opened, signs of discomfort still evident but beginning to lessen. The raven started to move, and it was uncomfortable for the both of them. Without any lube, it was rough and slightly awkward, skin catching against flesh, making the strokes uneven and ragged. Eventually, however, Naruto’s gentle thrusts were met with less resistance as muscle loosened and what the blond strongly suspected was blood eased the way. 

He didn’t stop though. It all felt too good, the pain adding a sharp edge to the pleasure, and from the sounds and expressions on Sasuke’s face, the other man agreed with him. 

With his wrists still bound together, he couldn’t grab the raven’s hips, so he pulled the other man down to him, kissing him with all the tenderness he’d hidden away until now. 

“Naruto,” Sasuke whispered against his lips, “I love you.”

“I—” He couldn’t say the words.

The taller man pulled back, smiling sadly, continuing his gently rhythm as he moved atop him.

And Naruto’s heart ached at the sight of that false smile, those too bright eyes. His heart pounded, and the heavy emotion weighed down his chest, causing tears to spill from his eyes. Tears for the both of them.

“I’m sorry,” he said. Sorry that he couldn’t say the words, even though he felt them. Sorry that the distance between the two of them seemed too vast to ever surmount. Sorry that he was hurting the other man, because he had never meant for that to happen. Sorry that freedom was a decision away, and if he left, it was unlikely he would ever come back.

And Sasuke just wiped his tears away with trembling fingers. “You always were a dobe.”

Then, the older man picked up the pace, slamming himself down onto the blond, over and over again, pale fingers digging into a tan chest.

“Ah! Sasuke!” Naruto shouted, heels and shoulders digging into the wood floor as his hips arched up convulsively. His tied hands grabbed onto one undulating hip, forcing himself deeper into the other man, the raven’s answering shout overriding the sound of flesh hitting flesh and resounding in the room. 

He was so close! He moved his hands to the red cock above him, pumping it furiously, his grip almost too harsh. But it drove Sasuke over the edge, and his head fell back, eyes wide and unseeing, mouth open in a soundless scream. His whole body shuddered as ribbons of come flew out onto the younger man’s stomach and chest.

The muscle clenching around him was all Naruto needed to follow him, crying out hoarsely as he emptied himself into the man above him, thrusting convulsively. Blackness threatened his vision as jolts of pleasure coursed through him, making his body quiver and his eyelids heavy. But he forced himself to push the sensations aside, to keep his eyes open and memorize what Sasuke looked like in that moment. The sweat glistening on the heaving alabaster chest, the long line of his neck, the dazed black eyes…he was so beautiful. 

When the Uchiha finally collapsed on top of him, too tired to move, he took control, gently pulling out and nestling the taller man onto his chest and bringing his bound arms around the other’s back. He ran his hands down Sasuke’s skin, soothing him as their hearts and breaths slowed down.

Strangely enough, he didn’t feel bad about had just occurred. He knew he should be angry with the way Sasuke had started things, but all he felt was an odd peacefulness. Like everything between the two of them, it had begun with conflict. But the other man had put the choice in his hands at the end and had laid himself bare, completely open and vulnerable. He would not regret such a gift. 

Besides, if he went with Shin, then this would be the last time he would have the opportunity to have sex with Sasuke, and he was glad the raven had forced the issue. He would’ve always thought about it otherwise.

Reluctantly, he broke the silence. 

“How much did you hear?” he asked softly. There was no need to specify what he was referring to.

“Enough,” Sasuke said, and Naruto closed his eyes at the tone of his voice. The other man buried his head in the crook of the blond’s neck, one hand gently caressing tan skin.

“It would certainly solve all your problems, wouldn’t it?” The Uchiha chuckled humorlessly. “You wouldn’t be in chains anymore. You wouldn’t be in Konoha anymore. You wouldn’t have to be with me anymore.” 

He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but no sound emerged. 

“Have you made a decision yet?” They were speaking so calmly, without any of the anger that had always marked their conversations about the past.

“No…I told him I would answer tomorrow.”

“Then before you decide, will you stay and listen?”

Naruto sighed. He didn’t want to talk about what had happened anymore. He didn’t want to think about the two of them – not when he was so close to being free. But this could be the last time…

“Alright,” he said. “Alright.”


	13. Chapter 13

Naruto wandered the dark streets of Konoha, his thoughts in turmoil.

_Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke..._

The name reverberated in his head, in his heart, over and over again.

_What am I going to do now?_

Hours after Sasuke's sudden attack and admission, he still didn't know what his decision was going to be. Ame or Konoha? Shin or Sasuke? To go or to stay?

_Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke..._

If only it were as easy as his heart wanted it to be.

He ignored the dark shadow that passed by overhead as an Anbu member flitted to a nearby rooftop. He never forgot that he was being watched, but he tried not to let it bother him. He knew that Tsunade had given him as much leeway as she could.

Of course, in Ame, he wouldn't have these silent followers any longer.

_I didn't want to love you._

He sighed as Sasuke's words replayed in his mind. Even though he'd known that Sasuke had resented him for Itachi's death, it had still hurt to hear those words.

He rolled his shoulders, trying to ease the tension.

_I was ready to die in order to kill Itachi. I expected to die, and I didn't care, as long as I killed him in the process. I wanted to die._

But Sasuke hadn't killed him; Naruto had.

He gritted his teeth and remembered claw-like hands ripping into soft flesh, remembered draining his chakra to an almost deadly point as he tried every jutsu he knew, remembered pain and blood-red skies as Kyuubi came forward. Even after fighting Sasuke, Itachi had almost killed him before he'd been defeated. 

For an instant, he wondered how Sasuke would have felt if he had died. Would he have been happy that Naruto had failed, so he could try again? Would his death have even mattered when added to the death of the entire Uchiha clan?

He pressed his lips together and ran an agitated hand through his hair. He hadn’t wanted to hear Sasuke’s confession. He’d known it would bring back all the memories, all the doubts.

He trudged along, his body slow and lethargic, weighed down by the past.

_As much as I hated him, he was my brother._

He was a ninja. The blood on his hands could never fully be washed away, but he didn’t regret killing Itachi. Not really. Better him than Sasuke. He doubted Sasuke would’ve ever been able to forgive himself for it, no matter how justified he’d been. 

It was the thought that had run through his head repeatedly that day. Better him than Sasuke. But look where it had led the two of them. 

He sighed soundlessly. Still, if he had to do it all over again, he wouldn’t change his decision.

_You took everything from me._

He had known Sasuke had been enraged about Itachi's death, but he hadn't realized he had blamed him for trying to take away the second part of his ambition as well.

He kicked a stone in his path, sending it skidding across the way into the darkness.

Kids. It wasn't that he'd forgotten Sasuke had wanted to revive the clan or that he'd thought either one of them could get pregnant. 

He snorted at the thought. 

It was just that – he guessed he'd just assumed they would magically figure that out somehow. Like one day, poof, he would turn around, and there would be a few munchkins running around, livening up the Uchiha complex. The how and wherefrom of the matter, he'd simply never thought about before.

_All the sacrifices I had made, all the things I had done, were acceptable to me because I had to avenge my family. But I failed…and you didn’t. Everything I had done, everything I suffered, all the things I left behind, all the people I had abandoned…it was all meaningless._

He had never intended for that to happen. He rubbed his neck tiredly. He had never thought of it in that way before. It was obvious once Sasuke said it – but he had never meant to do that to him.

But what else could he have done? He couldn’t have stood by and done nothing! He couldn’t have watched Sasuke die! Not Sasuke. 

Not Sasuke.

_Part of me wanted to forgive you, but I couldn't._

He smiled sadly, his pounding heart slowing. Of course Sasuke couldn't just forgive him. It wasn't in his nature to forgive and forget. He'd known that, too, but he had hoped...

_Then, no matter what I did to you, you would always forgive me. And it drove me mad._

He stared at the ground in front of his feet, swallowing in order to try to wet his dry throat. He remembered thinking vaguely at the time that after Sasuke got his pound of flesh, he would finally turn back into the boy from their youth. So he'd taken every insult, every wound, every attempt to break him – and he had done nothing. It hadn't been easy for him. It wasn't in his nature to take things lying down, but...

He blinked, slightly surprised at the sudden wetness. He had tried to push the past away, but after everything that had happened in the last day, it was like living it all over again. 

He'd forgotten how much it had actually hurt him.

_I didn't want to love you._

No, he didn't doubt that had been true.

He saw motion out of the corner of his eye, and he tilted his head slightly, the bottle of beer flying past his cheek.

“Ish you!” The man slurred as he stumbled onto the path. “Demon! Monster!”

Naruto clenched his jaw but made no reply. He didn’t have time for this.

“Couldn’t believe you were really back! Go away! We dun wan you here!”

He could smell the stench of alcohol on the man from where he was standing. He held back a growl, his whole body tense. It was – shocking – to meet someone like this all of a sudden. Although he’d mentally prepared himself for this exact reaction, the absence of it in the past months had made him lower his guard.

How stupid of him.

Naruto stayed still as the drunkard weaved towards him. He knew he should go, but he waited until the man was just a foot away from him, his movements clumsy and jerky.

“Filthy demon!” he spat, and suddenly, the hands that had been so uncoordinated moments before became smooth and fast as a knife appeared and came whistling through the air at Naruto.

Naruto caught his wrist, the blade scratching the cloth at his stomach, and twisted. His attacker howled in pain, falling to his knees, the captive arm high in the air, his other arm clenching onto it, as if to try to pull it from his grasp. The knife clattered to the ground from his nerveless fingers.

Naruto looked down emotionlessly at the man. He was obviously not a ninja. He had projected his intentions from across the street. Just another citizen of Konoha. Another person who hated him for the demon inside of him. Some things, apparently, never changed.

“Get out of here,” he rasped, throwing the arm away from him. “Before I change my mind.”

He watched as the drunk staggered to his feet and, sending a frightened glance back at him, ran away from him as fast as he could.

Yes. Just another citizen of Konoha.

He looked up and spotted the Anbu right away, the Anbu that had done nothing. His hands tightened into fists. It never stopped, the hate, the—

The Anbu lowered his mask, and for an instant, Naruto looked into pale, pale eyes before the mask was raised up again.

Naruto blinked and blinked again, the tension running out of his body. He nodded to Neji slowly, a brilliant smile sliding across his face, because in that instant when their eyes had met, he had seen the myriad of emotions therein. The sympathy because of a stupid villager, the derision for the attack and the faith in Naruto's ability to handle the situation were all visible. 

He was such an idiot. His friends...they still believed in him. He watched as Neji faded into the shadows once again.

It was true that many things hadn’t changed, but that was not necessarily a bad thing. His smile faded. If he left Konoha…he’d be leaving them behind as well.

He sighed once again, his thoughts returning to their previous troubled state.

_It took me so long to realize how much I loved you. I hated it at first, hated you for forcing me to feel. But the longer you were gone, the less I hated it and the more I hated myself for driving you away._

He rubbed his forehead, digging the heel of his hand into his eye before letting it run through his hair, further mussing the strands. Metal glinted in the moonlight for one second, and he stared at the manacle around his wrist. His arm flexed.

_I'm so sorry._

He flinched as the words, dropping his arm down to his side as they echoed again and again in his mind. 

_Don't go. Stay with me. Please. Stay with me._

He ached, wetness starting to gather in his eyes, no matter how much he willed it away. He had never expected to see Sasuke – humble himself so much. He had been so – open – and vulnerable. 

_I love you, Naruto._

He stumbled in the street, nearly falling onto the ground. Why was Sasuke doing this to him? He had to go to Ame. That made sense! He’d be free. And Shin loved him. He was sure that, given enough time, he could love him back. It was the right decision! Wasn’t it? 

_Wasn’t_ it?

_Sasuke..._

What was he going to do?

\-----------------

Sasuke paced the length of the living room. Naruto had been gone all night long, ever since they’d finished talking, barely pausing to clean himself up. 

He’d done everything he could to convince him to stay in Konoha. Hadn’t he? Was there anything else he could say or offer to do to keep Naruto here? 

He paced the floor, doubt and nervousness eating away at him. 

_Long after Sasuke had finished explaining himself and asking Naruto to stay, they lay quietly on the floor, stroking each other but not saying anything._

_Unnerved by the silence, Sasuke finally murmured, “If I could take back everything I did, I swear to you I would do it.” His hand convulsed for a second on the smooth skin of Naruto’s chest, flawless skin that should scarred, ruined by the energy he’d poured inside._

_“Naruto,” he whispered when the other man gently placed his own hand on top of his, stilling the movement. Sasuke had released the magnetizing jutsu long ago._

_Finally, Naruto sighed and pulled away, rising and cleaning himself off haphazardly. He started to pull on clothes, his back to Sasuke who sat up and just watched him move._

_“What will – what will you do if I go?”_

_Sasuke contained his shudder at the words. Naruto couldn’t leave._ Please, please, _he thought, his fists clenched, pleading to gods he had long since abandoned,_ don’t let him leave me.

 _“I don’t know,” he whispered. He saw Naruto still, and he realized he had said it out loud. He hurriedly continued. “Nothing,” he said. “I – I will go on as I did before.” It was an act of selflessness so foreign to him that he almost didn't recognize it._ The things you do for love, _he sneered to himself. But he didn't ask Naruto to stay again. If being with hi— if being in Konoha was so unbearable for Naruto, then he would let him go._

_His whole body tensed at the thought, a voice inside of him roaring out a denial. Naruto was his! No one else would touch him! If he couldn't have Naruto, then no one should. He would kill Shin for touching what was his._

_The voice was hard and implacable._

_Sasuke drowned it out. He was unable to silence it completely, but he refused to give in to it. It was the same voice that had driven him to chase Itachi, the same one that had made him hurt Naruto, the same one that had made him attack him earlier._

_He shivered at the thought of what he’d almost done. The need to mark Naruto, claim him for his own, had been so overwhelming… It could have ended so much worse._

_He was obsessed with Naruto. He knew it. In comparison, Naruto’s pursuit of him years ago was nothing. He literally did not know what he would do if Naruto left him._

_But he loved him enough to not tell him that._

Sasuke whirled as the doorknob turned, his heart pounding, hope, a traitorous flutter in his chest. He forced himself to wipe all emotion from his face.

“Sasuke,” Naruto said as he walked inside, unsurprised that he was there. 

“Naruto,” he replied, not allowing himself to give any indication of his tortured state of mind. He knew by the way the other man looked at him that Naruto had come to a decision. He just didn’t know what that decision was.

His heart pounded, a sick feeling welling up in his throat.

“I – I’m going to Ame. With Shin,” Naruto said quietly, his chin up, facing Sasuke squarely as if readying himself for an attack. “I’m sorry, Sasuke. I can’t stay here anymore.”

Sasuke held himself unbearably still. 

_No, no, no, no, no…_

He wanted to rage, to deny the words coming out of Naruto’s mouth. He wanted – he wanted to hurt someone – strike until he was drenched in blood and the cries of pain drowned his own. 

_This can’t be happening…_

He wanted to kill Shin. If Shin were dead, there would be no way for Naruto to leave him.

_Don’t do this to me._

He wanted to attack Naruto – lock him up and never let him out until he loved Sasuke, loved him with the obsessive passion and ferocity he himself felt. 

_Please don’t do this._

He wanted to yell. 

_Don’t leave me._

He wanted to collapse. 

_I love you._

He wanted to throw up. 

_I love you._

Naruto waited for Sasuke to say something, and when a full minute passed without him saying a word, he licked his lips nervously. "It's just – I won’t have to – I mean, if things were different – it’s not about—” 

“Have you—” Sasuke cleared his throat awkwardly, and Naruto fell silent gratefully. “Have you told him yet?” he asked hoarsely, unable to completely mask his reaction.

“No,” Naruto said quietly, watching him intently. “I wanted to tell you first.” Naruto waited for the explosion he knew was to come. It was…strange…how calm he felt. He was worried about how Sasuke was going to react, but now that he’d made his decision, he felt…numb. 

He knew that there was no way that Sasuke would let him go. As he walked, hour after hour in the dark streets, he’d come to the conclusion that it wasn't really love that Sasuke felt. Sasuke saw him as a possession. While working in the convenience store in Ame, he’d seen plenty of kids play in front while their mothers went shopping. They would bring their toys, and then leave them on the ground, forgotten, as they explored. But as soon as another child picked up their toy… 

It was the same for Sasuke; he was sure of it. Why else had he yelled out that Naruto was his? What else could explain the sudden change of heart, the…lies? 

Because they had to be lies.

Sasuke couldn’t really love him. He was always calling him names, always acting as if Naruto were lower than him. If he really loved him, he wouldn’t have done those things to him. He wouldn’t have cheated on him – and with Sakura, no less. Sure, he'd been acting differently for the past year or so, but that was just because Naruto had kept some distance between the two of them. As soon as Naruto dropped his barriers, Sasuke would go back to being the way he'd been before. It was…the chase…that really interested Sasuke. 

He ignored the voice inside of him that clamored for attention and pushed it down. He was good at ignoring it. He had ignored it his entire life. He never allowed himself room for second thoughts. He had made his decision, and it was final now. 

He waited for Sasuke to attack, looked forward to it. After all, if he'd ambushed him after just seeing Shin kiss him, what lengths would he go to when Naruto decided to actually go with the Rain ninja? Even knowing he wouldn't be able to protect himself fully, he wanted Sasuke to come at him. 

Anything to stop the persistent voice that wanted to be heard.

“Hn,” Sasuke replied, unable to say anything else. His hands were shaking, he realized dimly. Not so noticeably that he thought Naruto would see, but he could tell. 

They stood across the room from each other, waiting for something to happen.

“When will you go?” Sasuke said at last, when he finally had control over his voice.

“Um…tomorrow morning,” Naruto said uncertainly, wondering why Sasuke wasn’t _doing_ anything. He shifted his weight uncomfortably. “The meetings wrap up today, and the delegation is leaving first thing tomorrow, so I would…just go with them, I guess.”

Sasuke nodded once, jerkily. He just had one more day…

Naruto waited a bit longer, but Sasuke continued to just look at him. It was making him feel…guilty. And he still wasn’t _doing_ anything! Why wasn’t Sasuke – why wasn’t he reacting? 

“So…um…I guess I have to go tell Shin… And make the final arrangements…and stuff.” 

Sasuke didn’t respond, just stood there, pale and beautiful.

“O-okay, well, ah…I’ll be back then…” Naruto slid back outside, grateful that he hadn’t even bothered to take off his shoes when he’d entered. He closed the door behind him and stared at it for a second. 

In all the scenarios that had played in his head, _that_ had not been one of them. Sasuke hadn’t really said nor done _anything_. He’d just stood there. It made him slightly nervous, because he was still expecting something to happen. Sasuke wasn’t just going to let him go. 

He gave his body a shake, trying to get rid of his weird thoughts. He would warn Shin and Tsunade nonetheless. It was one thing to attack him, but if Sasuke got it in his head to attack the Ame delegation, that would be disastrous.

\-------------

_Hours later_

Naruto sat on the head of Yondaime, looking out over the village. It would be the last time he ever got to do this.

The day had passed in such a blur. Apparently, Shin had already laid out the groundwork for his release with Tsunade, certain that Naruto would accept. And why wouldn't he be? 

_Shin held him tightly, murmuring into his hair, “I’m so glad, Naruto. I knew you would make the right decision.”_

_Naruto hugged him back, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the contact. But that was to be expected, right? It had been almost a year since they’d been together, so of course he’d feel awkward. “Thank you, Shin.” It was just that Shin was…too tall…or something._

_Shin finally pulled away, slinging his arm around Naruto’s shoulders. “I’ve already spoken to Tsunade about this, Kio-Naruto.” At the look Naruto gave him, he grinned. “Aw, don’t look at me like that, Naruto. I didn’t tell her you accepted or anything, but I wanted you to come back with me, and the only way that was going to happen was if we started the negotiations right away. Don’t be mad at me. Can I help it that I hoped you would agree?”_

_“Of course not,” Naruto said, sighing and blowing out a long stream of air. It really shouldn’t bother him; it sounded like something he would do, actually. But…_

Naruto rolled his shoulders, trying to get rid of the itchy feeling. Something was wrong. Nothing felt right. Everything was just a little off, and he’d been feeling that way ever since he’d told Sasuke he was leaving. 

He’d been the leader of Hidden Rain for months, but why did it seem wrong to go back? 

He didn’t flinch when he heard someone behind him.

“Yo, Sakura,” he said without turning his head. 

She settled down next to him quietly, their sides touching. 

“Tsunade told me the news,” she said finally. Tsunade had decided it would be better to tell only his closest friends of his departure until after he was gone. She didn’t want any trouble when they left. 

Unfortunately, many of them were out on missions. The only ones in the village were Neji, Sakura and Iruka. Neji, as his Anbu shadow, already knew, and he’d gone by Iruka’s to tell him personally. Sakura had been busy in the hospital, so Tsunade had promised to tell her as soon as she was free.

He purposefully tried to avoid remembering their goodbyes. His eyes still felt puffy. The last time he'd left, he'd gone without talking to anyone. But this time, remembering what everyone had said and seeing the expressions on Iruka's, Neji's, Tsunade's, and now Sakura's faces...

“Yeah, she said she would,” he replied softly. 

“Why?” she burst out, turning to him. “Why are you going back to Ame?”

“Sakura,” he said guiltily. “Come on—” He tried to put his arm around her shoulders, but she shrugged him off.

“No!” she said, getting up and starting to pace. “I can’t believe you even considered that guy’s offer! You’re finally back in Konoha, where you belong, and—”

“But I don’t!” he yelled, getting up as well. “Everything’s the same, but it’s – it’s still all wrong.”

“How can you say that?” she said, her eyes stricken. “The past few months, you’ve been happy—”

“ _Happy_?" he said incredulously, his confusion and frustration bubbling over. "Happy? I’m walking around in chains! I’m constantly followed, and even after all this time, some of the villagers still hate me! I was attacked today! I live with my ex-lover who still fucks around with my mind on a daily basis! I won't be able to move around without Anbu dogging me for four more years! I will never be Hokage and will have to watch as someone else takes my place! How is any of that supposed to make me happy?”

“What?” Sakura asked, pulling back. "Sasuke does what?"

Naruto blinked, realizing what he’d said. “I – I didn’t mean – that. It’s not – Sasuke’s not—”

“This is all because of Sasuke, isn’t it?” she whispered, her eyes alight with insight.

“No! No, it has nothing to do with the teme. I just—”

"You're not doing this because you want to," Sakura said slowly. "You're doing this in order to run from Sasuke."

He stumbled back from her. "Wh-what the hell are you talking about Sakura?"

“Even after all this time, it’s still all about him.”

He scoffed. “You’re being ridiculous—”

"I never thought you were a coward, Naruto, but—"

" _What_?"

"You're afraid! You’re scared to trust that Sasuke loves you."

He gaped at her, his mouth opening and closing.

"But he does. He loves you so much. Do you _know_ what this is going to do to him?" she asked, tears starting to drip from her eyes.

"He – he – nothing, he'll get over it. He—" Naruto stuttered. _I don’t know._ He remembered the lost quality of Sasuke’s voice when he’d said those words, and he faltered.

"Don't you understand what you're _doing_ to him?"

"What are you talking about?" _I don’t know._ He flinched as the words echoed in his head. Why had Sasuke said that?

"You're hurting him! Every day, every time you back away from him, it kills him—"

"Please," he said, the sarcasm heavy in his voice as anger started to overtake him. He shoved the words away. Why was she arguing for Sasuke? How could she possibly take his side? "Aren't you being a little overdramatic—"

“Do you hate him so much?” she whispered softly, stopping him dead.

“ _Hate_ him? _Hate_ him?” Naruto’s voice rose, and his features twisted in painful hilarity. “I have _never_ been able to hate Sasuke.” He laughed harshly, a sharp bark of laughter, his fists clenched. The sound echoed in the air and almost masked what he said next. “No matter how much I wanted to,” he whispered, running a trembling hand over his eyes.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Then, if you don’t hate him—”

“It doesn’t matter how I feel!” he cut her off quickly, fearing what else she would say. 

Both their eyes widened as what he’d just implied.

“Wait,” he stammered. “I didn’t – it doesn’t mean – I don’t—”

“But if you feel that way—” she started.

“I don’t! There’s nothing—”

“Why won’t you just accept his feelings—”

“He doesn’t love me!” Naruto shouted, scrambling up and glaring down at her, his chest heaving.

“Naruto,” she began, startled by his reaction.

“Let it go, Sakura!”

“Oh, Naruto…” Her voice quavered. “You honestly don't believe he loves you, do you?”

“Sakura—” 

“You don't believe anyone could love you.” The words were heavy with tears.

“That’s not – that’s not true, Sakura,” he said, stumbling back a step. “I – I – what are you saying – I – that’s not—”

She covered her face with her hands and wept.

“Sakura, no, I – Sakura, don’t cry,” he rasped helplessly, getting back down onto his knees and holding her.

“Don't go,” she cried, her voice muffled in her hands. “Stay here, Naruto. Please. Stay with us.”

Naruto nearly reeled back as she echoed Sasuke’s words. His breath caught in his throat, and he ran shaky hands down her arms.

“I can’t,” he groaned. “I can’t.”

“Sasuke will—”

“It doesn’t matter what he will do!” _I don’t know._ The words mocked him.

Her sobs faded gradually, and she finally lowered her hands and let him draw her face into his chest. 

Her voice was eerily clear and still when she asked, “When are you going to stop punishing him, Naruto?”

He fell back as if she’d punched him.

“ _What_?”

She looked at him squarely, her eyes shimmering

"You act the same with everyone else as you did before you left. Everyone except Sasuke. I thought you just needed more time, that he just needed to prove himself to you a little bit more."

"Sakura—" Why was she saying this to him?

"I know he did horrible things to you, but I thought…given enough time…” She took a deep breath. “You’ve always forgiven people easily, even when they hurt you over and over again. The villagers, Sasuke, Gaara…me… It’s one of the things,” her voice hitched, “that makes you so special. But not this time.” Tears began to fall from her eyes, faster and faster.

"Sakura, I—"

“It's been nine months since you came back, and you still act basically the same way towards him as you did eight months ago!" 

"Sakura, stop—" He didn’t want to hear this!

"Why was it easier to forgive him for running his hand through your chest than it is to forgive him for what he did to you back then?"

"What are you talking about? I've already for—"

"No, you haven't! You haven't!" She was sobbing again, clutching his shirt in her hands and jerking it in time to her cries. He wrapped his arms around her awkwardly, his anger ebbing. "You're not _doing_ anything to him to get revenge. You gave him exactly what he said he wanted: you gave up on him. And now you won't take him back." She cried in his arms, and his tears fell into her hair.

"Sakura," he said gently after a long while, "I'm not doing this to hurt Sasuke, I swear. I'm not. This isn't about him. This is the best thing for me. Don't cry. Come on, there's no reason to cry. It's not like I won't visit or something." _One day._ "And you can come to Ame, too. Don't cry, Sakura-chan."

"It's not the same," she said tremulously, hiccupping as she tried to regain her composure. "Konoha's not the same without you."

The problem was that he wasn’t the same either.

He forced out a chuckle. “Yeah, it’s probably quiet and peaceful for a change.”

“Please don’t joke about this,” she whispered, her voice old and shattered. “Don’t go, Naruto. You won’t be happy there. They don’t love you as much as we do. Don’t go.”

He gulped, trying to force down the lump in his throat. “I’m sorry,” he said achingly.

They sat huddled in silence together for a long time.

“You have every reason to hate him—” He pulled back, looking at her incredulously.

“Sakura, not this again.”

“Every reason. But he’s changed,” she begged. “And he loves you so much—”

“Why won’t you let it go?” he asked, nearly shaking her in his frustration.

“Because no one else matters as much as Sasuke! Whether you love him or you hate him, he’s always been the most important to you! And if you had truly forgiven him, then you would stay! Is it so hard to understand that we don’t want you to go? Naruto—”

“I can’t!” he yelled, slashing his hand through the air to stop her from saying anything more. “I can’t!”

She stared at him, her hand covering her mouth. And then she was gone.

\----------------

Naruto trudged back towards the Uchiha estate, his mouth a grim line. He had known that leaving would not be an easy thing to do, but he hadn’t realized how hard it would really be.

He did not miss the irony that the two people who had driven him away the first time were the two that were fighting the hardest to keep him now. Why couldn’t they just be happy for him? Why was leaving this time almost as hard as the first time?

 _I don’t know._ The words haunted him still.

He huffed out a breath. Maybe even harder.

Naruto jumped at the sudden _poof_.

“Fuck! Kakashi! Don’t _do_ that!” He put a hand over his heart to still the rapid beating.

“Yo, Naruto,” Kakashi said imperturbably, book in hand as he leaned against the wall of a house to Naruto’s right.

Naruto scowled at him, happy to be diverted from his previous thoughts. “I thought you were going to be on a mission ‘til next week.”

He shrugged. “It was easier than expected.”

“Yeah, well…” Naruto didn’t know what to say. Did Kakashi know that he was leaving? Had Tsunade already told him? Or should he tell him now? 

“Iruka told me you were leaving.” Ah, well, that answered that question.

“Yeah,” he said, uncomfortably. He looked at the lightening sky. “In about…two hours.”

“Hmm…” Kakashi murmured. 

Naruto didn’t know why he felt he had to explain himself in the face of that sound, but he did. “It’s for the best. Rain needs me, and the people there have been incredible.” Even he realized how weak that sounded.

“I mean, they took me in, and if I go, I won’t have to wear the chakra inhibitors anymore. I can’t be Ame’s leader anymore, but that’s not…” He felt like a genin again, nervous and unprepared. “Shin went to a lot of effort to find a way to get me back, and I… Shin wants to marry me,” he blurted out. His eyes widened in surprise at his own words. 

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at him over the top of his book. “Ahhh…and that makes you happy?”

“What?” He blinked. “Well – yeah – of course, I mean, why wouldn’t it?”

“I don’t know. Why wouldn’t it?” Kakashi tilted his head to the side, his hair flopping over gently.

Naruto scowled. “Of course it makes me happy!”

His old teacher shut his book with a loud snap. “Good, then. That’s all we’ve ever wanted for you, Naruto, is for you to be happy.”

He almost felt a sense of letdown. That was it? Kakashi wasn’t going to say anything else? He wasn’t going to try to convince him to stay? All that crap nearly a year ago in Tsunade’s office, and now…nothing?

He felt cheated.

“Well…fine. Yeah. Yeah! I’m very happy.”

“Good.”

“Good!”

Naruto stared belligerently at him, his chin raised.

“Iruka will miss you, though.” 

Naruto deflated. “I – I’ll miss him, too.”

“And the rest of Rookie Nine will be upset they didn’t get a chance to tell you goodbye, but I’m sure you know what’s best.”

“It’s not – I wanted to say goodbye, but everyone’s out of the village—”

Kakashi nodded thoughtfully. “It must be important for you to rush back to Ame, however.”

“I – it’s just—”

“Nevertheless, once they hear that you are finally truly happy once again, I’m sure it will set their minds to rest.”

“Well, I—”

“Everyone’s been worried about you, so even though you’re gone, it will cheer them up to know you’ve finally gotten what you wanted.”

“I—”

Kakashi clapped him on the shoulder. “I’m glad,” he said.

“Thank you,” Naruto said weakly. What else could he say?

“I need to get cleaned up,” Kakashi said, gesturing to his stained clothes. “But I will be sure to see you off when you leave.” His visible eye crinkled. “See you soon!”

Naruto stood alone in the street. Unlike Sakura, Kakashi hadn’t said a word about Sasuke, which almost made him think of Sasuke even more, if that were possible. That was because it wasn’t about Sasuke…or at least, it shouldn’t be. 

_You're not doing this because you want to. You're doing this in order to run from Sasuke._

It wasn’t true. It wasn’t. 

In Ame, he would have power and prestige. He would have a spouse who loved him. He would be free.

In Konoha, he would have his most precious people around him. But he would never be Hokage, and the likelihood of ever finding someone to love him was slim with the nine-tailed beast inside of him. And no matter what Sakura had said, he _did_ want to be loved.

That made him think of Shin. Was it fair to him, knowing that he didn’t love him back? Could he come to love him?

He honestly didn’t know. Was there room in his heart for someone other than Sasuke?

His heart ached at the thought.

Still…freedom. And in Ame, no one feared him because of the demon housed inside of him. 

The man earlier in the night proved that that was not the case in Konoha.

He came to the same conclusion he’d reached earlier that night. He should go to Ame.

He was happy…wasn’t he?

\-----------------

Sasuke stood at the gate of Konoha, watching as Naruto made his final goodbyes. He stood apart from the rest, unable to bear the looks they were throwing his way, however unobtrusive they tried to make them. 

Naruto had walked inside their – his home an hour earlier and finished gathering his things. The furniture, obviously, was staying, but he was taking most of his clothes and the photographs and trinkets that were most important to him. 

Sasuke had followed behind him, a silent shadow, as he cleared the traces of his life out of the house. They had arrived at the gate finally ten minutes ago.

He avoided looking at the other country’s delegation. It was almost an uncontrollable, burning desire inside of him to lash out at the Rain ninja who was taking his Naruto from him. He would not – he would _not_ break down in front of them though. 

So he kept his eyes turned away and drank in the sight of Naruto for as long as he could.

And then at last, Naruto was walking towards him.

Sasuke felt nauseous.

“Naruto,” he said before the other man could open his mouth. “Don’t go.” He gripped Naruto’s upper arm tightly to forestall the objection. 

“Don’t leave Konoha because of me,” he said. “Not again. This has always been your home. Much more than mine. I should be the one to leave. I’ll—” 

Then Naruto was holding him, for the first time of his own free will. It made Sasuke stop talking, and he shuddered, a tear falling unheeded down his cheek.

“Goodbye, Sasuke.” The faintest of whispers. A brush against his cheek.

And then he was gone.

A minute or an hour later, he heard the soft tread of footsteps behind him.

“Sasuke,” Sakura murmured, placing her hand on his shoulder, her voice filled with sorrow. “Are you—”

“Not now,” he said quietly. “Not yet. Please, just – just leave me alone.”

Her hand finally withdrew, and he was grateful for its absence. He didn’t want anyone to touch him at the moment and feel his trembling.

He stood there long after everyone else had gone and long after Naruto had faded from the horizon. And if he wept, no one was there to see.


	14. Chapter 14

Naruto ran alongside Shin, the Rain leader’s guards running in a loose formation protectively on all four sides. The negotiations allowing him to leave Konoha had taken quite a while, although Shin had been too prepared on the village’s own laws for the Council to be able to stop him. They had, however, in a last fit of annoyance, refused to let the chakra inhibitors come off until he reached the edge of Fire Country. 

It was a small gesture of pettiness, but Naruto had readily agreed, eager to stop the verbal fighting. What did it matter if the chains came off now or in a few hours? It wasn’t like he had left Konoha in shame. His friends had come to see him off, and there hadn’t been anyone like the man from the previous night to gloat at his leaving.

It also allowed him to have Kakashi along for the journey to the border. He glanced over to the other man who was running while reading his latest book, avoiding anything in his path that might cause him to trip with unerring ease. Naruto shook his head in amazement. Once they reached the border, Kakashi would take off the manacles and then head back.

It was actually comforting having his old teacher along for the way.

Of course, not being able to draw on his chakra made the pace of the journey much slower than it would’ve been otherwise, but he didn’t regret it. This would be the last time in quite a while that he’d be able to run through Fire Country, so why not soak it in as much as possible?

He looked up as he heard a crash of thunder in the distance. The mass of clouds obscuring the sun were getting darker and darker, and everyone sped up in an effort to cover more ground before having to find shelter. 

He licked his lips as a small drop of rain fell on them. Even though he knew better, he thought it tasted salty.

Sasuke had been crying when he left. He had tasted the tear as he’d brushed his lips over his cheek. 

…Sasuke had been crying.

He flinched as another drop of cold rain fell onto the top of his head, momentarily distracting him from his thoughts. The group had been running for a couple of hours, ground-eating strides that any ninja could maintain for long periods of time, although, normally, a shinobi would draw on his chakra to keep him going. While Naruto had a lot of stamina, he couldn’t deny he was starting to get a little tired.

It didn’t help that no one was talking. Ninja were supposed to be silent killers, so most of them got in the habit of not speaking as they traveled unless they were in areas they’d deemed safe, and even then, they tended to speak in hushed tones. Other than the sounds of nature, there was nothing to focus on except for the rhythmic thumps of his soft breathing and his own thoughts. That and the occasional turn of the page from Kakashi’s book.

As a genin, when he’d gone on missions with Team 7, he’d always found a way to pass the time by yelling out comments to Sasuke, trying to get him to talk or at least shout at him to be quiet. It had always been a victory for him to get Sasuke to react in some way.

_Sigh._

_Sasuke…_

All morning, he’d been tense, waiting for Sasuke to make his move, to do something, to prevent his leaving. But Sasuke hadn’t done… _anything_. Why hadn’t he done something?

Why had Sasuke let him leave?

And then…and then for him to say those things, to tell Naruto to stay in Konoha and offer to leave instead…

It confused him.

A turn of the page brought his attention back to Kakashi. Kakashi who was acting as if this was just another mission and didn’t seem to care that Naruto had no intention of heading back to Konoha. 

Which was what he wanted, of course.

_That’s all we’ve ever wanted for you, Naruto, is for you to be happy._

Such a simple, stupid phrase. 

So why did he keep dwelling on it?

He blinked when another drop of rain fell on his face. Then another…and another. Suddenly, the occasional drop became more and more frequent. 

He noted with wry amusement that Kakashi had safely tucked away his novel.

Kakashi moved over to Shin, pointing into the forest, and the group changed direction, heading for a small shelter where they would be mostly protected from the rain. It was an area where the trees were particularly close together, the branches entwining in the air, so they acted as a barrier to the falling precipitation. The nature of the arrangement made it impossible to stay all together, so the eight people ended up going off in ones or twos. 

After briefly talking his guard, Shin came to sit down next to Naruto who had avoided settling down next to his old sensei when the other man had whipped out his precious novel once again.

Pervert.

"Hey," Shin murmured, his body a warm line against his side. "How are you doing?"

Naruto grinned into hazel eyes, hiding his restlessness. "Good," he said. "A little tired," he admitted, but then he puffed out his chest. "But it's nothing my super-awesome self can't handle."

Shin nodded solemnly. "I never doubted it,” he said.

“Damn right,” Naruto said.

They both smiled, and Naruto really relaxed for the first time that day. This…he knew this. He was comfortable with this. He could live with this.

Shin sighed and laid his head back against the tree, a strand of his hair flying gently in the breeze and landing on Naruto’s face. He turned his head in inquiry when Naruto started to sputter, batting at the hair, and he chuckled, leaning over and brushing the hair away with his fingers.

Naruto’s breath got slightly faster as the gesture turned into a caress, Shin’s warm hand stroking his cheek.

But this… He fought against the urge to tense. He didn’t know if he was ready for this. 

“Naruto,” Shin said, his eyes soft. “Naruto…”

It was a familiar taste. They’d been lovers too long for it not to be. 

After a long moment, he finally let himself relax into the kiss. It would just take time, he told himself. Time to get used to it again. The fact that it was so strange now didn’t mean anything.

Sasuke’s kiss was familiar, a traitorous voice whispered. Sasuke’s kiss had always been—

He flinched, just the tiniest bit, but it made Shin pull back. 

“Oh, ah…” Naruto blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, raindrop,” he said, as if to explain his action.

The other man nodded, and Naruto, maybe because he was so close, or maybe because he was already feeling introspective, noticed the flash of emotion in Shin’s eyes and was frozen by what he saw. Uncertainty…hope…love… They were gone an instant later, replaced by that careful, constant amusement Shin always showed, but Naruto didn’t doubt what he had seen.

Had – had they always been there? Had he just never bothered to notice before? Had Shin always looked at him that way?

Masks… 

_I know all about your masks, Dobe. Underneath all your smiles and stupid jokes, you’ve always hidden your real feelings. You may have changed the mask you wear, but you’re still the same inside._

Why had he never stopped to think that he wasn’t the only one wearing masks?

Sasuke knew, Shin knew, but he—when was the last time he’d thought to look underneath the underneath? Did he even know the real Shin? 

What kind of friend was he?

_I gave you as much space as I could, watched you take other lovers, all in the hopes that you would eventually heal and recognize my feelings for you. It didn’t matter. I would’ve shared you with my sister, with that Uchiha, with anyone if it meant that you would stay with me…But now, I’ve found a way to have you all to myself…Marry me. I promise you I will make you happy._

He hadn’t even suspected that Shin felt that way about him. Did he – and Shin had – why hadn’t he— Had he ever really tried to understand?

What was he doing? 

That look in Shin’s eyes… Sasuke had that look. 

Every time Sasuke looked at him, he had that look.

And Shin… Shin had said he loved him.

_What am I doing?_

Was he really going to use Shin in order to run away from Konoha…and Sasuke?

What was wrong with him? What had he become? 

Was he so afraid of being hurt that he would let others take his pain?

Shin _loved_ him.

But he didn’t love Shin.

_Am I really going to let Shin sacrifice himself for me?_

Marriage without love was—it had been one thing when Shin's sister hadn't loved him, and he hadn't loved her. They'd both planned to make the best of the situation in order to—but to get married to someone who loved him without ever knowing if he could love him back—

There was nothing worse than being unloved. He knew that from personal experience.

Disturbed by the long silence and the strange look in his eyes, Shin said, “Naruto? Are you alright?”

Naruto blinked at the obvious concern.

It would be so easy if he loved Shin. He wouldn’t have to run anymore. He wouldn’t be alone anymore. Would it really be such a difficult thing to fall in love with him?

He looked into puzzled hazel eyes, searching for an answer. If only he’d met Shin a long time ago, before all of this had happened – before he’d ever even become a genin, before he’d ever met the rest of Team 7 – then maybe things could be different.

Because he knew. 

He didn't love Shin, would never fall in love with him. So what was he doing here? He cared for him a great deal, would always care, but love… No, he didn’t love Shin. He wasn’t Sa—

He swayed, shocked by the thought that somehow crept into his subconscious.

He loved—

His heart pounded, a feeling almost like nausea creeping up on him.

He loved Sasuke.

The wind chose that moment to gust particularly violently, shaking the tree limbs above his head, and the water that had pooled in a small dip created by the interlocking leaves and branches fell on his head.

"Fuck!" he cried, standing up, sputtering.

After a minute of stunned silence, Shin began to snigger, even while trying to restrain himself. Naruto glared at a particularly loud snort.

“How did that miss you?” he yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the Rain ninja who was less than a foot away from him, as if suspecting Shin of performing some jutsu to keep himself safe from the water.

“Just lucky, I guess,” Shin said, smiling. “Here, let me,” he started, reaching for his pack, but Naruto shook his head. 

“Nah, I’ve got stuff in my bag. Besides, it looks like Kyousuke wants you,” he said, gesturing to one of the guards who had started approaching, grateful for the interruption.

“Ah, yes,” Shin said, grinning apologetically at he got up. “I’ll be right back.”

Naruto watched him go, absently wiping his face with his hand. He was – he needed to put his thoughts together. This wasn’t – this wasn’t right.

He opened his pack, intent on pulling out an extra shirt. Luckily, his pants were still mostly dry. He paused though when he saw an unfamiliar piece of cloth.

He pulled out a silk-wrapped object, his brows furrowed. He hadn’t packed this. He hefted it. It was surprisingly heavy for such a relatively small object.

He ran a finger over the cloth and noticed the silk was extremely high-quality, probably worth more than his whole wardrobe combined. And it was blue – the same blue as his eyes. 

At first glance, the silk seemed plain except for its bright color, but on closer inspection, Naruto saw the delicate stitching, intricate swirls and whorls, covering the fabric. It really was beautiful.

The only thing that marred the overall effect was the occasional threadbare patch, as if it had been handled too many times.

His heart was pounding. He didn’t even know why. All he knew was that Sasuke must have been the one to put it inside his bag, but for what purpose?

He turned it over and unwrapped the cloth, folding the edges away carefully.

His mouth went dry at what was inside. 

\-------

"Sasuke! You have to go get him back! He's going to get married!”

Sasuke stared up at Sakura with painfully dry eyes before lowering them to his hands. “I know,” he said, taking a sip of sake from his cup. 

On the way home from the main gate, he’d stopped by a liquor store and bought up all the sake he could afford with the money in his wallet. It had been a lot of sake. He hadn’t even realized Sakura had followed him until he was opening the first bottle, her sound of displeasure finally pulling him out of the daze he’d been in. 

Not that he’d let her presence stop him from his goal. For a moment, he idly wondered what bottle he was on but then dismissed the thought. What did it matter?

“That’s all you have to say?” she hissed when another minute went by in silence.

Sasuke wished she would leave him alone. It had been hours since the Rain ninja had gone. _He’s probably a third of the way to the border now…_ His heart clenched at the thought, and he took another, deeper drink, emptying the cup.

_One more down…_

His hands were unforgivably steady when he poured himself another drink.

He shrugged and stared into the clear liquid in his cup. When would Sakura leave? He didn’t want her there anymore. She’d been saying the same thing over and over again for the past few hours. Nothing had changed, and it was beginning to get on his nerves.

“Aren't you going to— You’re just going to sit there and get drunk while Naruto goes to Ame?”

“What else would you have me to do?” he said, his voice quiet and calm. He really needed to close the windows or something. He was so cold. He barely contained a shiver. He considered getting up to get a blanket or something but discarded the idea. It was too much effort.

He took another drink.

“Go after him!” she commanded. She continued to pace in front of him, her hands waving in the air. “It’s all – it’s a mistake! Naruto didn’t – he wouldn’t—”

“He did.” Sasuke wished she would stop saying his name. It hurt to hear his name.

Silence.

He tried to pour another glass of sake and stared dully when he realized the bottle was empty. He reached for another bottle, but Sakura snatched it, throwing it against the wall.

He looked at her sluggishly. 

“Listen to me,” she hissed, her eyes blazing with fury. “Naruto spent _years_ chasing after you, getting rejected over and over again. You hurt him, fought him, nearly _killed_ him, but he still kept going after you. You owe it to him—”

Something in him broke.

“To do what?” he raged, standing up and making her step away in surprise. He ignored the way the room seemed to waver around him. 

Why did she keep bothering him? Why wouldn’t she leave him alone?

“I chased after him! I’ve spent the past six years of my life trying to find him! I dragged him back to Konoha! I’ve done everything I could do to apologize to him except get down on my knees and beg him to stay, and for what? For _what_?” He wasn’t even aware that he was stalking forward unsteadily.

“The first chance he gets to leave me, he does! With that – that fucking _boyfriend_ of his back in Rain! He doesn’t give a shit about me anymore! So fuck him! I don’t need him! Fuck him!”

Distantly, he was aware that he was cursing much more than usual for him and that he was looming over Sakura, but he couldn’t seem to control himself. It was…really an odd feeling, he decided, detached from it all.

“Oh, Sasuke,” she said tremulously, her eyes shining, one hand raised to her lips. Her voice seemed so quiet after his shouting. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Sasuke.” 

Her other hand came up, and he flinched in surprise when she touched his cheek. Why – why was she—?

She pulled her hand back, closing it into a fist, but not before he saw the wetness on her fingers. He took a stumbling step backwards. 

He reached up himself and felt his face. He was – crying? Why was he crying? 

When had he started crying?

He turned, forcing himself back to the couch, uncaring if there were any more tears on his face. He was so tired. Yelling at her had sapped all of his energy. He just wanted to sleep. 

“Go away, Sakura,” he said leadenly. “It was his choice. What else was I supposed to do? I tried everything I could think of to get him to stay.”

He didn’t even care that she was watching him, her eyes filled with that horrible pity. He faced the back of the couch and curled up into a ball, closing his eyes.

He hoped that when he woke up, he would still be drunk. Maybe it would keep the gnawing, empty feeling at bay a little longer. He didn’t know what he would do when he actually had to face it again. 

“What else could I do?” he whispered to himself.

He was distantly aware of when she finally started to move around. At one point, she covered him with a blanket, and he was grateful for the thoughtfulness, although he still couldn’t seem to get warm. He snuggled into it though, feeling somehow comforted by the smell. He didn’t know why. 

He also heard the clink of glass and vaguely realized that she was cleaning up the sake bottle. Not that it mattered.

He drifted in and out of consciousness, trying to escape from the knowledge of what awaited him when he finally became aware. But his dreams were filled with an all-too familiar face, and he didn’t know if it were better or worse to be awake or asleep.

He was finally pulled completely awake by her insistent shaking as she repeatedly called his name.

“Sasuke, Sasuke? Good,” she sighed, standing up straight as he finally peered blearily over his shoulder at her. “I made some lunch. It’s on the table. I have to get home to Lee now, but I’ll check up on you later, alright? Try – try to eat, and we’ll think of something the next time I’m here, okay?” 

It took him a moment to process her words. Why was she being so persistent? Didn’t she realize there was nothing left to do? He was gone. 

He turned back around and closed his eyes once more. 

He was gone.

She sighed, a small trembling sound.

“You know,” she said at last, “You’re not the only one who’ll miss him. Even if you want to give up, it doesn't mean the rest of us will."

The rest of whom? His other friends? They had let him leave as well. There was nothing anyone could do. 

He didn’t want to be there anymore.

He didn’t know how long he slept, but it was getting dark outside by the time he woke up again. Unfortunately, the pleasant numbness he’d been feeling had finally started to fade away. 

He barely made it in time to the bathroom. He watched as the remnants of his last meal disappeared in a swirl of water. Minutes later, he realized he was still staring. 

Giving into the pressure in his bladder, he used the bathroom and washed his hands. The normalcy of the act soothed him. He even walked by the table where Sakura’s plate of noodles sat congealed, but he had no appetite for food. He walked outside to the back courtyard.

He had liked it out here, the privacy, the open air. He had always been training out here.

Sasuke looked at a training dummy, noticing the various marks on its wooden frame. Hesitantly, he hit it with his open palm, a direct strike to where the heart would be. It made an almost gentle _thap_ sound. 

If he hadn’t managed to push his arm to the side slightly, he would’ve put his arm through his heart at the Valley of the End. He would be dead now. Sasuke would be dead now, because he wouldn’t have been around to kill Itachi.

He struck the dummy again, this time with a closed fist. The solid _thock_ was louder this time.

If he’d been dead, then Sasuke would never have been able to hurt him like he did by betraying him with Sakura.

_Thock. Thock._

Of course, Sasuke would’ve killed him with his own two hands. The blows faltered for a second before continuing even faster than before.

_Thock. Thock. THOCK._

Was it any wonder that he had never trusted him again? After everything Sasuke had done, how could he expect Nar— How could he expect him to forgive him?

_THOCK. THOCK. THOCK._

Of course he would leave Konoha at the first opportunity. Why would he want to stay? To be with Sasuke?

He wasn’t aware of the sob that came from his throat.

Even _he_ wasn’t that much of a fool. 

_Goodbye, Sasuke._

_THOCK. THOCK. THOCK. THOCK. THOCK. THOCK! THOCK! THOCK! THOCK!_

He didn’t know when he fell into the desperate rhythm of a blade stabbing repeatedly into an already dead body. Or when he started screaming. Or when blood started running down his hands. Or when he started waiting to be saved.

Because he had always there for him when he most needed him. When he’d been at his lowest, when he’d been alone, when Orochimaru had him, when he’d almost died…Naruto had always been there.

So one more time. He needed him so much. Couldn’t Naruto be there one more time? Just once more…

All he knew was that when someone finally pulled him away from the ruined wreck of wood in front of him, shouting his name, he so desperately wanted it to be Naruto, would’ve done anything for it to be Naruto, would’ve sold his soul, given his life, his name, all his jutsu, the Sharingan, anything for it to be Naruto.

And it was.

\-------

When Sasuke came to, once again lying on the couch, it was Sakura’s face he saw. He sat up abruptly, ignoring the raw agony in his hands and arms, nearly bowling her over in order to look around.

But Naruto wasn’t there.

He fell back heavily and covered his face with his mangled hands. For just a second, he could’ve sworn he had seen Naruto’s face before blackness had swallowed him. For one heart-rending, wonderful second. But it was just a dream, a stupid dream. Of course Naruto wasn’t there.

He laughed hollowly, the pain in his chest exploding.

Of course he wasn’t.

“Sasuke?” Sakura asked shakily. “What – what happened? Your hands – oh, Sasuke, your _hands_ —”

He didn’t answer. To lose him _again_ …even if only in his mind… He couldn’t answer.

“What were you _doing_?”

He stared at the ceiling as she tenderly held one hand, a green light shining in the room.

“There’s so much damage,” she said unsteadily. “I can fix most of it, but you – you have to be extremely careful with them for weeks if you want them to heal properly.”

She held the other hand.

He had to ask. Just to dig the knife in a little deeper.

“You didn’t – you didn’t see – Naruto – wasn’t here. Was he?”

She gasped at the name. “Naruto? Oh, oh no. No, Sasuke,” she said, tears welling. “He’s not – not here.”

He nodded once just to show he heard. 

“But – but once you get better, we – we can—”

“I thought—” His voice cracked. “I don’t know why, but I thought he came back.”

“Sasuke,” she said hoarsely.

“I want him back,” he said, his voice raw and pleading, his eyes still trained on the ceiling. The ache in his chest was too intense for tears. It was like he was suffocating, the pressure was so great. “Please, Sakura, I—“

The sound of the door closing made both of them turn their heads, shocked that anyone would be able to sneak up on them and, even worse, would dare to enter. 

But they were speechless in the face of the person who stood in front of them.

“I’m home,” Naruto said simply. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”


	15. Chapter 15

Naruto stared at the silk in his hands. He gently lifted up the object that had been uncovered.

Was it really—?

But there was no mistaking the distinctive gash across the Leaf symbol. 

It was his hitai-ate.

How had Sasuke found it? _Why_ had Sasuke found it?

And why had he given it back now?

His hands were trembling as he traced the groove across the front his Rasengan had created so long ago.

It had been Sasuke’s hitai-ate before it was his. He’d kept it after Sasuke had gone off to Orochimaru, promising himself that he’d give it back to Sasuke one day and that he’d wear it, even if he had to force the teme to put it back on. 

But when he’d finally offered it back to Sasuke after he’d finally started talking to him once again, Sasuke had turned his back on it and walked away. He always had the same reaction every time Naruto tried to give it back to him. And no matter what Naruto would say or do, Sasuke would never take it back.

After everything that had happened with Itachi, he hadn’t felt comfortable pressing his luck, so he’d taken to wearing it himself, a silent but obvious reminder to Sasuke. He had put away his own hitai-ate that Iruka had given him, waiting for the day that Sasuke would finally take his own back. He had even taken it out on occasion in the past nine months, just to look at it, but with his nebulous status, he hadn’t been allowed to wear Konoha’s symbol.

And truthfully, he hadn’t been sure he’d wanted to.

But holding the cool metal in his hand, running his finger over each mark and divot he’d earned in Konoha’s defense, it felt – it felt – it felt so _right_.

How could Sasuke have known how much this meant to him?

The last time he’d seen it had been when he’d left it in a tree, right before he’d left Konoha for what he’d thought would be the final time. He’d had half-formed ideas of trying to find it once the chakra binds came off, but he’d known it would likely be a futile effort. 

Even assuming he could remember the general location he’d been in, the chances of finding the exact tree, the exact branch – assuming the tree hadn’t fallen over or a curious bird hadn’t seen and been attracted to the reflective metal, or any number of possible scenarios where the hitai-ate had been lost – were slim to none. 

But…but it was once again in his hands.

His vision blurred, and a drop of water fell on the smoothly polished surface. 

Sasuke…

That Sasuke had cared enough to find this, to keep it, to take care of it and finally, to give it back to him…the level of _understanding_ stole his breath away.

He scrambled to his feet. 

He had to see him. He had to talk to him. 

“Naruto? What – is something the matter? You haven’t changed your clothes—”

Naruto blinked at him. Shin. He had completely forgotten for a second where he was.

He knew he had some explaining to do. He knew that he couldn’t just leave to rush back to Konoha. This wasn’t just about him. There was Shin, and there were politics involved. He couldn’t be irresponsible.

But he had to see Sasuke.

He reached out and pulled the surprised man into a bear hug, holding him tightly, his voice shaky and filled with regret. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I can’t go with you. I love him. You were my best friend, Shin, but I—”

“Naruto?” Shin asked, confused. Then realization swept over him, and his voice broke, his hands clutching onto his wet shirt. “What? What are you saying? Wait, don’t—”

“I’m so sorry,” he said, burying his head in chestnut hair, tightening his arms even further, trying to express his apology, knowing it would never be enough. 

And whatever Shin heard in his voice or felt in his actions, it made him still, made him clench his hands once in the wet fabric before letting it go. He breathed in once deeply and closed his eyes. 

And then he pulled away.

“Then go,” he said, his eyes trying to show that careful, crafted amusement – trying and failing. “You’re slowing us down anyway. We can make it back to Ame much faster now. Go.”

Shin turned and started walking back to his men.

“Sh—”

“Naruto,” said Kakashi, popping up in front of him and blocking his view of the Rain leader. “Shouldn’t you be heading back now if you want to get back before it gets dark?”

Naruto stepped back as the other man crowded his space, looking up into one sympathetic but resolved eye.

“But—”

“I’ll handle things here and catch up to you.”

“But—”

Kakashi laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Not everything can be fixed right away, Naruto. You do him no favors by dragging this out.”

He caught a glimpse of chestnut hair and confused looks in his direction. "I didn't want to hurt him," he said softly. "He's done so much for me, and I care—”

"I know," his former sensei said, patting him. "I know. But he deserves more than that."

It made him flinch, but he recognized the truth in the words. He nodded jerkily.

Kakashi turned him around. "Get going. I'll catch up in a minute."

After a moment's pause, he hefted his bag and started walking. He made a silent vow to himself. This would not be the end. He would fix this somehow. He didn't know how, but he would.

By the time he was twenty feet away, he started walking faster. Ten feet later, he was jogging. Five feet later, he was running at full speed, his hitai-ate still firmly clutched in his hand.

\----------

It was actually an hour later before Kakashi caught up to him, popping up next to him with a small _poof_.

Naruto spared just enough energy to glare at him resentfully. Kakashi looked positively radiant, his eye crinkled with amusement, his breathing even and relaxed, without even a drop of sweat on him. To add insult to injury, he was completely dry. 

Asshole.

Naruto on the other hand was still soaking wet from the rain that had finally cleared up minutes before, and his breathing was coming out in slightly ragged pants. Other than the ten minute break under the trees, he'd been running constantly for the past seven hours. 

“What,” he gasped, “took you… _huff, huff_ …so long?”

“Hmmm?” Kakashi asked. “Haven’t noticed the horrible weather? After I finished wrapping things up, I waited out the storm. Terrible weather to be caught in.”

His eyes widened and then narrowed dangerously. He suddenly felt like he had plenty of energy, definitely enough to tackle his old sensei and—

“Now, now,” Kakashi grinned, as if reading his thoughts. “You don’t want to do anything reckless. You still have hours to go before we reach Konoha.”

He considered his words, running his tongue over a sharp canine.

“If course, I suppose if you collapse, I could always carry you on my back like Gai did for me back in Suna.”

Naruto paled as he remembered the extremely uncomfortable and lewd way they had looked as Gai raced off with Kakashi bouncing on his back. He shuddered. One man should never get that close to another man in public. Especially when they were instructors. And _old_.

He finally turned his head back to face the road. That image still gave him nightmares.

They ran in silence for a while, Kakashi having evidently finished his book since he kept it in his jacket instead of bringing it out to read it.

Naruto finally broke the silence, asking a question he’d been wondering about since soon after he’d lost sight of the Rain contingent.

“You were…awfully ready to step in when I told Shin I wasn’t going to go to Ame after all.”

Kakashi started, his smooth stride stuttering for just a second in surprise. “You actually noticed that?” he asked, amused. “Well, well, well. It looks like you did grow up some after all.”

Naruto scowled when he reached over to tousle his hair. It was annoying that the scarecrow was still so much taller than he.

Kakashi’s eye crinkled. “You may not be the smartest of my former students, Naruto,” he said, “but you always get to the right conclusion eventually. Why do you think I asked Tsunade-sama to let me accompany you to the border? And why else would she agree to that ridiculous provision that you stay in chakra binds until you left Fire Country? It would be a lot easier to let you back into Konoha if all of the conditions for your reinstatement as a Leaf ninja were still being met.”

As in he was always accompanied by Anbu and was never allowed to perform jutsu.

“What?” he asked, not sure if he should be angry at their assumption. “So you knew I was—”

“Hoped,” Kakashi corrected, still smiling gently. “We hoped you would stay.”

He stared for one moment before finally snorting, his shoulders relaxing. “Man, what am I going to do with you guys? I live with a bunch of know-it-alls, I swear.”

He pointed a finger at the other man. “It gets annoying, you know! I’m surrounded by a smug bunch of interfering…”

They argued companionably the rest of the way. And somehow, it was a fitting reentry to the place he called home.

\----------

Naruto’s heart beat a little faster as he neared the Uchiha district, once again, a dark shadow flitting behind him. He was so tired, but he braced himself up, determined to speak with Sasuke before allowing himself to collapse.

Walking up to the main gates of Konoha, he had stood before the guards and announced his presence, Kakashi a silent presence at his side. With nothing coercing him, with full knowledge of what awaited him and still wearing the chakra inhibitors on his wrists, he had announced, “Uzumaki Naruto, citizen of Konoha, requesting permission to enter the village.”

It wasn’t that he’d forgotten the past six years, or that he’d completely forgiven them for blackmailing him into coming back, or that he agreed with his punishment. Maybe it was some of those things, maybe it was none. But...he had never completely forgotten about Konoha either. His friends were here. More importantly he admitted to himself, Sasuke was here. And although his dream of becoming Hokage was dead, there were new dreams, other dreams that still had a hope of realization. 

And maybe, just maybe, he was finally ready to stop running.

He shook his head at that. He really hated it when everyone else was right. 

Naruto wet dry lips, his temporary amusement fading, as he hesitantly knocked on the front door. He didn’t feel he had the right to just walk in.

Tsunade had had quite a lot to say to him. 

He winced, remembering. 

He had wanted to rush back to the Uchiha district as soon as he walked through the main gates, but Kakashi had grabbed his shoulder and teleported the two of them straight to her office. For one second at their arrival, Tsunade had seemed so happy...but that might have been his imagination considering how she had started yelling at him for making her worry and creating so many problems with Ame and chasing him around the office immediately after.

It was a good thing five years as a missing nin had made his reflexes so sharp, otherwise, he didn't know what would've happened. As it was, she was going to have to do a whole bunch of redecorating before her office was usable again.

He frowned when no one answered the door and knocked again.

And Kakashi, the traitor, had smiled the whole time, stepping adroitly out of the way anytime they had gotten too close. 

That man was going to wake up one morning with dog shit in his slippers.

Naruto cracked his knuckles. 

He'd make sure of it.

All thoughts of vengeance slipped from his mind when the door continued to remain stubbornly closed. He knew that Sasuke didn't really like company, even at the best of times, but he normally answered his door. What was he doing?

He faltered when he remembered Sakura's description of Sasuke when he'd refused to come back to Konoha with him. He'd kind of thought she'd been exaggerating, but what if Sasuke was sitting inside, alone, surrounded by broken furniture. He couldn't help the niggle of worry he felt, and he tested the door, happy to find it unlocked.

He called out once, but when he got no reply, he finally entered the home. Looking around, he was relieved to see that the furniture was all in one piece. Sakura _had_ apparently over-dramatized Sasuke's reaction. It relieved him, even while slightly disappointing him.

He was too exhausted to prevent the doubts that once again began to surface in his mind. Did Sasuke _really_ love him? Could they possibly try again? Could either of them truly trust the other after everything that had happened?

Would Sasuke even care that he was back?

He tried to push the thoughts away, tried to find that optimistic streak that he'd always been famous for in the past, but too many disappointments and betrayals weighed heavily on him. 

Had he made the right decision in coming back?

He forcibly shoved that question aside. Yes. Yes, coming back to Konoha had been the right thing to do. Shin...Shin deserved more than a lover who was only with him as a last recourse. And no matter what else happened, it would be a relief to no longer hide, no longer be a missing nin. And he wanted... He sighed. He wanted to know how Sasuke really felt about him, even if it turned out that they could never go back to being lovers.

Sakura said he loved him. Hell, _Sasuke_ said he loved him. But he’d always – he’d always refused to believe, sure that it was a lie, that Sasuke was confused, that he couldn’t _really_ love him, didn’t even know if Sasuke was _capable_ of loving him.

Sometimes…he had wondered if Sasuke could ever possibly feel the same depth of emotion he himself felt. With that cold, calm exterior, those calculating eyes and his distant, superior attitude, it was hard to imagine that anything could really impact him. Vengeance, anger, yes, but something softer, deeper, something more important, well…it was hard to imagine he had ever experienced something like that.

But…Sasuke had cried. More than once. And he had seemed to be _trying_ to open up to Naruto. That – that meant something, right? He could…could believe that…couldn’t he? 

…where _was_ Sasuke?

Naruto started up the stairs, ignoring the dizziness he felt as he trudged upwards, and wondered if Sasuke were sleeping. Or maybe he had gone to Sakura’s? 

He was halfway up the stairs when he first heard the screams.

He jumped, his eyes wide, all his fatigue forgotten. He spared one second to wonder what was going on, but then he was running, running faster than he’d ever run before, because he recognized that voice. 

_Outside._

He came to a stumbling halt just beyond the back door, frozen in shock by the scene before him.

Blood. There was blood everywhere. It was covering what was left of the wooden training dummy, was in streaks and spatters on the wood fragments on the ground, was blackening the dirt beneath Sasuke’s feet. He could smell the distinct coppery scent in the air.

And Sasuke, whose profile was to him, had splashes of blood on his face, his eyes wild and lost, his mouth open in a rictus of pain as he let loose hoarse, raw screams that were filled with denial, his ruined fists slamming into the dummy with wet, meaty thunks. 

He had never known – couldn’t have known – that Sasuke felt this way about him. He had never seen the other man so lost and exposed, so full of naked…grief. His heart hammered in his chest in recognition of the emotion displayed so powerfully before him. It was impossible to fake this kind of suffering. Sasuke was out here – dying in slow inches. 

Because of _him_.

Because he loved him.

It was the cessation of sound as Sasuke finally took a split second to breathe that let Naruto move. He’d been trapped by the pain, ensnared by the emotion like razor wire that sliced through him no matter which way he turned. 

Even as the screaming started up again, Naruto was moving, rushing forward to stop him. 

“Sasuke! Sasuke, no!” Why was it taking him so long to cover the short distance between them? He saw glints of white in the red mess of his hands. “Stop! Sasuke!”

He grabbed his shoulders and wrenched him away, turning them to put himself in the way so Sasuke could no longer hurt himself.

“Sasuke, stop! Please! Don’t do this!”

For a split second, Naruto could’ve sworn that he saw sanity return to his eyes, saw recognition in those dark depths. But he couldn’t be sure before Sasuke’s eyes rolled up, and he collapsed. 

Naruto swept him into his arms, his heart chittering with fear. Being extremely careful to not jar his hands, he carried him inside and laid him gently on the couch, lifting Sasuke’s arms and placing them gently onto his chest. 

For the first time, he took a close look at his hands. His legs gave out, and he fell to his knees, wanting to throw up. Taking deep, shuddering breaths, he wrenched his eyes away, resting his head on the cool wooden floor, trying to push the nausea away.

His hands, his _hands_. A shinobi was nothing without his hands. For Sasuke to purposefully damage them was unthinkable. For Sasuke to damage them because of _him_ was unbearable.

He couldn’t stand to look at the glistening red and white tangle of flesh and bone. 

Even if his chakra hadn’t been bound, he wouldn’t have been able to do anything to heal the broken mess in front of him.

Swallowing convulsively, he scrambled up, running for the door.

_Please be okay, please be okay._

Sakura. He had to find Sakura. He didn’t want to run with Sasuke and risk injuring his hands even more. She would heal him. She _had_ to. 

\------------

Naruto ran back to the Uchiha district, cursing all the while. How had he missed her? Luckily, Lee had been home, otherwise he might have gone all the way to the hospital to find her or another medic and wasted precious time. 

Having just gotten back from a mission that afternoon, Lee had been shocked to see that the person who’d been pounding on the door was Naruto, flushed and frantic. It seemed Sakura had left minutes before to check up on Sasuke. 

He had run back immediately, ignoring Lee’s questions, promising to come back and explain later. Right now, the only thing that mattered was getting back to Sasuke and finding out if his hands could be saved.

He strained his senses, trying to detect her familiar chakra and make sure he wasn’t passing her again. He was finally able to detect its faint trace as he neared the district. 

It wasn’t until he was nearly standing outside the door that he really believed that she was there, however. When he heard the sound of Sasuke’s voice, his knees nearly buckled in sheer relief. In combination with his exhaustion from the hours of traveling all day, the aftermath of the rush of adrenaline he’d felt at hearing Sasuke’s cries and the lack of sleep the night before, it made him have to lean against the wall, a few feet shy of the open door.

The irony of coming back to Konoha to hear Sakura and Sasuke alone in the house did not escape him. But this time, all he felt was immense gratitude for her presence.

“I thought—” Sasuke’s voice cracked. “I don’t know why, but I thought he came back.”

Sasuke’s voice was rough from screaming, but it was impossible to miss the ache in his voice. Naruto staggered up, determined to go in and set things right. How could he have been so oblivious to Sasuke’s feelings? No, not oblivious. He had purposefully denied his feelings, unwilling to completely forgive him, unwilling to be vulnerable again. 

Would he always be a fool?

“Sasuke,” Sakura said hoarsely.

Naruto regained his equilibrium and forced his unsteadiness away. He didn’t have time for weakness right now. Sasuke was hurting. No more. He wouldn’t let Sasuke be hurt anymore.

“I want him back,” he said, his voice raw and pleading. “Please, Sakura, I—“

Naruto closed his eyes for a moment as he walked inside, unable to face the pain in that voice. He let the door fall shut with a quiet click, stopping Sasuke’s words, and turned to look at them both.

“I’m home,” he said, his heart clenching at the pallor of Sasuke’s face, the dark rings under his wide, glistening eyes. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”

Left unsaid, but somehow still echoing in the silence, other words rushed to follow.

_I'm sorry it took me so long to come back._

_I'm sorry it took me so long to believe you._

_I'm sorry it took me so long to understand._

_I'm sorry it took me so long to forgive you._

_I'm sorry it took me so long to admit I love you._

Neither responded at first, but for the moment, Naruto didn’t care. He was just grateful that Sasuke’s hands were whole once more. Even still streaked with blood, he could tell that Sakura had managed to push the bone back inside, the fingers were lying normally, no longer twisted horrifically. New, pink skin covered his hands.

He locked his knees to stay upright. Thank the gods, Sasuke was going to be all right.

When another few minutes passed with no one saying anything, he shifted hesitantly, unsure of what to do. Even after hearing Sasuke’s words, he couldn’t stop the doubt that crept up on him as Sasuke continued to stare at him in silence. What if he were too late? Had he hurt him too much? He wouldn’t blame him if he no longer wanted—

"Na-Naruto," Sakura finally stuttered. "You – you came back?"

"Um, yeah," he said, his eyes flickering over to her as he rubbed the back of his neck. What was he doing? Of course they weren't saying anything. They hadn't expected to see him again. He tried to clear the cobwebs from his weary mind.

"But why? I mean, I'm so glad that you're here, but – but you—"

He swallowed, shoring up his courage. Hadn't he just promised himself that he wouldn't hurt Sasuke anymore? That meant admitting the truth, putting his fears aside and making himself vulnerable once again. He lifted his chin and looked straight into stormy black eyes. "For Sasuke," he said clearly. "I came back for Sasuke."

She gasped. Sasuke still didn't say anything.

Eventually, he looked away, trying to hide his hurt in the face of the continued silence. "How – how are his hands?"

"Oh!" Sakura jumped up. "We need to get him to the hospital! He needs casts! I've healed as much as I could, but he needs more attention, and I—"

"I'm fine," Sasuke interrupted, sitting up slowly. He let his hair fall in front of his face. 

"Sasuke—" she began.

"Don't be an idiot," Naruto snorted, stepping forward. He tried to hide his anxiety as he approached the other man. Sasuke seemed to freeze.

He ignored the stab of pain at his reaction. He reached down, but Sasuke shied away, standing on his own. 

“I can walk,” he muttered.

Sakura looked between the two of them, wringing her hands. But she didn’t say anything, instead, opening the door and holding it for Sasuke.

Naruto followed silently behind them. It was probably a good thing that Sasuke didn’t need his help. He was exhausted and could’ve dropped the teme. It was a good thing.

But he couldn’t deny the surge of despair he felt. 

All three were quiet as they walked the long route to the hospital. It was late, and thankfully, not many people were out wandering the streets. No one stopped them until they reached the hospital itself.

Naruto sat in the far corner of the room as he watched Sakura discussing Sasuke’s condition with another medic. Naruto had refused to sit in the Waiting Room, and Sakura had brought him along, overriding the objections of the receptionist.

He huffed, a sardonic twist to his lips, and rubbed a hand over his face. Sasuke hadn’t looked at him once the whole time, hadn't spoken to him, had barely acknowledged his presence. 

It looked like he was too late after all.

“Naruto?” He turned his head to look at Sakura. He didn’t think he could answer the questions so obviously on her mind, so he spoke quickly.

“Aren’t you supposed to be looking at Sasuke?”

“Oh, um, no. They’ve got a hand specialist attending to him to make sure there isn’t any nerve damage or small bits of bone…” She trailed off at his expression. “I would just get in the way at this point,” she finished apologetically.

“But he’s – okay?” His eyes drifted to the two men across the room. Sasuke was nodding at something the other man said.

“Yes!” she hurried to assure him. “There won’t be any long-term damage. He’ll be fine, I swear.”

He nodded gratefully.

“Naruto—”

“Will he be able to leave after this?”

She sighed, acknowledging his delaying tactics. “Yes, although his hands will be in casts,” she looked at him uncertainly, “so he’s going to need help for at least a week—”

“I’ll take care of him,” he promised. It was the least he could do. And maybe – maybe Sasuke would talk to him once the two of them were alone.

“So then – are you here for good? You’re not – you’re not planning to leave again—”

“I’m here for good,” he said, smiling, hoping she didn’t notice how tired and unhappy he actually was.

“But what about—”

“Will Sasuke need any medicine or anything? Should I go and—”

“Naruto—”

“Sakura,” he interrupted, sighing. “Not now. Please. I’ll explain everything later, okay? Just – I just need a minute.”

She obviously wanted to continue talking, but she nodded jerkily. “Okay.” She leaned closer, worry evident in her face. “Naruto, Sasuke – well, Sasuke’s been—” 

“I’ll take care of him,” he said again. “Whatever he needs.” Including getting out of the way. If Sasuke no longer wanted him, he would move out. But first he had to hear it for himself, hear that Sasuke couldn't forgive him, that he was too late, that he had ruined everything.

She opened her mouth to respond, but the medic attending Sasuke called her over. With a last worried glance in his direction, she went over.

He leaned his head back against the wall. What a fucked up mess this was, seemingly lifted straight out of one of Kakashi’s romantic drama novels. He had been in love with Sasuke, but Sasuke had hated him. Sasuke had cheated on him, so he’d left Konoha. He’d built a new life for himself, but then seeing Sasuke had torn it down all around him. Sasuke said he loved him, but he had refused to believe it. He’d left Konoha again, only to realize what he really wanted and come running back. Sasuke, meanwhile, had hurt his hands in some sort of drunken rage, but as soon as he’d seen Naruto, had completely closed up, probably deciding that he wasn’t worth it anymore. 

But…but that last part seemed wrong somehow. 

If Sasuke hated him now…then he wouldn’t have said those things to Sakura…would he?

Didn’t that mean that he still cared for him…even just a little bit?

He rubbed his head, his thoughts completely scattered. He was so damn tired and drained, both physically and emotionally. He couldn’t think clearly. 

But, he promised himself as he leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes, he _would_ figure it out later. And heaven help Sasuke if he kept the silent treatment up much longer, because he hadn’t come all the way back just to have Sasuke refuse to talk him. So the teme better get ready, ‘cause Uzumaki Naruto didn’t handle being ignored well.

\----------

Sasuke finally let himself relax as he saw out of the corner of his eye Naruto falling asleep in the hospital chair. Even though he hadn’t spoken much, he hadn’t been able to take his eyes off the other man the whole time, although he had managed to keep his gaze as unobtrusive as possible so that he doubted anyone other than he had noticed. When the receptionist at the front desk had demanded Naruto stay in the Waiting Room, he'd tensed up, nearly panicking at the thought of having Naruto out of his sight, even for an instant. Sakura, luckily, had waived her objections away, but Sasuke had been ready to walk back out of the hospital rather than be parted from the other man.

His thoughts were in complete turmoil. Naruto had actually come back! He hadn’t imagined it after all. And…he’d even said that he’d come back for Sasuke. For him. 

But he didn’t understand what that meant. Did that mean he’d come back in order to _be_ with Sasuke? Or that he’d come back simply to talk to him? He had to assume that Naruto had found his hitai-ate. Had he come back because of that? 

He needed to know, but – but he couldn’t bear to actually ask. Because if Naruto _had_ come back for some other reason than to stay, if he were actually planning to leave again, then it would break him down into something even he wouldn’t be able to recognize. So he said nothing, dreading knowing.

It was enough for now that he could look at him. Because he had believed that would never happen again.

“Sasuke?”

He tried to focus on Sakura’s worried face. 

“How are you feeling? Are your hands—”

“They’re fine,” he said quietly. He looked around and realized the other medic had left sometime while he’d been looking at Naruto. The realization that he’d been so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn’t even been paying attention to his surroundings almost made him flush.

“Well then, you’re free to go,” she said softly, both of them whispering in an attempt to not disturb the sleeping man in the room. 

He nodded but made no move to get up. “Did he,” there was no confusing who he was referring to, “say anything?” He could ask Sakura. It bothered him to show her how weak he was – but she had already seen him at his lowest.

She smiled cautiously, her eyes alight with a guarded hope. “He said that he was here for good.” Sasuke’s eyes closed at the news. “And he promised to take care of you while your hands are in casts.”

He opened his eyes again, his brow slightly furrowed. What did that mean? What happened once his hands were healed? Did he just feel guilty? Was that the only reason he’d come back, because he’d been worried Sasuke would do something stupid?

As if reading his thoughts, Sakura said, “Now Sasuke, don’t try to find hidden meanings in his words! It’s obvious that Naruto came back because he loves you—”

“Did he say that?” he asked, looking at her almost desperately.

"No, but, why else would he—”

"I don't know! I don't understand why he's here! This morning, there was nothing I could do to convince him to stay, but – but—"

She reached over and hesitantly touched his shoulder.

"I don't know what I would do if he left me again," he whispered harshly, hiding his face from her, staring at the unwieldy casts on his hands.

Her hand tightened. "Talk to him, Sasuke. There has to be a good reason why he's back. He's stayed by your side all night long. He knows how you feel about him. I can't believe that he would come back unless he felt the same way!"

Talk to him? When had any of their discussions ended well? When had they ever been able to talk without it ending in fists and pain?

Sakura couldn't believe Naruto would come back unless he cared for him? He couldn't believe Naruto had come back even _though_ he cared for him. He knew that Naruto cared. The stupid dobe cared for _everyone_. But loved him? Forgave him? Hope was a suffocating pressure that weighed him down more than despair. 

Fuck, what was wrong with him? Too frightened to hope, too weak to confront Naruto. He got off the examining table stiffly, ignoring the slight ache in his hands. Sakura's hand fell from his shoulder. When had he become this...this disgusting parody of a man? _This_ was why he had denied the bonds to Naruto in the first place. Attachments made a person weak, made him vulnerable, pitiful. _This_ was why he had refused to believe he had allowed himself to care for someone again. 

He strode across the room, his eyes narrowed in anger as he approached the root of all his problems. 

Nothing was more important than becoming stronger! It didn't matter that Itachi was dead. A shinobi's life was always about being better than his enemy. But look at him! He'd been brought low, not by a stronger opponent, but by the weakness of his own heart.

He was Uchiha Sasuke. The very last Uchiha. He had a responsibility to his family! He couldn't love—

He shied away from that thought.

And his hands! What had he been thinking? To intentionally hurt himself? And for what? For _what_?

He loomed over Naruto's sleeping form, his chest heaving, his eyes flickering red. Part of him knew his anger was irrational, but he hated his thoughts, hated the fear that seemed to cloud his mind. He wanted to escape them, to be rid of conflicting emotions that refused to give him peace. 

Naruto...

He stilled and didn’t even realize when his gaze gentled, sweeping hungrily over the man in front of him. 

Even asleep, Naruto looked ragged and exhausted, his forehead furrowed, dark smudges underneath his eyes. Just how far had Naruto traveled to look so worn? 

He huffed tiredly as concern began to overshadow the anger.

His eyes bled back to black, his shoulders slumping. He reached out one hand, pulling it back quickly when he saw the cast instead of his fingers gently touching red-streaked hair.

Only Naruto could make someone like him, damned as he must surely be, want to rise above his lot in life and be _more_ , be worthy to stand by his side. To Naruto, power only mattered in order to protect his precious people. Bonds were the most important thing in his life, a reason to get stronger, not a weakness at all. Even after all this time, that had never changed.

So surely… Sasuke swallowed. Surely Naruto would forgive him. One day.

_For Sasuke. I came back for Sasuke._

No, he couldn't bring himself to believe. But he would shoulder the yoke of hope once more.

He turned back and saw Sakura standing by the examination table where he'd left her, her breath coming in fast pants, her hands covering her mouth as she willed herself to remain still. He wondered how much it had cost her to stay back.

"Come on," he rasped. "Let's get out of here."

\----------

Naruto lay in his bed, his eyes wide open in the darkness. Sakura had gently shaken him awake at the hospital and told him Sasuke, who’d been standing by the door, was ready to go. 

They’d all gone back to the Uchiha district, but Sasuke had gone up to his room and closed the door as soon as they’d walked inside. It’d been up to Naruto to thank Sakura and bid her goodbye. Thankfully, she hadn’t tried to ask any more questions and had left quietly.

Although still incredibly weary, he’d gone outside and burned the training dummy to the ground, unable to stand the thought of it covered in Sasuke’s blood. 

Then he’d trudged back inside, throwing away a dish of congealed noodles on the table, and bathed, before finally slipping into his room to fall asleep.

Unfortunately, sleep continued to elude him an hour later. He kept seeing Sasuke screaming, his bloody hands pounding into the broken wood.

He wondered if Sasuke would finally talk to him the next day. He wondered what he could possibly do to apologize, to make things up to him – if he _could_ make things up to him. 

He wanted to believe he could set things right, but… He kept hearing Sasuke scream.

He sighed. There was no hope for it. He was going to have to check to make sure Sasuke was okay.

He sat up, wondering about the sanity of going into the other man’s bedroom. Sakura had mentioned that they’d forced Sasuke to take some drugs to help with the healing, so maybe the teme would be too groggy to even notice he was there?

He slid out of the bed and shuffled quietly to the room across the hall. Although there was no light, he found his way quickly, familiar with the layout of the house. He took a deep breath, once again questioning the need to do this, before he opened the door soundlessly. 

Sasuke’s room was nearly pitch black, the shutters closed over the window, and only tiny slits of moonlight were visible. 

Well, there went the idea that he would go inside, take a quick peak and then leave.

Okay, touching was just inviting death, but maybe he could get close enough to hear Sasuke breath. That should be enough to allow him to sleep. 

If only he knew where the bed was located…

Cursing the fact that he’d never actually been inside Sasuke’s room in the past year, he made his way to the place where they’d kept the bed when he lived there years before, silently praying that the other man hadn’t redecorated.

 _He_ had left the shutters in his room open, so his eyes weren’t used to the absence of virtually all light. Moving slowly, his shin finally bumped the edge of the bed.

Thank goodness, the teme’s lack of originality worked in his favor.

His eyes having gradually adjusted, he could just make out a lump at the far end of the bed. Unfortunately, he couldn’t hear anything except the pounding of his own heart in his ears.

Damn it, Sasuke _would_ sleep on the other side of the bed, the contrary bastard.

Going around the bed would be too much effort. He’d just lean over and listen—

He nearly fell onto the bed and had to put down one hand on the mattress to keep himself up. Where the hell was his balance when he needed it? Oh, that’s right. He was so tired he could barely think, so tired he had snuck into Sasuke’s room to make sure the asshole wasn’t moaning in pain even though he _knew_ the idea was ridiculous, so balance was probably going to be an issue as well. 

He winced and waited for Sasuke to wake up and yell at him. 

But Sasuke continued to sleep.

Oh. Well, that worked out to his advantage. 

Letting his weight rest on his hand, he leaned over once again and finally heard the soft whisper of Sasuke breathing.

Muscles he hadn’t even known were tensed up finally relaxed as he let the sound wash over him, drowning out the sound of screams.

And suddenly, it was too much effort to go back to his room. Exhaustion washed over him, no longer held at bay by the worry of Sasuke’s condition. Knowing that Sasuke was going to find him in the morning, knowing that he’d be furious, he carefully slid onto the bed, not bothering with the blankets. He just…he just had to lie here this one time. No matter what the consequences. 

He lay on his side, facing Sasuke, letting the soft breaths lull him. And in the dark, knowing the other man was asleep and wouldn’t hear him, he was finally able to voice the words he’d kept locked up inside of himself for over seven years.

In a whisper so soft that he doubted Sasuke would’ve been able to hear even if he had been awake, he said, “Sasuke, I l—”

Simultaneously, “Naruto, what are you doing?”

He fell out of the bed.

“What the hell, Teme! Give a guy some warning!” He clambered off the floor, flushed and angry.

“My eyes have been open the whole time, Dobe. I thought that would be warning enough,” Sasuke said drily. 

Naruto sputtered. “You’re back is to the window! And – and I – why the hell didn’t you say anything when I walked in the room!”

Sasuke scoffed. “Idiot.”

“Bastard!”

Sasuke sighed, derailing the normal insult exchange. “Why are you here, Naruto?”

Well, there went Avoidance Tactic Number One.

He breathed deeply through his nose. Now that Sasuke was taking to him, all he wanted to do was run back to his room. “I was just – I just wanted to make sure you were okay. And I see that you are. So…I’m gonna head back to my room. It’s been a long day, and I’m—”

“I see.”

He stopped, wondering if he was imagining the tinge of disappointment underlying the words. His heart sped up.

“Sasuke, do you – if I – would you—”

Sasuke sat up, the blanket rustling until it lay around his waist. Even now, Naruto couldn’t see enough to make out his expression.

He could do this. He _would_ do this. He had promised not to hurt Sasuke anymore, and the only way to keep that promise was to know what Sasuke wanted from him. He knew what _he_ wanted – at last – but he didn’t know if Sasuke had changed his mind.

He was suddenly grateful for the darkness which kept them hidden, because if Sasuke rejected him, at least he wouldn’t have his expression burned into his mind. At least he’d be able to hide the devastation. He wasn’t even aware that his breathing had picked up, unable to hear it over the rush of blood.

“Could I…stay here…with you…tonight?” 

“N-Naruto?” He would’ve cringed at the way Sasuke tensed, his whole body stiffening, had he not heard the surprise and the lack of anger in his voice. It gave him hope.

He swallowed the lump in his throat. 

“I just want – I – Sasuke—”

Sasuke didn’t say anything, but he lifted the blanket slowly with his arm, as if he were attempting to calm a skittish animal, afraid any quick movements would make him bolt. 

Both men pretended to not notice the way his arm trembled. 

Without the use of his hand, the blanket slid over the cast, falling back to the mattress, but Naruto understood, and he gingerly climbed in, lying awkwardly on the edge of the bed.

Sasuke watched him settle in before lying back down, both of them as far from the other as possible.

But it was a start.

Naruto opened his mouth. He knew he should say it, had promised himself he would admit his feelings to Sasuke, had been willing to say it earlier, when he’d thought Sasuke was asleep and wouldn’t hear, but saying it now— It was impossible.

Three little words, but they were beyond him. 

He closed his eyes, covering them with his arm, ashamed of his own cowardice.

His eyes popped back open when Sasuke broke the silence. 

"Welcome home," Sasuke said quietly. There was a wealth of meaning in those simple words.

He gulped, his eyes stinging. 

It was impossible for now. But he _would_ tell Sasuke how he felt. He _would_.

“Thanks,” he said unsteadily. “I’m glad to be home.”


	16. Chapter 16

Sasuke’s eyes fluttered open slowly, an unfamiliar feeling of almost contentment making him slow and reluctant to wake. He blinked at the gold light that had managed to slip through the closed shutters, casting the room in warm glow. 

A soft sigh made him whip his head around to stare at the man in bed with him.

Naruto…

All vestiges of sleep disappeared. Sometime in the night, the two of them had managed to move from the extreme ends of the bed, probably in search of warmth. He hadn’t even noticed the pressure, but now that he was aware, he could feel Naruto’s leg pressed against his own pajama-clad one and realized Naruto’s arm was flung across his bare chest.

The incongruous thought that at least Naruto’s habit of taking up more than his fair share of the bed hadn’t changed flitted through his mind. 

Quick on its heels was the memory that towards the end, before he’d left, Naruto had started sleeping curled up on his side in the fetal position, careful to keep away from Sasuke as much as possible. 

He turned his head back to stare up at the ceiling, his eyes dry and itchy. 

Sleeping with Naruto had been one luxury he’d been unwilling to deny himself. Even though six years ago he’d known that keeping separate rooms would hurt Naruto more, he hadn’t been able to ever make that break. He’d rationalized the decision a number of ways. It would be one more way to keep Naruto uncertain. It would ensure that Naruto had nowhere to go but to him, no safe haven for him to gather his thoughts away from Sasuke. He’d be able to keep a closer eye on Naruto. 

He had thought up all sorts of things. But really, he simply hadn’t been able to let Naruto go. 

Even back then, a part of him had known the truth and had hated Naruto more for it.

Was it any wonder that Naruto had left for five years and not looked back?

He closed his eyes and brought up his arm, intending to lay it over his eyes, but the odd weight made him remember the cast. He sighed soundlessly and lowered his arm back to the mattress.

Yesterday had not been a good day. 

But – even with all that occurred – somehow Naruto was back and in bed with him. He turned his head once again and swallowed.

With Naruto on his stomach, Sasuke could only see half of his face, the rest buried in a pillow, but it was more than enough. 

Naruto shifted, his arm slipping just slightly. Sasuke's breath hitched at the sensation. Not that it was sexual. It was just that – he couldn't remember the last time Naruto had been this relaxed around him, the last time he had wanted to hold Sasuke like this.

He wished the casts were off so that he could run his hand over Naruto's arm, feel the fine hairs that covered the corded muscle underneath, feel the way Naruto would sigh and unconsciously pull him closer, sleepily nuzzling into his neck or hair. 

His arms twitched in reaction to his thoughts.

What would Naruto do when he woke up and found himself wrapped around Sasuke? Would he pull back, horrified by their position? Would he smile?

Why had he stayed with him last night? Had he been worried that Sasuke would do something to himself again? 

Why had he come back? Why wasn't he with – with Shin?

What had he meant when he'd said he'd come back for Sasuke?

He looked at the clock on his bedside table. It was almost ten o'clock. They had slept a long time. 

He didn't have any meetings or commitments that day, but he didn't know if the same were true for Naruto. Would Naruto have to see the Hokage or present himself to the Council? He really should wake him – but he wasn't ready to give up this time just yet. Who knew what would happen when Naruto woke up? And Naruto had been exhausted last night. Just – just a little bit longer.

Sasuke turned his head again, unable to not look at Naruto. It had been the same way last night. He'd been fixated on keeping Naruto in sight. Even when they'd all returned to the house and he'd gone upstairs alone, he'd listened for the sounds the other man made as he moved around the house, tracking his progress. The only reason he'd been able to tear himself away in the first place was that he'd been avoiding talking to Naruto, unwilling and unable to actually confront him about why he'd come back. When he'd heard Naruto go outside, he'd nearly raced downstairs until he realized Naruto was going into the back courtyard. Relieved that he hadn't actually left again and curious as to what he was doing, Sasuke had peered outside through a window and been shocked by the sight of Naruto torching the battered wooden dummy Sasuke had nearly demolished before. 

The look on his face...

He couldn't deny the rush of relief when Naruto had finally settled himself into his room, but he'd been unable to sleep, knowing the other man was across the hall, wondering how long he would stay this time.

So when Naruto had opened his room door to step into the hallway, he'd tensed, fearing the worst, but then Naruto had opened _his_ door, and he'd been speechless. 

Accustomed to the darkness, he'd watched as Naruto had clumsily made his way to the bed, what little light there was leaking in through the shutter painting stripes across his face. His heart had raced when Naruto had leaned towards him, although he'd managed to keep his breathing low and even. But Naruto had just leaned close for a short moment and then pulled away, not saying anything. He'd blinked in surprise, still waiting for the other man to say something, but then Naruto had lain down. In his bed. Next to him. 

And just looked at him.

No longer able to bear the silence, he'd finally asked, "Naruto, what are you doing?" Of course, the usuratonkachi had fallen out of the bed.

But – at least they'd started talking. And Naruto had asked to stay. 

He finished turning his head; this time, however, clear blue eyes looked back at him.

"Hey," Naruto said softly, uncertainly.

Not knowing what else to say, Sasuke fell back into long-familiar habits. "Hn."

Naruto's mouth twitched, amusement in his eyes. He started to roll on his side, realizing in the process where his arm was resting. His eyes widened, and he quickly began to raise and pull back his arm.

Sasuke didn't know what expression he made, but Naruto stopped moving, his stiff arm half-lying on his chest. "Uhhh..."

Sasuke rolled out of bed, his shoulders tense, uncomfortable. "I'll make breakfast," he said tersely. He slung a large T-shirt over his arm from the chair next to the bed that he'd laid out the night before, intending to put it on in the bathroom, not wanting Naruto to see his clumsy maneuvering. He controlled the shiver that wanted to run down his back, unaccountably cold all of the sudden. 

"Hey, Sasuke," Naruto began, scrambling up from the bed, cursing as he got tangled up in the blankets.

He pretended to not hear him and walked out the door.

\------

Shit. Well, that could've gone better. 

Naruto's shoulders slumped down as he sat in the midst of sheets and blanket. 

Couldn't the damn bastard give him a break? He'd opened his eyes and there had been Sasuke lying so close to him, and just for an instant, it had been...really nice. They hadn't argued, they'd talked, albeit just hellos, and with the soft glow of sunlight and the peaceful silence, it had been so much more than he'd hoped for. 

But then he'd realized where exactly his arm was, lying across Sasuke's stupid naked chest, and he'd instinctively pulled away. They hadn't touched like that, carelessly holding each other, in years. So he had every right to freak out a bit! He hadn't wanted Sasuke to kill him for invading his personal space either.

Except...Sasuke's face had gone from looking softly surprised and hesitant to completely closed off. It was obvious he'd taken it as some kind of rejection, even though Naruto hadn't meant it that way. 

He sighed and climbed out of the bed, kicking the covers off of him. He scowled as he made the bed. He hated making the bed. It just got all messed up again and always seemed like a waste of effort. Starting the day off in a bad mood didn't help things either.

Still... He paused in the process of jamming a pillow in place. The fact that Sasuke had let him sleep with him and for him to react that way had to mean that he wasn't too late. Sasuke hadn't given up on him yet. Right?

He remembered his dark thoughts from the day before, but after a night's rest, he felt more optimistic. Yeah, he'd been a stupid ass for keeping Sasuke at arm's length the past several months, and yeah, deciding to go off to Ame...again...hadn't been the smartest thing he could've ever done, but Sasuke had said he loved him. And he'd been putting up with his crap for the past year almost. Although...the last time Sasuke had said those words had been right before Naruto had decided to choose Shin. 

But, but he didn't think Sasuke was the type to just fall out of love so easily. He would just...surely he could get Sasuke to say them again? And then this time, he would be able to answer. This time, he wouldn't hurt Sasuke.

He knew he was being a little childish for wanting Sasuke to say ‘I love you’ first, but he wanted to be sure he still felt the same way about him. With everything that had happened...he just wanted to be sure.

It was with a cautious but hopeful heart that he made his way downstairs, not bothering to change out of the tank top and pajama pants he'd slept in. He idly wondered how long it would take Sasuke to realize that with his hands in casts, making breakfast would be impossible. 

\-------------

Sasuke cursed the frying pan, ready to perform a katon jutsu and leave it a deformed slag of metal.

Of course, he’d need his hands to form the seals first.

He glared at the pan, a vein throbbing in his temple.

“Here, let me take care of that,” Naruto said, sliding one arm around Sasuke’s side to grab the pan. 

Sasuke flinched, drawing away. 

Naruto faltered for just a second before turning away, rearranging the pan on the stove and heading for the refrigerator to get the makings of breakfast. 

Sasuke stared after him.

“You should just sit down, you know. I told you I would take care of you,” Naruto said as he rummaged around, his back still to Sasuke. “It’s not every day the great Uzumaki Naruto consents to make someone his Super Awesome Egg Surprise!” 

By the time he turned around, his arms full of ingredients, a fake happy smile was on his face.

Sasuke quietly went to the small table in the kitchen and sat down, not knowing what to say or do. After a minute’s silence, he swallowed and said, “Should I be worried about the surprise part of it? It doesn’t include ramen, does it?”

Naruto turned and blinked at him, a brilliant smile slowly replacing the fake one he hated so much. “You peeked!”

A small snort escaped him. “Dobe.”

“Hey, Teme! Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it!”

\--------

By the end of the day, Sasuke was exhausted. He’d refused to take any of the pain medication Sakura had dropped off, and his hands had been aching since late morning. 

Naruto had apparently already met with Hokage the day before, so he’d been at home with Sasuke all day. While at first, Sasuke had been relieved to have him close by, as time went on, he’d gotten more and more frustrated. Naruto had been overly solicitous, always ready to step in and take over when he had problems. The final straw had been when Naruto had awkwardly offered to help him bathe. He’d stormed out of the room, snarling that he’d wait until the casts came off to get clean.

The same went for using the bathroom. He’d check himself back into the hospital before he’d let – let Naruto— Argh!

He had managed a semblance of brushing his teeth. And as long as he kept his arms out of the water, he could stand under the shower spray to wet down his hair and at least rinse off his body, but hygiene was going to have to take second place to his pride for the remainder of the week. 

He gritted his teeth. He hated being helpless and dependent on anyone else. While he understood that Naruto was just trying to help, the fact that the other man was there, watching him fail, had been eating away at him all day. Anyone but Naruto.

He hissed through his teeth in frustration as he struggled to take off the shirt he’d been wearing. The loose, drawstring pants were easier, and he’d already managed to change into his pajama bottoms, but pulling the shirt over his head was nearly impossible. 

His eyes narrowed as he contemplated just tearing the damn thing off when he heard a knock on the door. 

“I don’t need your help,” he nearly yelled, his whole body tense and stiff. “Go to bed!”

When he didn't hear anything for a long time, he thought the dobe had actually listened to him for once. But then— 

“I know you don’t want my help, Sasuke. I know you don’t need it. I just wanted to—” He heard a long sigh. The tiredness in Naruto’s voice went a long way to draining his anger. “Would it be okay if I— Can I sleep in here tonight?” Even muffled through the door, he could hear the uncertainty. 

“Oh.” He blinked. Really? Again? He'd thought that last night had been a one-time thing, a moment of weakness when they were both fragile and in need of comfort, especially with Naruto's reaction that morning. He was tempted to say no, to give himself the space he'd been looking for when he'd stormed out of the living room in the first place. 

But Naruto sounded so unsure, and if he turned down this chance, he didn't think Naruto would ask again. Sasuke cleared his throat. “Alright.”

Naruto slowly opened the door and peeked inside before slipping all the way in. He was wearing the same tank top and pants he’d been wearing the night before. Although Sasuke had seen him in the same outfit that morning, in the dim light of the room from the small lamp next to his bed, it was much more intimate than it had been before. Small shadows danced across his body, making Sasuke have to turn away as he gave up on his shirt and moved towards the bed.

“Aren’t you going to – um – take off your shirt?” Naruto asked uncomfortably, nearly blushing. 

“It’s not important,” he mumbled.

“Sasuke!” Naruto said, starting to move forward. “You hate sleeping in a shirt. Do you want me to—”

Sasuke eyes widened in consternation, and he whipped around to face Naruto, one arm out. “Do not even suggest that you take off my shirt for me,” he growled.

“Don’t be an ass!” Naruto shot back, reaching forward. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Naruto!” he hissed, blocking the other man’s arms. “I said—”

Naruto managed to grab a handful of the bottom of his shirt. He struggled, hating the fact that his arms were in casts, as he tried to move away.

“Teme, stand still!”

“I can do it myself!”

“If you could do it yourself, you would have by now!”

“It’s my damn shirt!”

“Don’t be a baby, Sasuke! I’m just trying—”

The sound of fabric ripping made them both stop as they looked down incredulously at the long tear in the shirt.

Naruto stepped back hurriedly, holding up his hands defensively. “Now, Sasuke, that was an accident—”

“Usuratonkachi, you tore my shirt!” Sasuke narrowed his eyes dangerously, conveniently forgetting he’d been considering ripping the shirt off just moments before.

“Me?” Naruto’s eyes narrowed as well. “If you hadn’t been making such a big fuss—”

“I never asked you to take off my shirt!”

“You don’t sleep well when you’re wearing a top to bed! If you weren’t so freaking stubborn, then—”

Sasuke took a step closer angrily. “You should’ve listened—”

“Pft, Teme.” Naruto reached forward and grabbed the remains of the shirt, pulling it over Sasuke’s head before he could react. Ignoring Sasuke’s squawk of outrage, he whipped it off his arms and then flung it in his face. “There! You’re welcome.”

He stomped over to his side of the bed, muttering all the while, and flopped down, pulling the cover over his shoulder, his back to Sasuke. “Goodnight!”

Sasuke stared at him in disbelief, his shirt in a pile on the floor where it had fallen. Why that— If his hands weren’t bound, he’d— He narrowed his eyes, studying Naruto’s back in evil contemplation.

He finally just walked over to the wall and emphatically hit the switch, turning off the light in the room, and made his way back to the bed with long-familiar ease. Settling in, he admitted – privately – that he was glad the shirt was off. 

He lay on his back, once again as close to the edge as he could comfortably get. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to start drifting asleep when he realized something. With that stupid argument, Naruto had made him completely forget how angry and frustrated he'd been. That idiot...

"Goodnight," he said grudgingly at last. 

"Hmph," Naruto grunted. "Jackass," he murmured, not loud enough to be too obvious but loud enough for Sasuke to hear.

His eyebrow twitched, though he chose to let the insult go. But strangely enough, it was with a small smirk on his face that he eventually fell asleep.

\-----------

When Sasuke woke the next morning, it was to find Naruto on his side, facing him this time. Their faces were about two feet apart, and luckily, or unluckily, none of their limbs were touching. 

He really had to use the bathroom. But getting up would start the torture all over again. Naruto would probably wake up and then ask if he could help. At which point, Sasuke would have to kill him. 

To piss or not to piss?

He groaned silently. What had his life become?

Whether Naruto was responding to some small movement on his part or if he had just been on the verge of waking up himself, the other man opened his eyes groggily. Sasuke knew that if the situation demanded it, Naruto could wake up, instantly alert, but it was nice to see awareness slowly creep across his face. It meant he felt safe.

This morning, Naruto blinked and yawned, covering his mouth sleepily. His eyes adjusted, focusing on Sasuke’s face. He kept his hand in front of his mouth, but Sasuke could see the edges of an uncertain smile on his face.

“Morning,” Naruto said quietly. 

“Hn.”

Naruto rolled his eyes.

“How are your hands?”

While they seemed okay after sleeping all night long, Sasuke knew that by the end of the day, they’d be aching horribly again. 

He shrugged. “As good as can be expected.”

Naruto didn’t even bother to suggest he take his pain medication. He knew how Sasuke felt about being out of control.

“Can I do any—” Sasuke’s fierce glare made him stop mid-sentence.

“What? I was just going to ask if you wanted me to do anything before I went downstairs. I’ve gotta go out today, so it’s going to be your only chance to order me around ‘til I get back.”

Sasuke’s heart started to speed up. Where was Naruto going? Why was he going? What was he—

Naruto eyes widened, and he hurriedly continued. “The Council wants to check over my manacles and make sure Shhhhh- uh, make sure they’re still working right. Since I’m going to be out anyway, I thought I’d stop by Sakura’s and maybe pick up some groceries.” He paused for a second before muttering something incomprehensible.

“What?” Sasuke asked.

Naruto repeated himself, barely louder than the first time.

“What?” Sasuke asked again. “Damn it, Naruto, move your hand. I can’t understand what the hell you’re saying.”

“I don’t want to move my hand,” Naruto said peevishly. “You ought to be grateful I’m leaving it here. It tastes like something crawled into my mouth and died.” 

Sasuke instinctively pulled his head back, at the same time wondering how bad _his_ breath was, and should he be covering his mouth as well? Stupid Naruto for making him think stupid thoughts.

“I _said_ , do you wanna come with me?”

Sasuke stilled. He felt torn. He didn’t like the idea of Naruto leaving the house without him, but…but the time alone would be a welcome relief. But Naruto was asking for his company. If he said no, would—

Naruto laughed. "Geez, Teme. I just asked if you wanted to come along on errands. There's no need for you to look like I'm asking you to decide which flavor of ramen you like best!"

He rolled out of bed, still chuckling and stretched, his back to Sasuke. "I'm gonna find something to eat. I'll make you something, too, so come down before it gets cold."

He ambled out of the room, closing the door lightly. Sasuke stared after him. Why did he feel that he'd made the wrong choice?

\------------

Naruto walked down the street, his hands in his pockets. After feeding Sasuke breakfast, which the other man had not been happy about, he'd headed out for the day, determined to stay away as long as possible. Although he did have to get his restraints checked out, he'd made up the rest of his errands in order to get out the house and give Sasuke some time alone. He didn't know why he'd even bothered to ask Sasuke to come along with him since it defeated the whole purpose of the day anyway. 

But he had.

And Sasuke had turned him down. 

He kicked at a pebble, watching it skitter across the street.

It wasn't a big deal. Not really. He knew Sasuke hated being dependent on anyone. So he understood and had even made a joke about it so Sasuke wouldn't feel guilty for not wanting to go out with him. 

But he wished, for once, that Sasuke would accept his help. 

He sighed and looked up, letting his eyes rove the sky. 

How was he ever going to admit to the teme how he felt if Sasuke kept pushing him away? The whole getting-Sasuke-to-say-I-love-you-first thing wasn't working out too well, especially considering how tense Sasuke got when he wasn't at top form.

It was like the damn bastard was an injured animal, getting more aggressive and ferocious the more hurt he was, as if his bluster could keep him safe. It also didn't help that Sasuke got extremely paranoid whenever he was hurt, wary of the people around him, and Naruto knew he wanted nothing more than to barricade himself in his home until he recovered.

Knowing all of that, the fact that Sasuke had let him sleep with him...twice in a row...even when he wasn't loopy on drugs...it was a hopeful sign. 

Naruto didn't even know why he'd asked Sasuke if he could sleep with him again the previous night. He definitely hadn't planned on it. Hell, he hadn't planned on doing it the _first_ night. It was just that after Sasuke had stormed out of the room, pissed off that Naruto had dared to ask him if he needed help bathing, Naruto had started to...well, he'd started to worry. Not worry that Sasuke couldn't take care of himself or worry that Sasuke was in pain, but he'd started to worry because Sasuke hadn't been angry with him like that in a long time. 

Not counting the whole episode when Sasuke had found out about Shin's offer to take him to Ame. 

And even knowing it was anger more directed at the situation than at Naruto himself, he hadn't been able to put his fear aside, fear that Sasuke's feelings had changed after getting rejected so many times, fear that Sasuke really was mad at _him_ , fear that Sasuke didn't want him there anymore. Before he'd even realized it, he'd been outside Sasuke's room, knocking on the door. 

He sighed wearily. Fuck.

Sasuke was angry, and he was afraid, and there was no way in hell either of them was going to admit to anything anytime soon.

He poked out his lower lip and blew an upward puff of air, ruffling his bangs. 

What he wouldn't give to have a mission right now. Something challenging that required all of his attention, so he couldn't think of anything other than accomplishing his task. Sasuke wasn't the only one who needed some breathing room. 

He sighed once again. 

Maybe he'd go over to Ichiraku's and get some ramen. It always made him feel better.

\-------------

Sasuke flexed his fingers, relieved beyond measure to finally have the horrid casts off. Although stiff from being incapacitated for so long, they felt good. They felt _healed_.

He listened to the medic's comments about taking things easy for a while, annoyed by her cautiousness but knowing he would follow her instructions to the letter anyway. It had been hard enough to not have the use of his hands for a week. There was no way he would risk damaging then again now. 

He absently wished Sakura was the one talking to him instead of the woman next to him. Unfortunately, Sakura had been in Sand for the past few days, studying the healing properties of a few of their plants, and she wouldn't be back for another week.

He sighed internally. Maybe it was a good thing she was gone. If she had been around, then she might have been getting ready to kick his ass by now. 

Every day recently had been exactly the same. Sasuke would wake up and look at Naruto. Naruto would eventually wake up, or would already be awake, and look back. Naruto would smile awkwardly and very carefully _not_ ask how Sasuke's hands were. After a bit of silence, Naruto would get out of bed, turn his back on Sasuke and babble on about nothing for a while before going down to make breakfast. Sasuke would eventually follow him down and would eat/be fed breakfast. Naruto would clean up. They would interact minimally throughout the morning, Sasuke getting more and more frustrated with himself and the situation as the morning went on. Naruto would hover around the edges, ready to help if Sasuke asked but knowing not to offer. Sasuke never asked. Naruto would eventually make lunch. They would eat. Naruto would clean up. Then Naruto would leave the house, making Sasuke paranoid and relieved at the same time. Naruto would come back in time to make dinner. While he was cleaning up, Sasuke would shower. After he was finished, Naruto would shower. Sasuke would get ready for bed, and eventually, Naruto would walk in, help him get undressed and get into bed. They would turn off the light, not talking, and fall asleep. And the cycle would start all over again the next day.

It wasn't that Naruto didn't make the effort to talk to him or include him in his plans. It was just that Sasuke didn't – couldn't – respond. He wanted to. Fuck, he wanted to. But he couldn't make himself do it. 

The moments of lightheartedness that had occasionally popped up the first couple of days had gradually disappeared as his frustration had mounted. What could have been – what _should_ have been – time for the two of them to talk was spent in tense silence.

He knew he was screwing up whatever chance he had. He knew Naruto had to be extremely pissed off that he was being so stubborn and shutting him out, not talking and barely pretending to even notice Naruto was around. Instead of getting better as the week wore on, he'd gotten more and more withdrawn, more on edge and generally, more difficult to live with. 

He _knew_ he was fucking it up. But he just couldn't help it. 

He trusted Naruto. He did. He loved Naruto. But...it was driving him insane being so weak in front of him.

It was like watching a stranger take over his body. He would yell at himself to say thank you, just _once_ , for all the effort Naruto made to make the time easier for him, to offer some acknowledgement, something...anything. But he never did. He'd tense up every time Naruto would get close to him, would start to get angry whenever the other man did something for him that he couldn't do for himself. 

After the first night when Naruto had torn his shirt off of him in order for him to sleep, he'd actually gone to bed reasonably happy. But each gesture of kindness, each piece of evidence of Sasuke's inability to do something on his own, had made him even angrier with himself. 

And at Naruto.

Because Naruto was seeing him weak, was seeing him helpless.

How could Naruto ever want to be with someone like that? 

They hadn't even discussed _why_ Naruto had come back yet! Naruto hadn't brought it up, and he'd been too disgusted with himself to be able to mention it. 

And what if – what if Naruto were just staying with him out of some misplaced guilt? What was he going to do then?

But now that he had his hands back...

Even knowing that he still had to be careful with them, he felt – whole – like a real man again. He didn't need Naruto to help him anymore. He could take care of himself once again. 

And he could finally look Naruto in the eyes, something he’d been having a harder and harder time doing recently. 

Now that his hands were healed, he could ask Naruto why he’d come back.

And if necessary, he could grab onto Naruto and not let him go.

Just having the casts off made the frustration he'd been carrying around for the past week start to fade away. 

Only now it was replaced with fear.

He'd spent the past week virtually pushing Naruto away the whole time. What if Naruto actually left?

After chasing after the damn dobe for five years and spending a year trying to convince him that he'd changed... What if he'd ruined everything in the past week?

His heart started beating faster. 

What if Naruto were packing right now in order to move out?

He waited anxiously as the medical ninja finished looking over his hands and giving him instructions. He had to get back immediately. He had purposefully waited until Naruto had left for the afternoon before going to the hospital to get his bandages removed. Naruto had known they were coming off that day, but he hadn't pressed Sasuke about the information. He had hesitated on his way out, asking repeatedly if Sasuke needed him for anything before he left, but Sasuke had waved him off, too anxious to get the casts off to do more than feel a slight twinge of guilt at the look on Naruto's face.

But remembering it now... 

He couldn't get out of the examination room fast enough.

Not that it mattered since the person he was rushing to see was already there. Sasuke walked to the room down the hall from where he'd been staying, listening in near disbelief to Naruto's exasperated voice echoing in the hallway. Why was he there?

"Damn it, Neji, just leave it alone, alright?"

"Naruto--"

"How you can feel guilty about a rockslide falling on me, I just don't know—”

" _What_?"

The two men turned towards Sasuke who was standing in the doorway, his incredulous cry echoing in the hallway.

"Oh. Hey...Teme..." Sasuke looked at Naruto, his eyes wide with shock.

Naruto looked horrible. He had cuts and bruises all over his face and chest, which was visible through the gashes in his shirt. He was covered in dust and dirt, and his right arm was in a makeshift splint, held close to his body.

"What happened?" he growled, looking at Neji accusingly. The other man stiffened.

"Tch, it was my fault, Sasuke. Stop giving Neji the evil eye." Naruto waved a hand at himself dismissively. "It's nothing, really. I wanted to do some training on the mountain, and I guess the area we were in was unstable. I heard the rocks collapsing, but I wasn't fast enough without chakra to get out of the way in time. Neji was doing me a favor and giving me some privacy, so he was too far away to get to me before the rocks fell. But I'm fine, so—”

"Hyuuga," Sasuke began, a mild ache starting in his hands from the strength with which he was clenching them. Neji's eyes narrowed as he stared back, almost accusingly. 

"I said it was my fault, Sasuke." Naruto hopped down from the examination table and stepped into his line of sight. "I asked Neji to give me some time alone. Neither of us had any way of knowing this would happen."

Of course it was Neji's fault! As the Anbu following Naruto, he should never have strayed that far from his target, even if they were friends and Naruto had requested it. He—

"Brat, you've got more lives than a cat. You're lucky I—” Tsunade paused as she surveyed the tense scene. 

"You two," she said at length, pointing to Neji and him. "Out. I want to finish looking over Naruto, and I don't need the two of you getting in my way."

"But—”

"Out!" Before he knew it, he and Neji were outside the room, the door closed in their faces. One part of him wanted to storm back in there and demand to be present, but the other part of him wanted to kill Neji more.

He turned to face the other man. "What do you think you were doing?" he hissed, the Sharingan creeping across his eyes in his rage.

"I've already told both Naruto and the Hokage that I am to be blamed for this incident," Neji said coldly, standing his ground. "But do not forget your part in this as well, Uchiha."

" _What_?" 

"Naruto wasn't training. He was taking out his frustration with _you_. The only reason I agreed to give him space was because he so obviously needed it. And the only reason we were up on the mountain in the first place was because he wanted to get as far away from everyone else as possible so that he could release his anger in peace."

He froze, his face blank.

"Whatever you are doing, stop it. You've hurt him enough already. I've already informed the Hokage that Naruto should either be allowed to move into his own place or move in with me. I won't—”

Sasuke slammed him into the wall, his forearm pressing harshly against the other man’s throat. “He’s mine,” he growled, the Sharingan spinning wildly. “Stay away from him.” 

Neji sneered and grabbed his arm, pushing it away from his throat enough for him to speak but not deigning to really fight back.

“Naruto is _not_ yours. He was never yours and will never _be_ yours. That’s how you lost him in the first place, am I correct? Mistaking him for a toy you could play with and discard instead of a man with emotions and limits? I won’t let you drive him away again. He came back of his own free will, so there must be _some_ redeeming feature in you, Uchiha. But if you don’t start acting like the person Naruto thinks you can be instead of the man I know you to be, then you will lose him. Again.” 

Neji shoved his unresisting body away. “When you drove him away from Konoha, you robbed all of his friends as well. We _won’t_ let you do it again.” He walked into the examining room, closing the door with a quiet _click_. 

…What was he going to do?

\---------

By the time Naruto was ready to leave the hospital, completely cleaned up and with bandages and a sling for his shoulder, Sasuke was his normal aloof, collected self.

Outwardly.

Ignoring the cold looks Neji was giving him, he checked Naruto out of the hospital, and the two of them walked home alone.

After days of being withdrawn and uncommunicative, it was difficult for him to be the one to initiate a conversation. He waited, hoping Naruto would say something to break the silence, but the other man was uncharacteristically quiet as well. 

They were nearly to the house when he finally awkwardly asked, “Why are you still…injured? Shouldn’t Kyuubi be…?” He trailed off as Naruto shrugged brusquely.

“Yeah, Tsunade thinks it’s because of the chakra inhibitors. She said small wounds weren’t a big deal since it didn’t require much chakra to heal, but large wounds like a break and the fact that I have so many…anyway, she said it was still healing faster than normal, but she guessed it’d be a few days before everything could come off.” 

Naruto tossed a fake smile at him. 

“Looks like you’ll be the one taking care of me now.”

Ah, yes. Since his casts had come off today…

He felt uncomfortably guilty. The two of them stared straight ahead as they walked.

What was he supposed to do? Apologize because he hadn’t wanted Naruto to be there when he took his casts off? Wasn’t that his decision? Or maybe because Naruto had gotten hurt while he was out? Was he supposed to be blamed for that?

Fuck.

Even though intellectually he knew he didn’t need to feel guilty for either of those things, emotionally, he did. Because it was his fault. Because if he hadn’t been pushing Naruto away all week, then Naruto would’ve come with him to the hospital, and he wouldn’t have been in a position to get hurt. 

He’d kept thinking that after he got the casts off, he would make it up to Naruto. He would stop being so closed off and would finally talk to Naruto about why he’d come back, about what the two of them should do now, about where they should go in the future. 

But as more and more time went on, it was easier to _not_ talk about any of it, to not get his hopes up, to not have to admit that Naruto leaving had driven him a little mad, to pretend that none of it had ever happened.

It was just that – he didn’t know what he’d do if Naruto hadn’t come back to be with him. 

Naruto had said he’d come back for him, but he still wasn’t sure what that meant. Naruto hadn’t said he loved him or forgiven him for what had happened before. Although he’d been sleeping in the same bed, was that just because he felt guilty? Naruto had never tried to take advantage of their close proximity. Not once. 

He’d made it clear several times over the past year how he felt. He’d already told Naruto he was in love with him. So if Naruto had finally had a change of heart…wouldn’t he have said something by now?

And even though Naruto was obviously angry with him, he was still staying at the Uchiha district. Wasn’t he? Neji had offered him a room, but with the remark about Sasuke needing to take care of him now, didn’t that mean Naruto was planning to stay?

Even though Naruto was upset – still, wasn’t it better to just let him calm down and then settle back into their familiar routine, let them get used to being friends again? Was there really any reason to open old wounds?

He just didn’t know. 

With anyone else, he would’ve been blunt and demanded to know. 

He huffed silently. 

Who was he kidding? With anyone else, he wouldn’t have cared. But with Naruto…

There had just been too many mistakes in the past for him to be certain of anything.

They walked inside the house, Naruto flopping down onto the couch. He walked to the kitchen and started to make a late dinner. It was amazing how good it felt to be able to do such a simple chore.

After a while, Naruto came in and settled into a chair at the small table, watching him work but not saying anything. By the time Sasuke had set the plate of stir-fry and rice in front of him, Sasuke was feeling slightly tense by the considering gaze. 

“Aren’t you gonna feed me?” Naruto asked after looking at his food contemplatively for a long minute, not bothering to pick up the spoon Sasuke had placed near his left hand.

His eyebrows arched up slightly in surprise. “You should be able to feed yourself with—”  
“I injured my right arm,” Naruto interrupted. Something in the way he was looking at Sasuke made it seem as if he were challenging him. “I hate trying to do stuff like this with my left arm. It’s all clumsy.” 

“Wouldn’t you rather do it yourself?” he asked slowly.

“Well, if it bothers you too much to help me—” Naruto said, turning away from him.

“No,” he said. “I don’t – don’t mind.” It felt almost surreal sliding into the seat next to Naruto. It was odd that the other man was asking for assistance, no, demanding it. Naruto always had the attitude that he could do it himself.

It was only as the meal went on with Naruto rudely ordering him around – “I need a drink,” “Some sauce fell. Wipe my chin,” “That bite is too big!” – that Sasuke began to get suspicious. 

His eyes narrowed when Naruto refused to finish off the vegetables. 

“I don’t like green peppers. I don’t wanna eat any.”

Sasuke stubbornly kept the chopsticks raised, glaring at Naruto. “You were the one who bought them. Stop being a baby, and eat!”

“I bought them because I knew _you_ liked them! You’re hands were busted, and I’m a considerate guy! But I don’t want to _eat_ that crap.”

“Naruto…” he growled.

Naruto swatted at the chopsticks with his left hand. Sasuke glared when the food ended up flopping onto the table, his grip on the chopsticks changing ever so slightly.

“What?” Naruto asked belligerently, sticking his chin out and narrowing his eyes to watch Sasuke’s movements. “You’re going to attack a helpless invalid? Just because I didn’t want to eat my veggies?”

He snorted. “You are the least helpless person I know,” he began. He stopped at the triumphant look in Naruto’s eyes.

Sasuke set down the chopsticks on the table with a snap. “Fine,” he said. “You made your point.”

They glared at each other.

“Fuck, Sasuke,” Naruto said at last, sitting back in his chair. “That’s all you’ve got to say? What about, ‘I’m sorry, Naruto, for being such an ass this past week while you were trying to take care of me’? Or how about, ‘I know I was being a dickwad, but it comes with the territory of being an Uchiha.’ Or even—”

“It’s not the same thing!” he exclaimed, incensed. “You only have one injured arm! Assuming you’re really hurt and this wasn’t all just some elaborate ploy to prove a point!” he sneered. “You don’t actually need me to—” 

“Do you think I don’t know you didn’t need me? I don’t doubt for one second that you could have managed on your own! I just wanted to help you! Why was that so bad? It doesn’t make you weak to ask for help!” Naruto banged his uninjured first onto the table, rattling the dishes with the force. “And yes, my collarbone is broken! You want me to take off this stupid wrap and prove it to you? Stop fucking doubting me!”

“Why shouldn’t I doubt you?” he hissed, pushing away from the table. His chair screeched across the floor. “I barely know _this_ Naruto! The one who watches what he says and layers mask upon mask on his face; the one who would choose another country over the one where his lifelong friends are—”

“I came back—“

“But you still left! How I can trust this Naruto? Especially when all you’ve done recently is keep me at a distance?”

“Me!” Naruto rose from his chair as well, the two of them looming over the table, their food forgotten. “I’ve been trying to get close to you, but you—”

“Close to me?” he sneered. “You mean this past week? What about for the past _year_? And why are you even bothering? Do you feel guilty because you left?” 

A part of him enjoyed the way Naruto flinched.

“I don’t want your guilt—”

“It’s not guilt!”

“Then why _did_ you come back, Naruto?” Sasuke stepped closer, his face inches away from the other man’s. He tried to stop the words coming out of his mouth, but he couldn’t. He had to know. “Did staying in Konoha for so long bring back old, bad habits and make you think you had to chase your ‘best friend’,” he spit out the words, “around again? Or did Shin decide he didn’t want you anym—”

Naruto shoved him away, and he would’ve fallen if he hadn’t stumbled back into the table. 

“You such a _fucking_ bastard, you know that?” Naruto roared. “Fuck. _Fuck_! Why the _hell_ do I put _up_ with you?”

Sasuke straightened, his eyes narrowed. “You—”

Naruto grabbed his hair, pulling at it in his agitation. He pointed his finger at Sasuke.

“You are driving me crazy! You’re messed up in the head! You cheated on me, screwed with my head, wouldn’t leave when I told you to, forced me back here, _attacked_ me and then turned your hands into raw meat when I left! You’re fucked up! Fucked up!” he yelled.

Sasuke raised his chin, trying to ignore the feeling of coldness that started creeping across his skin as Naruto continued to rant. Words escaped him.

“You said you loved me, but when I tell you that I came back for you, you don’t say anything! Anything at all! And then when I try to help you, you make it perfectly clear that you don’t want me around! What the hell am I supposed to do with you?”

He said nothing, swallowing the acid that wanted to rise up in his throat. So it was too late then.

“Fuck,” Naruto sighed, his anger fading away. He rubbed his forehead. “Nothing is ever easy with you. I don’t know who’s more fucked up. You for just being you or me for—” He broke off.

Sasuke heard him sigh again and then mutter cryptically, “And I was going to make you say it first...” 

Naruto lifted his head. “You wanna know why I came back, Sasuke? Fine. You’re right. I did feel guilty.”

He locked his knees, his face betraying none of the searing agony that was climbing through his body.

Naruto stepped closer. “I felt guilty for being such a coward…and such a good liar that I even believed my bullshit myself.”

He froze, and against his will, hope fluttered against his chest like a caged bird. 

Naruto’s jaw firmed, and he whispered, half to himself, “I promised myself I would tell you.” 

Sasuke’s heart was pounding.

“I love you, you stupid jackass.”

Although they were close enough to touch, to embrace, to kiss, neither man moved forward that last inch. Sasuke stared in shock, unable to really believe what he’d just heard. And Naruto waited, nervousness evident in his eyes, as well as determination and faintest tinge of hope.

Sasuke tried to say something, but he was too surprised, too undone by hearing the phrase he’d been longing for to be able to utter a coherent word. The sudden change from complete despair to nearly unbearable joy was too much to handle. 

“…Hn.”

His eyes widened in horror at the sound.

But Naruto…Naruto laughed. “Teme,” he said, shaking his head. There was still the nervousness in his amused gaze, but the hope had gotten bigger and brighter as he took in Sasuke’s expression.

He’d kept the words locked inside for so long, had been rejected too many times, that it was difficult to get them out. But he forced himself to say something, because he would _not_ let this opportunity pass him by.

“I – me – me, too – I—” he stuttered, uncharacteristically awkward. 

"Fuck, you better," Naruto replied, his laughed tinged heavily with relief. "I'd kick your ass if you—”

Sasuke closed the distance. It wasn’t the smoothest of kisses. With Naruto’s sling in the way, they couldn’t get as close as they wanted, and there were many things that still needed to be said, but neither man cared. For now, it was enough.

\-------

Sasuke eyed the door to his room as he slowly got ready for bed. Although they’d shared several kisses, it wasn’t like Naruto could do much more with his injury, and even though physically, they wanted to charge forward, once they had separated, their past had once again rushed in, filling the space between them with too much pain and misunderstanding for them to be wholly comfortable.

They’d both been self-conscious afterwards, and it had been very quiet in the kitchen until Naruto had finally decided to go up and bathe. At the time, Sasuke had been grateful for the reprieve, but Naruto had been taking a long time, so long in fact that Sasuke had taken his own bath and gotten ready for bed, and now he was taking an unnecessarily inordinate amount of time to arrange the bedding, waiting for the other man to show up. 

Why was Naruto…

He heard a click, finally signaling the bathroom door opening. He stayed next to the bed so that when Naruto walked in, he could slide into the blankets as if he hadn’t been waiting impatiently for the past thirty minutes since he’d gotten out of the bath himself. 

But Naruto never came. 

What. The. Hell?

After finally – _finally_ – saying he loved Sasuke, what the fuck was the dobe doing now? Was he somehow trying to distance himself from his confession? Had he – had he just been sleeping with Sasuke to make sure he didn’t need anything during the night? So that now that Sasuke didn’t need him anymore, he was going to go back to—

“Sasuke!” He nearly jumped at the sudden call. “Come here for a minute!”

Eyes narrowed, he went to the other room where Naruto was standing wearing his pajama bottoms and the loose, baggy top he’d worn home from the hospital, although it was now covered in water spots.

“Why are you still wearing that shirt, Dobe?” he asked dryly. “Doesn’t it defeat the whole purpose of a bath if you keep your clothes on?”

“I can’t get the shirt off,” Naruto whined, plucking at the fabric. “I spent a good thirty minutes in there trying to wiggle out of it and finally just decided to keep it on. Tsunade told me to not get the bandages wet, so I couldn’t bathe my top half anyway. Help me take it off, Sasuke! I can’t lift my right arm.”

Sasuke stared at him for a moment before shaking his head and huffing. He’d spent a whole week fighting tooth and nail from ever asking Naruto for anything, while Naruto had already asked for help almost as many times in the past few hours as he’d done in the past week.

And he didn’t think any less of the other man for doing it.

Even if it was annoying. He hated when Naruto was right.

He couldn’t help the twitch of his lips.

“I told you,” he muttered. “You already made your point.” Of course, he didn’t think that he’d be able to just casually reach out like Naruto did, but he understood that Naruto was saying he wouldn’t look down on him for it.

He still didn’t know that he could do it, however.

“If you were going to ask anyway,” he said acerbically, “you should’ve asked me to help you take off the shirt so you could sit in the tub without getting your clothes wet.” He grabbed the hem of the shirt with both hands.

“Well, you should’ve offered to help me out. I asked _you_ …” 

Sasuke froze. As in help him take a bath?

“Come on! The wet parts are cold.”

Sasuke started moving again, pulling up the material, slowing down as he saw the number of bruises that littered the shorter man’s chest. He didn’t even realize that he’d let go of the shirt with one hand until he saw it ghosting over a particularly dark bruise on Naruto’s abdomen. 

His eyes widened, and he snatched his hand away. 

They were both quiet as he helped Naruto to take the shirt off the rest of the way. Each time their skin accidentally came in contact, it felt like a burn against his flesh. He put the shirt in the hamper and started to turn away when Naruto asked, “Aren’t you going to help me put on my tank top?”

He looked back to see Naruto holding his top out.

“You should just sleep without it,” he said, not sure that he should get so close to the other man again so soon. “It’ll be easier for you tomorrow, and your metabolism is so high that you never get cold—”

“While it’s true that I don’t get cold easily, I like the weight of the fabric when I’m sleeping, no matter how hot it is outside. Come on, Sasuke. Help me.”

He walked back, Naruto staring at him seriously the whole way. Sasuke wordlessly took his tank top and put it over his head. It was loose enough that they were able to get Naruto’s right arm in with some careful arranging. 

By the time they were finished, Sasuke was extremely aware of Naruto and Naruto’s body. He couldn’t help himself from smoothing the fabric down his back once before stepping back.

“Thanks,” Naruto said, clearing his throat self-consciously. 

He nodded in reply.

Naruto finally turned away and started to walk to his bed. Sasuke’s eyes flicked downward as he realized Naruto intended to stay in his room.

“You coming to bed?” Naruto asked as he pulled back the covers.

Sasuke blinked.

“Since I’m the injured one, I thought it was only fair that we sleep in my bed tonight,” Naruto said matter-of-factly. “Besides,” he said, climbing into the bed, “I miss my pillow.”

Sasuke blinked some more before turning off the light and finally walking to his side of the bed. “You could have always brought your pillow to my room,” he said at last. 

“Nah,” Naruto replied, his voice quiet and moody in the dark. “It doesn’t match your blankets or your room. The orange pillowcase would clash with your—”

“I don’t mind the orange,” he interrupted, his whole body tense. He had so much to make up for. “It suits you.” He took a deep breath. “Orange looks good on you.”

A long pause.

Then, “Yeah, I think so, too.”

It surprised the tiniest of smiles from him.

Another long pause. He could do this.

“Naruto, I’m sorry about this past week,” he said quietly.

“Che, and you call _me_ a dobe.” Sasuke could hear the exasperation…and the forgiveness.

“Well, you are a dobe. Dobe.”

“Teme.”

“Idiot.”

“Dumbass.”

They continued verbally abusing each other, the interval between each insult getting longer and longer, until they finally fell asleep.


	17. Chapter 17

For the next few days, Sasuke and Naruto spent most of their time together as Naruto healed. Naruto made no effort to do anything for himself if he could get Sasuke to do it for him instead, and Sasuke spent the time patiently, and at times, not so patiently, fetching and carrying and responding to Naruto’s whims.

“Sasuke, I left my jacket upstairs…Sasuke, I’m hungry. Make me some ramen…Sasuke, my back itches. Scratch it for me…Sasuke…Sasuke…Sasuke…” 

It caused him no amount of chagrin, but he was…so happy.

It wasn’t like Naruto had magically returned to his previous self, but he was more relaxed around him, not hesitating to joke around or say whatever was on his mind. He didn’t shy away from touching Sasuke, and it was obvious that he _wanted_ to be with him. He never went off on his own, instead preferring to drag Sasuke along if he had to go anywhere. And he hadn’t been silent and pensive at all.

It worried him sometimes that it was going _too_ well, that something had to go wrong because he had never been this happy for this long before.

And at night…at night it was even better. Naruto _had_ been joking when he’d said Sasuke should help him bathe, calling Sasuke a pervert when he’d tentatively brought up the subject. But he did expect Sasuke to help him take off his shirt before his bath, to help him put on his tank top to sleep in and to help him change in the morning. 

No matter how ridiculous it was, Sasuke always felt over-eager and nervous at those times, his hands going much slower than he told them to go, brushing against Naruto’s hot skin too much and too little for comfort. 

When Naruto had taken off his shirt when his hands had been in casts, it had always been quick with minimal touching. Sasuke wouldn’t have tolerated anything else. 

But Naruto never commented on the speed with which Sasuke moved, his chest moving up and down slowly as he waited.

Nonetheless, it was always over much too quickly, and then Naruto would take his shirt, give him a jaunty ‘thanks’ and move away.

Even though they had said they loved each other, they hadn’t done anything more since that first night. The words always seemed to float in the air between them, but…

Naruto had finally gotten all his bandages removed that day. He’d pushed off going back to the hospital for a day, saying his shoulder still bothered him, but it had been obvious that morning that he had regained the full range of motion.

Now there wasn’t any reason for him to need Sasuke’s help getting dressed. And since Naruto was recovered, there really wasn’t a need for them to sleep together anymore either.

Although really, the only reason Sasuke had been sleeping with Naruto had been because he had wanted to. 

He glanced at his bedroom door. Naruto had celebrated his health by going outside to train vigorously after dinner, so Sasuke was already prepared to go to bed while Naruto was just finishing up in the shower. 

He could get into bed and hope that Naruto came to his room, or – or he could make the first move himself.

Since the real reason for sleeping with Naruto hadn’t changed, was he really going to stop just because his excuse had gone away? 

Not if he could help it.

He walked into the hallway and saw the sliver of light under the bathroom door. Naruto would be finished any minute.

Sasuke walked into Naruto’s room and climbed into the bed, rolling onto his side with his back to the door. If Naruto had a problem with the arrangement, he would have to kick him out.

Still, his heart rate was elevated as Naruto finally came into the room.

He heard footsteps, noticing that they paused for a second, before resuming. He could hear the opening and closing of the dresser and the rustling of clothing. His hands twitched as he remembered the feel of tan skin.

The light turned off, momentarily blinding him as his eyes adjusted. It wasn’t until Naruto had already climbed into the bed that he could really see more than vague shapes in the dark, and he realized Naruto was much closer than normal, no longer hugging the edge of the bed as he normally did.

His heart rate sped up even more.

“Sasuke?” Naruto’s voice was low and soft.

“Yes?”

“Um, may I— Ack, never mind.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“What were you going to say?”

“Nothing!”

“Naruto…”

“It was nothing, geez!” Sasuke could imagine him rolling his eyes. 

A long silence. 

Then, “Sasuke?”

“What, Naruto?”

“I’m glad you’re here.”

For a moment, the only sound in the room was the chirp of a cricket outside.

“Me, too,” Sasuke said sincerely.

Naruto hmphed. “Can’t you ever say anything other than ‘me, too’? Seriously, you’re stingier than a miser with your words—”

“Naruto. Shut up.”

“Okay.”

Naruto’s hand fidgeted with the blanket.

“Goodnight, Sasuke.”

“Goodnight, Naruto.”

\-------

“Sasuke, may I kiss you?”

He blinked several times in the darkness. He’d been on the verge of falling asleep, and the question took him completely by surprise. They’d been sleeping together for over a week, but this was the first time Naruto had ever asked that.

After the day Naruto had gotten his bandages and sling removed, Sasuke had hesitantly followed his example of not trying to sleep on the extreme edge of the bed. As a result, they frequently ended up much closer by the time they woke up, even pressed against each other at times, but it wasn’t awkward anymore. 

It was by unspoken mutual agreement that when they both woke up, they would slip apart and get ready for the day, but frequently, when Sasuke woke up first, he would just enjoy the feel of Naruto’s body next to his, his hand stroking his arm discreetly. He would always pull it back when he felt Naruto start to wake up.

It wasn’t uncomfortable anymore, but it wasn’t sexual either. It was still much more about comfort than anything else, the need to know Naruto was really there, the assurance of his body heat, the soft sounds of his breathing.

But kissing…

“Yes.”

Sasuke rolled onto his side facing Naruto. He could see Naruto’s outline blot out the light from the window right before he felt closed lips brush his cheek and then move steadily down to his mouth. It was a firm press of soft lips, nothing more, but it made him extremely aware of his half-naked state.

“Goodnight, Sasuke.”

What? That was barely a kiss! Why that—

“Naruto,” he began, but Naruto floored him.

“Thank you.”

Oh. Well…

Before he could come up with anything to say to that, the even sound of breathing from the man next to him indicated it was too late. Naruto was asleep.

He considered jabbing him awake anyway, but—

He licked his lips. 

But there was always tomorrow.

\------

“Naruto! I heard that you injured your shoulder and arm while I was gone!”

“Oh, yeah. No big deal. I’m all better now. See?” Sasuke watched as Naruto waved his arm in front of Sakura.

“Well, that’s a relief. Tsunade-sama told me that it wasn’t healing as fast as normal, and I was worried you wouldn’t be able do anything for yourself.”

Naruto grinned, scratching the back of his head. “It was a pain in the ass,” he agreed, “but Sasuke took care of me, so—”

“ _Really_?” She blushed at the look Sasuke sent in her direction. “Um, I mean…that’s great…”

“Yeah, he was awesome, making me meals, cleaning up after me, taking off my clothes, stuff like that.”

“What—“

“Gotta go, Sakura-chan! Sasuke’s taking me out for ramen. Wanna come?”

“No,” she said, looking at him in bemusement. “I’m not hungry. Thanks for the invitation, though.”

“Aw, your loss. Come on, Teme!”

“Hn.” 

He definitely did _not_ flush, not even a little, when Sakura started smiling, then beaming, then giggling as the two of them walked away.

\------

That night when Naruto asked to kiss him, he was ready. 

“Yes.”

Once again, he turned on his side, and once again he could Naruto’s outline lean forward. This time, however, when Naruto would have pulled back, Sasuke grabbed his tank top and pulled him back, opening his mouth and slipping his tongue insistently against Naruto’s lips.

By the time Naruto pulled back again, both men were breathing hard.

“Well. That was…um…yeah…”

He didn’t try to stop the smirk when he heard Naruto swallow loudly.

“Goodnight, Naruto,” he said smugly.

“Huh—”

\----

“Sasuke-kun! My beautiful Sakura wanted me to check up on you two. She told me to specifically ask if you needed any help taking off Naruto’s—”

“Shut up, Lee.”

“Yosh!” 

\----

Naruto had a small advantage on him because he didn’t wear a shirt to bed. So when he brushed his hand over his nipple, making his breath hitch, it was Naruto’s turn to smile superiorly when the two of them finally broke apart with him flushed and panting.

Stupid dobe.

\-----

Sasuke knew that Naruto’s new mood had to disappear eventually. But when it finally happened, he couldn’t stop the worry that pervaded him.

For the first time, Naruto was actually out of bed by the time Sasuke woke up. 

“Naruto?” No answer.

He got up, pulling on a shirt and went downstairs in search of his elusive quarry.

Naruto was finishing up his breakfast.

“Naruto?”

“Ah, hey, Sasuke,” Naruto replied, looking up and flashing him a false smile.

Sasuke tried to stop the way his heart pounded.

“You’re awake early,” he said at last.

“Yeah, I’ve got some stuff to do today, and I just wanted to get going.”

Naruto hadn’t mentioned anything the day before. Sasuke couldn’t even guess where this sudden mood change had come from.

“Just give me a minute to get ready,” he said, “and I’ll accompany—”

“No need,” Naruto said, getting up and putting his dishes in the sink. “It would just bore you.” It was the first time Naruto had not asked him to go out with him.

“I won’t be bored,” he said flatly, his eyes narrowing. Naruto was not going to brush him off so easily, not after how far they’d managed to come.

“Sasuke—”

“I’ll be back down in five minutes.” Sasuke turned, not giving him a chance to decline again.

He rushed through getting ready, half expecting the other man to be gone when he went downstairs, but Naruto was waiting impatiently in the living room, pacing.

“Alright, let’s go.”

Sasuke followed him around the whole day, blocking Naruto’s attempts to separate from him. They didn’t talk very much, and Naruto spent a lot of the time in deep thought, his gaze wandering occasionally in the direction of Ame. 

For once, Sasuke didn’t argue or get visibly angry when he observed the direction of his eyes. He just continued to be an obvious presence at Naruto’s side.

By the time they climbed into bed, Sasuke felt almost as weary as if he’d been training all day. Naruto had finally started talking again, making aimless comments and jokes during dinner, but he could tell that whatever had been troubling the other man was still in his thoughts. 

At least he was able to take some reassurance from the fact that Naruto hadn’t objected to sleeping in the same bed, even though he hadn’t looked at Sasuke for quite some time.

He lay in the dark as Naruto turned over in the bed, his movements restless. After about a week, Naruto had stopped asking Sasuke if he could kiss him, just leaning over instead, making his intentions clear as he slowly got closer. 

It was becoming increasingly apparent, however, that he had no intention of doing so that night.

Sasuke had been relatively content to let Naruto decide the direction and speed of their encounters, wanting him to be comfortable, hesitant to push anything. But he refused to let them take a step back.

He had given Naruto as much space as he could the whole day, tried to be there for him in his own awkward way. He didn’t know if he’d been successful or if he’d made things worse, but he wouldn’t – _couldn’t_ – give this up.

“Naruto, may I kiss you?”

A long pause. 

A sigh. 

Then, “Yeah…”

\-----

Sasuke arched up as Naruto rubbed his palm over the sensitive head of his arousal over and over again, his breath hissing out.

They never did this in the cold light of day, but at night, after the lights were turned off and they were in bed together, what had started off as a simple kiss nearly a month ago had eventually progressed to hot hands and shaky cries.

And then Naruto pushed his hand aside and moved lower, and Sasuke couldn’t stop the surprised sound as Naruto added teeth and tongue to the mix.

His hands were suddenly in silky locks, his hips bucking upwards, as Naruto seemed determined to suck him dry in a matter of seconds.

Naruto gripped his hips, licking, nipping, sucking, swallowing. His hands tightened almost painfully as he took him deeper and deeper, his throat constricting around him, and Sasuke came with shuddering cry, his body jerking.

He shivered as Naruto licked him leisurely afterwards, his chest rising and falling quickly. He knew he needed to get up and do something in return, but he needed one more minute to dredge up the energy.

He half-heartedly wondered if Naruto were wearing an overly pleased with himself expression, but he didn’t really care. It wasn’t about that anymore, had never really been about it at all. It was about—

“I love you, Sasuke.”

“Naruto…”

\----

“You mean Neji and Gaara have been dating this whole time?” Naruto asked incredulously, staring at Kiba who was snickering.

“Isn’t it a riot?”

“Bu-but Neji? And _Gaara_? How did that _happen_? And how did you find out?”

Sasuke privately agreed that the two of them seemed an unlikely match. 

“Ah, well, Shika’s the one who actually figured it out.” Kiba sobered momentarily. “After that whole thing with Ino and Chouji…well, you know that Shika’s all about the path of least resistance, and he agreed to that long-term mission in Sand so things could blow over here. I guess it worked since Chouji and Ino still aren’t talking to each other, but they’ve both started talking to him again. Anyway, I guess Temari’s been hanging out with him a bit, and the two of them walked in on Gaara and Neji…getting it on.”

Kiba shoulders started to shake as he laughed. “From what I hear, it’s a good thing Temari was there or Shika would’ve been dead meat.”

It was all he could do to not roll his eyes. The two of them gossiped like old women whenever they got together. Why he agreed to go with Naruto, he never knew.

“Neji and Gaara,” Naruto said again. “I just can’t believe it. Who would’ve ever thought those two would get together?”

Kiba snorted. “Oh, I don’t know,” he said, looking at Naruto and Sasuke sitting side by side on the couch. “It’s not the craziest thing I’ve ever seen.”

\----

“Fuck, Sasuke.” Naruto shuddered above him, his hips thrusting slowly. “You feel so good…” he whispered, staring down into his eyes.

Naruto had taken to leaving a small desk lamp on, simply saying that they didn’t need the darkness anymore. 

Sasuke had understood. It was easier to do things in the dark than in the light, but they no longer felt the need to almost sneak up on each other with their acts of affection.

He grabbed on tighter to Naruto’s arms, his legs wrapped around his hips, pulling him closer, forcing him deeper. 

It wasn’t the first time they’d had sex, or even the tenth, but each time still felt new to Sasuke, felt almost surreal that they were together.

Once the lights had stayed on, it was almost like their whole relationship had changed. They no longer only touched at night. Morning, afternoon, night, they were all one and the same. 

Although Sasuke would never feel comfortable being openly affectionate in public, it was no secret that the two of them were together. For all of Naruto's bluster and loudness, he was also a private person when it came to personal matters, and while he didn't announce their new status, unlike Sasuke, he was relaxed enough to let his hand linger on Sasuke's arm or to sit closer than absolutely necessary. They weren't obvious shows of affection, but for their friends, it was clear enough that things had changed. And for Naruto's sake, everyone tried to include Sasuke more in their gatherings, although it was largely unnecessary. 

Where Naruto went, so too did Sasuke. 

"Naruto!" 

The feel of Naruto sliding inside of him, his hips pressed urgently against him as he pushed in as far as he could go, made shudders run up and down Sasuke's body. There was just something about having Naruto as deep within him as possible that made him nearly euphoric. The deeper the better. Even after Naruto orgasmed and got soft, Sasuke liked the feel of him inside and was reluctant to have him withdraw - although he would never admit it. 

But having Naruto, holding him, loving him...they'd become as necessary as breathing. Whenever Naruto was deep within him, it was the closest they could humanly get, and he craved that feeling, knowing Naruto was there in his arms, that he wasn't going anywhere, that Sasuke had actually somehow gotten him back.

Suddenly the pace of the thrusts sped up, and Naruto slammed into him, making Sasuke cry out and nearly arch off the bed, his hands digging into Naruto's arms. 

Naruto leaned forward to kiss him, bending him nearly in two and giving him what he so desperately needed as he surged even deeper, ruthlessly driving harder when he tore his mouth away to yell as Naruto hit his prostate, pounding into him, forcing him to call out louder and louder as an outlet for the pleasure, either that or shatter from the winding, growing tension.

When his orgasm finally hit, it seemed to come so suddenly that he wasn't even able to make a sound, his mouth open in a silent scream, his body jerking even while he pulled Naruto impossibly closer. The sudden quiet after the loudness of his cries seemed to ring in his ears, and he heard Naruto growl out his name as his own body shook, hot spurts of come filling him. 

Ripples of pleasure made him twitch, and Naruto, mistaking his movements, groaned and started to pull away, but he clutched him, refusing to let go so soon.

"Sasuke," Naruto rasped, his voice husky, "you need to let go. I'm going to crush you."

"Dobe, you're fine," he replied, hiding his expression, which was at odds with his brusque tone, in Naruto's hair.

"Seriously, Sasuke," Naruto complained, trying to pull back. "I'm about to fall asleep like this, and if I do, you're going to look like a squashed pancake in the morning."

"Che, idiot. I'll kick you off when I'm ready." He nearly scowled when Naruto attempted to move yet again and wrapped his legs tighter around him.

Naruto gasped. "Teme, all your squirming is making me—" There was no need to finish the sentence as Sasuke could feel the effects of his movements for himself.

"Stamina freak," he accused. But he squeezed his inner muscles and turned his head to kiss Naruto, not entirely displeased with the development.

Naruto chuckled. "Don't say I didn't warn you..."

\----

"Naruto!" Sasuke growled as he tore through the house, looking for his prey. He finally found him outside in the courtyard, training.

"Oh, hey, Sasuke," Naruto called out, seemingly unconcerned by his expression.

"What the fuck is this?" he hissed, holding up the scroll in his hand.

"Um...it looks like a mission scroll to me," Naruto replied, rubbing his neck.

"It _is_ a mission scroll as a matter of fact," he growled. "What I want to know is _why_ I am receiving a mission scroll when I am supposed to be assigned to guard _you_."

"Well," Naruto said, lazily tossing a kunai as he leaned back against a training dummy, "I would imagine you need to ask Tsunade about that—"

"I _did_ talk to her," he said, stalking forward. "And she told me to talk to _you_."

"Huh, imagine that," he said carelessly, still flipping the blade into the air. "I—"

"Stop fucking around and tell me what this is about," Sasuke snapped, grabbing the kunai out of the air and flinging it into another wooden dummy, the blade vibrating with the force of the throw.

Naruto crossed his arms across his chest and looked up at Sasuke determinedly. "Sasuke, you're an Anbu Captain. They need you out there, doing missions and kicking ass. What they don't need is you sitting in Konoha, babysitting me."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed dangerously. "The Hokage agreed with me that I was to be assigned to you, which is why you're—"

"Sure, I get that. I know they stuck me with you because you had the best chance of convincing me to stay." Naruto rolled his eyes. "But that was almost a year and a half ago! And besides, I've already made my decision. I'm here, aren't I? So there's no reason for you to be wasting your time watching over me!"

"I've already refused the mission." He flung the scroll onto the ground. "This is none of your business—"

"Sasuke! You're wasted here! I'm not going anywhere! Hell, with these inhibitors on, even if I wanted to sneak off somewhere just to annoy the Council, someone could catch up to me in minutes! It doesn't have to be you watching me!"

He clenched his jaw, amazed by how much the words hurt him. "As I said, I've already refused the mission. Stop trying to interfere." He turned and started to walk away, his whole body tense, but Naruto's next words made him pause.

"I know you're bored, Sasuke. Ninja aren't meant for this much inactivity. Take the mission."

"No," he growled and started walking again.

"Damn it, Sasuke!" Naruto grabbed his arm and whirled him around. "I'll be here when you get back!"

Sasuke froze.

"Trust me," Naruto pleaded, holding his shoulders and shaking him. "I'm _not_ going to leave you."

He was horrified when his voice came out low and broken. "You can't know that..."

"Sasuke..." Naruto's hands traveled up to his face, cupping his cheeks. He looked up earnestly into tortured black eyes.

"Sasuke, _trust_ me. I _will_ be here. I'm not going to leave you again, I swear! This – you—" Naruto shook his head and struggled to find the right words.

"This isn't you," he said at last. "It's like you're trying to change in order to become someone you think I want. But I don't want that person! I want you, Sasuke, just you." Naruto brushed back a lock of black hair. 

"You go with me to loud parties and actually try to talk to people!” Naruto shook his head in disbelief. “You eat ramen more times than is good for anyone except me. We hardly ever argue, and the number of times you insult me has gone down like crazy! Sasuke, do you realize this is the first time you've really gotten upset with me for months?"

“I – I’m not – I want to – Naruto—” 

“Sasuke.” Naruto pulled his head down slightly so they could rest their foreheads together, his breath against Sasuke’s lips. 

“It would be one thing if you were changing because you wanted to. But you don’t, you’re trying to change for me, and it’s not necessary. If I wanted someone nice and easy to get along with whom did everything I wanted, I would’ve chosen – hell, anyone else other than you. But I didn’t. You, just you,” he whispered again. “That’s all I want.”

Sasuke’s eyes were trained on the ground. “I—”

“Take the mission, Sasuke. I _swear_ I’ll be here when you get back. A promise of a lifetime.”

“You won’t leave me?” he asked in a small voice.

“I promise,” he repeated, pulling him close and hugging him tightly.

\----

Sasuke washed all the travel grit off his body, relieved to be back home. Although this mission had only lasted a few days, he still didn’t feel easy when he was away from Naruto, even though the worry had finally started to lessen after repeatedly coming home to find the other man waiting for him.

That first mission had been horrible. It had supposed to have been a weeklong mission, but Sasuke had returned to Konoha after four days, his body weak from lack of sleep and overexertion. Naruto, needless to say, had not been happy at his state, but he’d been understanding all the same. 

It wasn’t that he’d intended to exhaust his body, but sleep had eluded him, waking nightmares following him around, and he’d been forced to hasten the mission if he’d wanted it to succeed. 

Even now, he refused any mission that lasted longer than two weeks, and even those had to be urgent. The need to be close to Naruto had not abated, and Sasuke doubted it would ever really disappear.

It had been almost six months since he started taking missions again, almost ten since Naruto had returned on his own. He’d spent a lot of his down time thinking about the things Naruto had told him all those months before.

He’d been so concerned with not giving Naruto a reason to leave that he’d become a shadow of his former self. It made him vaguely understand why Naruto had put up with so much from him in the beginning. He’d started by making small adjustments to his life to accommodate Naruto, and it became so habitual that when he had made an even larger change, it hadn’t seemed so big in comparison. 

But Naruto kept trying to show him that their relationship was not supposed to be a one-sided thing, dominated only by the wishes of one man.

A person couldn’t go through the things they had experienced and _not_ be different in some degree, but Sasuke accepted the alterations and had found peace in the man he’d become. He still carried darkness inside of him, but he would never hurt Naruto like that again.

He finished rinsing and got out of the bath, drying off but not bothering to put on a change of clothes. He tied the towel around his hips loosely and walked into their bedroom where he knew Naruto was waiting for him.

They had finally moved all of Naruto’s things back into the master bedroom, cheerfully arguing about which of their things should be kept or put away. Although decorated in mainly dark tones, splashes of orange and light blue were evident throughout, including Naruto’s large orange pillow. 

Sasuke frequently thought it was an eyesore, but when Naruto’s head was lying on it, he never found a reason to complain. 

“Hey, Teme,” Naruto said, putting down a letter he’d been reading. “How was the mission?”

Sasuke shrugged.

Naruto grinned. He knew that if Sasuke had something important to say, he would eventually get around to it. 

Sasuke had finally stopped going with him every time he went to meet friends, and his socializing skills had quickly deteriorated to their previous levels, but he still opened up to Naruto.

He watched as Sasuke took off the towel and draped it over the chair, appreciating the play of muscles as he moved. He put the letter down on the bedside table. 

Sasuke crawled into bed until he was laying half on Naruto. He blinked up at Sasuke’s serious eyes.

“Naruto, may I kiss you?”

His eyes widened. Neither man had asked that question in a long time.

“Sure...”

Sasuke leaned down, pressing closed lips to his before parting them slightly and sliding his tongue into Naruto’s willing mouth.

Naruto’s eyes closed appreciatively. Although Sasuke was extremely skilled, there was something almost tentative about the motion. He got an inkling of what Sasuke wanted.

When they parted, he batted his eyelashes and teased huskily, “What _are_ you going to do with me, Sasuke?”

“Dobe,” murmured Sasuke, a small smirk playing along his lips. When he bent his head again, the kiss was much surer, the strokes of his tongue confident.

Naruto sighed as his mouth moved down to his neck, leisurely sucking and nipping gently, making goose bumps rise on his skin. This was the first time Sasuke had wanted to take control of their lovemaking, and although he was enjoying the sensations, he couldn’t stop the niggle of worry. 

The last time they’d had sex like this was before he’d left Konoha for the first time, and thinking about that period in his life was always—

He groaned when Sasuke’s mouth moved down to a nipple, his hand finding its twin, plucking and rubbing. 

_This is not the same_ , he reminded himself and tried to ignore the whispers of doubt. He trusted Sasuke. There was no need to be paranoid because of ill-timed memories.

Sasuke had never been this gentle, this slow and patient, and Naruto was growling in frustration by the time Sasuke’s hand touched him, his body’s urges impossible to deny even while his mind was conflicted. 

All thought temporarily left him as Sasuke’s mouth followed his hand’s path, hot and wet. His lashes fluttered as sensation flooded him. Sasuke had never used to do this, but he’d gotten extremely proficient at it in the past months. 

Extremely.

Thought returned in a rush when he felt a questing finger slip beneath him. He was grateful his body was already so tense, because he wouldn’t have wanted to give away his nervousness as Sasuke pressed against his opening, massaging it, adding tingly shocks to his system as he started a rhythm of pushing forward and pulling back, never fully breaching the muscle.

He didn’t know if it was a combination of fear and adrenalin with the sucking pressure around his erection or just his body’s desire to get things over with, but he was already shockingly close. 

“Sasuke,” he warned, tugging on black locks.

Sasuke made his way slowly back up his cock, his teeth lightly, lightly playing across his skin, sucking quickly on the tip as he pulled off and making Naruto arch off the bed. 

Naruto opened his eyes, expecting a smirk and teasing words, but Sasuke’s face was still unusually serious. 

“Will you get on all fours?”

He quickly rolled over, wanting to hide the hurt as the question. It was just a position. Just because Sasuke had always wanted to do it facing away from each other didn’t mean anything. 

He forced himself to remain relaxed when he felt hands grip his hips. He was certain of Sasuke’s feelings. He was. He wouldn’t—

His whole body shuddered as Sasuke’s tongue found him. 

Sasuke had _never_ done this before.

“Fuck!” he whispered, getting heady from the feel of the smooth muscle rocking into him. 

He wasn’t even conscious of dropping down onto his elbows, his head pressed to the bed, as he sought more of that dizzying sensation. 

Sasuke lapped at the ring of muscle tentatively, slow, wet strokes that made muffled whimpers escape him. When he went back to thrusting against him, sliding his tongue more assuredly deeper and deeper inside, wiggling around and forcing him to loosen, Naruto seriously wondered if he was going to orgasm. It had been a long, _long_ time since he’d felt anything like this, and it was getting to be too much for him.

He couldn’t stop the long drawn out groan when Sasuke cupped his testicles, rubbing them gently between his spread legs as his tongue danced inside of him.

“Sasuke…”

Sasuke heard the urgency in his voice and pulled away, rolling him onto his back. His own hands were clumsy as he grabbed the lube on the bedside table. 

“Hurry,” Naruto demanded, his voice thick, relief shining in his eyes.

“Naruto?” Sasuke asked, his hands stilling as he looked down, concerned. “Did I—”

“Hurry,” Naruto repeated, pulling him down for a desperate kiss, urgency replacing the previous tension.

He hissed as he felt one finger slip inside of him, the sensation making his stomach clench in anticipation. 

“More,” he said, sucking on Sasuke’s neck, biting at the curse seal and making the other man jerk and shiver.

Two fingers.

“Sasuke, if you don’t fucking move your ass, I’m gonna—”

Three fingers. Naruto’s back arched and his breathing became ragged.

“I won’t hurt you,” Sasuke said. A promise.

“Sasuke,” he growled. "You won't hurt me, now get—” He groaned as Sasuke finally complied, the full feeling as he pushed inside of him making him almost light-headed. Even with all of Sasuke's preparation, it had been such a long time that pain sent red streaks around the edges of his vision, but he didn't care. He welcomed the burn.

"Naruto?" Sasuke panted, his voice tight with tension. Naruto could feel him trembling in a fine line above him. He wrapped his legs around his hips and pulled him down for a kiss, the movement making his breath catch.

Sasuke finally pulled his head back, and rose up on his elbows, his eyes level with Naruto's. "I want to see you," he murmured, starting a slow, thrusting motion that had Naruto's hands gripping his hips as if to speed him up.

Naruto's eyes nearly fluttered closed as his prostate was hit, sending a shudder down his body.

"Look at me, Naruto," Sasuke commanded hoarsely.

He forced his eyes back open, his hips moving in tandem with Sasuke's, his hands clutching onto him, urging him on.

"So beautiful," Sasuke whispered, his voice shattered in realization as if he had never seen him before. 

Naruto's heart ached, and he swallowed painfully. Straightening one leg, he rolled them so he was on top, taking advantage of Sasuke's momentary surprise to pull him up into a sitting position, and wrap his legs around his hips. He tangled his fingers into ebony hair and pulled Sasuke's head back, leaning forward to devour his mouth.

"Move," he demanded and put action to his words by rising up and slamming himself back down. 

Sasuke gasped and clutched his hips with his hands as he thrust upwards almost violently. It was Naruto's turn to gasp.

"Naruto, Naruto, Naruto," Sasuke murmured over and over again, almost in time with the deep, snapping movements of his hips.

He fought to keep his eyes open as he stared down into stormy black, but it was impossible. Every time Sasuke connected with his prostate, he would shudder, a groan ripped from his throat, and his eyes would close. He would try to pry them open, a hint of blue visible beneath his lashes, and then Sasuke would do it all over again.

Soon, his groans turned into one long continuous sound.

Sasuke shifted one hand behind him for leverage as he thrust upwards, starting a punishing rhythm while he clumsily moved his other hand to pump his rigid arousal, Naruto's body bowing as he reacted, his hands convulsing around Sasuke's shoulders as he scrambled for support.

“I’ve got you,” Sasuke panted, his hand coming back around to hold Naruto firmly, keeping him in place as his thrusts became erratic.

The feel of Sasuke wrapped around him, holding him so tightly, was the last stimulus he needed, and Naruto folded his arms around the other man, gasping his name, kissing everywhere he could reach as his body shook, his hands digging fiercely into pale skin as his only anchor.

Sasuke made a relieved moan, speeding up furiously for a moment before he stiffened, Naruto's name still on his lips.

Naruto tried to regain his breath as he panted, his head resting against Sasuke's. He finally groaned and raised himself up to his knees, letting the other man slip out of him with a small wince. His eyes widened in slight surprise as Sasuke fell backward onto the bed, pulling him down with him so he was sprawled on top of him.

Sasuke's amused eyes glanced up at him.

"Teme," he complained half-heartedly. 

Once again, Sasuke's eyes became serious as he stroked Naruto's hair, pushing it away from his face. "I love you," Sasuke said quietly.

Naruto looked down at him in slight surprise. It wasn't something the two of them said often, even though they both knew and felt the truth. "Me, too," Naruto replied at last, teasing him.

"Idiot." It was an exasperated but affectionate sound.

Naruto's laugh filled the room.

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to the readers that requested I post this fic, even though I was trying to be lazy and not retag everything. It makes me so pleased that people remember this and want to read it again. Thank you.
> 
> ETA: OMG, this was 87K long????????? No wonder it took me over a year to finish it! DDDDDDD8


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